Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
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20-09-2013, 11:37 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 08:24 AM)Chas Wrote:  You are that hang gliding, astrophoto, Porsche guy Derek, right?

Yeah...

Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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20-09-2013, 11:47 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
Or maybe, like Girly and Greta, you just want to be alone. Tongue




As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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20-09-2013, 11:55 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 11:47 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Or maybe, like Girly and Greta, you just want to be alone. Tongue




I won't lie. Most people annoy the hell out of me. I don't know why. My wife says sometimes I sound like the type who would go, "GET OFF MY LAWN!" but I don't feel like I'm that way. My sisters says my interactions with people makes it seem like I just hate pretty much anyone who is stupid.

I don't feel like I act this way... unless perhaps it's a social thing that I do and I don't realize it. I try to be aware of how I treat people, and I don't try to offend people or piss them off. But... to a large degree, I do find a lot of people to annoy me, so I spend a lot of my time doing my activities, or in my garage working on my cars. I am generally not lonely while doing those things. But in the interim, times between, I hate not having social interaction or friends or people to hang out with or do things with.

Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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20-09-2013, 12:04 PM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 11:55 AM)Logisch Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 11:47 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Or maybe, like Girly and Greta, you just want to be alone. Tongue




I won't lie. Most people annoy the hell out of me. I don't know why. My wife says sometimes I sound like the type who would go, "GET OFF MY LAWN!" but I don't feel like I'm that way. My sisters says my interactions with people makes it seem like I just hate pretty much anyone who is stupid.

I don't feel like I act this way... unless perhaps it's a social thing that I do and I don't realize it. I try to be aware of how I treat people, and I don't try to offend people or piss them off. But... to a large degree, I do find a lot of people to annoy me, so I spend a lot of my time doing my activities, or in my garage working on my cars. I am generally not lonely while doing those things. But in the interim, times between, I hate not having social interaction or friends or people to hang out with or do things with.

Wow...sounds a lot like me...
I used to try to build friendships in real life, but I have had my fill of drama for one lifetime and so many people seem to thrive on it. When I get done with school in the spring, I know I am going to have to find something to fill my time - I may have to wade out into the people pool.

Everyone else has given good advice, go for groups that share your interests...great place to start.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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20-09-2013, 12:11 PM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
I see nothing wrong with just being alone. The things I do for fun are often somewhat solitary things. Although sometimes I would like some company, it isn't always completely up to me; companionship is a two way street. Many people don't understand being lonely or sometimes, just don't appreciate companionship.

One time a few years ago, I needed to finish painting my house. I didn't really want anyone to help me but, I also felt very lonely as I was doing it. I kept asking this guy from work to come over and watch me paint but he was afraid I was trying to get him to help so, he kept refusing. Finally, I just flat out told him I only wanted him there for company, he didn't need to lift a brush, and I would even furnish a six pack of whatever he wanted to drink if he would just sit there and talk to me.

Fucker still said no. What an asshole. Believe it or not, he's my only friend in town. Dodgy


Even a dog won't play with someone just because they have a pork chop around their neck... the dog's gotta be hungry enough.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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20-09-2013, 12:11 PM
Re: RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 11:47 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Or maybe, like Girly and Greta, you just want to be alone. Tongue




Give me a vhiskey... And don't be stingy.

Then we can get to the bottom of friends business.

I have the issue too, I found a philosophy group locally once but it dispanded. Meetups or whatnot still have other groups but all I ever see in my area are Christian things or old lady book groups

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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20-09-2013, 12:24 PM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 12:11 PM)ClydeLee Wrote:  Meetups or whatnot still have other groups but all I ever see in my area are Christian things or old lady book groups.

That actually sounds interesting to me. Blush

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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20-09-2013, 12:50 PM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
And...
There is another member that posted on here about being lonely and wishing for a relationship. I got some shit about my response but I still hold that not all of us are meant to be social butterflies.
Solitude works pretty well for me. Think about if you are thinking you are lonely and would like to make friends or if you think you should have friends.
Sounds like you and your wife are doing well and that's great! I wish I had that. My marriage is the loneliest thing in my life...I would prefer to be alone.

Good luck...we like you...so you don't completely suck with people. Wink

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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20-09-2013, 01:33 PM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
Wow, I could have written the OP myself. I am constantly told (or hear second-hand) from people I meet that I'm "intimidating" or "intense." I have no idea why. I'm the type of person who says what's on my mind without trying to flower it up to spare people's feelings, and I guess that comes off to others as me being curt or short with them. I just lost one of my oldest and closest friends over it, actually. Guess I don't use enough smiley faces in my text messages for people to not take them the wrong way. Consider

Anyways, I don't really have any advice as I haven't found the answer yet myself, but know that you're not alone in this. I'll let you all know if and when I perfect the social grace serum.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it- not even if I have said it- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
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20-09-2013, 02:48 PM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 01:33 PM)Ohio Sky Wrote:  Guess I don't use enough smiley faces in my text messages for people to not take them the wrong way. Consider

This reminds me of a math teacher in jr high school... I knew a few of the older kids were terrified of this guy but I didn't know why. Finally, I got into his class and I found out.

A majority of the time he was just a regular teacher and pretty ok but, rarely expressed any kind of emotion; really, just a blank, expressionless face.

However, if he was pissed at something you did, he would proceed to tell you off to the point of humiliation and while doing so, he would be smiling the sweetest, kindest smile. It was the only time anyone ever -EVER- saw him smile.

In fact, I don't think I ever heard of anyone who saw him smile more than once... I know I only saw it only once... what a relief. I became really good at geometry really fast. Smiling fucker was terrifying. Dodgy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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