Not wanting kids.
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12-12-2013, 10:25 AM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 10:17 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 10:12 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  Those of us who had more than 2 kids have got you covered. Worry not. If you don't want kiddos - don't have em?

no problemThumbsup

Yeah, but that's not the general attitude. In my generation it was unthinkable - it could not have been choice! Something had to have been wrong with poor me. Poor woman can't have kids. I still gather pity from new people I meet.

"Oh no, you never had children! I am so sorry!"

Pfffftt!

Yes - you are right and I've heard that *attitude* too swimming around out there at cocktail parties. That attitude sucks. Period. It's judgmental and hateful.

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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12-12-2013, 10:28 AM
RE: Not wanting kids.
I have never had any interest is having kids. I have had people say that this mindset is horrible/sad. I think it's worse to have kids if you don't want them or don't want to care for them.

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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12-12-2013, 10:37 AM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 10:17 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  My timeline is something like...stable career....get married...buy a house...have 2 kids (I'm pretty set on this number).
What would you do if your future wife gave birth to triplets? Consider

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12-12-2013, 10:41 AM
RE: Not wanting kids.
I had kids when I was too young (22) and looked like a 15 year old so I felt the pity and judgement of people in the opposite way of some people in this thread. Similarly there was very little I could do about the situation but learn to become a good father and love them inconditionally. I still want to adopt.

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
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12-12-2013, 11:38 AM
RE: Not wanting kids.
If a person doesn't want kids, they shouldn't have them, period. It's not a good thing for parent or child when a child is unwanted.

If you want kids, fine have them, adopt them and then raise them with love.

Being childless was a huge stigma, as mentioned, people assumed that you were faulty and to be pitied if you didn't have kids. Cause, ya know, that whole be fruitful and multiply thing - you really can't choose to not have children, that would be against God's will. Where I grew up it was common for families to have five or more children and not surprising at all to have 10 or more, and farm families often numbered in the teens. Them durn Catholics were doing their best to make more Catholics.

I think as families have gotten smaller and that's become more acceptable, the childless aren't looked at with as much suspicion as they once were.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude.

Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart doesn't cry. Just because she comes off strong doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.
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12-12-2013, 11:58 AM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 10:37 AM)Vosur Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 10:17 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  My timeline is something like...stable career....get married...buy a house...have 2 kids (I'm pretty set on this number).
What would you do if your future wife gave birth to triplets? Consider
Haha, well obviously I'd sacrifice the last born! Just playing, of course I'd raise all three. Honestly the reason I want two has to do with money, not with how many kids I would find enjoyable. An extra kid would just delay my retirement Weeping.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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12-12-2013, 01:03 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 10:37 AM)Vosur Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 10:17 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  My timeline is something like...stable career....get married...buy a house...have 2 kids (I'm pretty set on this number).
What would you do if your future wife gave birth to triplets? Consider

You drown one, of course. Yes

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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12-12-2013, 01:11 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 01:03 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 10:37 AM)Vosur Wrote:  What would you do if your future wife gave birth to triplets? Consider

You drown one, of course. Yes
Or better yet, sell it to a circus.

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12-12-2013, 01:11 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
I hate when people nag 'when are you getting married?' 'when are you going to have kids?' Then they lay some happy, flowery, life is so wonderful and so complete, blah, blah, bullshit on you and make you wonder if you are missing out on something.

well, let me tell ya….spouses and children are EXPENSIVE and HARD.

get married: the price of most everything you spend money on just doubled…twice the groceries, twice the TP, twice the clothing budget, twice the car insurance.

add a few kids and now your rent/mortgage probably just doubled, shoe shopping just got expensive because kids out grow the damn things faster than you can blink, same with clothes, food-I buy at the store and it disappears --poof! toys, driving their butt to a bazillion things, your free time…no longer yours. Your free time is now waiting for them in the carpool line, or waiting for them to finish a piano lesson.


Most of my life I was on the fence- maybe I will have kids, maybe I won't. But when 35 hit the maternal clock started clicking very loudly. I'm happy I waited- I think I'm a better parent for waiting. I'm happy I'm a parent-but I'm not sugar coating it for anyone.
If you have doubts - DON"T DO IT.


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12-12-2013, 01:30 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
Bows and Arrows knows whatsup Thumbsup.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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