Not wanting kids.
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12-12-2013, 01:30 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
We were a baby-making factory. I spent the 80s pregnant. I don't advise it. Seriously. Every time I turned around my Dr was saying "Yep - you're pregnant".
It's so unfair for women who desperately want to get pregnant and have trouble and then there's baby machines like me. Good Grief!
I wanted to be a surrogate but hubby said no. He feared I could never give them up and we'd end up with 12 kids +.

As for the kiddos - I used Bill Cosby lines on them - threatening them if they misbehaved:
"I'll make another one looks just like you. Makes no difference to me" [1]





[1] meant funny of course

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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12-12-2013, 01:30 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 01:11 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I hate when people nag 'when are you getting married?' 'when are you going to have kids?' Then they lay some happy, flowery, life is so wonderful and so complete, blah, blah, bullshit on you and make you wonder if you are missing out on something.

well, let me tell ya….spouses and children are EXPENSIVE and HARD.

get married: the price of most everything you spend money on just doubled…twice the groceries, twice the TP, twice the clothing budget, twice the car insurance.

add a few kids and now your rent/mortgage probably just doubled, shoe shopping just got expensive because kids out grow the damn things faster than you can blink, same with clothes, food-I buy at the store and it disappears --poof! toys, driving their butt to a bazillion things, your free time…no longer yours. Your free time is now waiting for them in the carpool line, or waiting for them to finish a piano lesson.


Most of my life I was on the fence- maybe I will have kids, maybe I won't. But when 35 hit the maternal clock started clicking very loudly. I'm happy I waited- I think I'm a better parent for waiting. I'm happy I'm a parent-but I'm not sugar coating it for anyone.
If you have doubts - DON"T DO IT.

Have you heard of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Ha...046501867X
It's written by an economist. It makes the case that you don't need to put yourself and your kids through the myriad of activities parents sometimes feel intimidated into. It makes both kids and parents miserable and according to economists is of little to no effect on the outcome of your kid as an adult.

Having said that, I agree with your statement "If you have doubts - DON"T DO IT."

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
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12-12-2013, 03:17 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 01:30 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 01:11 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I hate when people nag 'when are you getting married?' 'when are you going to have kids?' Then they lay some happy, flowery, life is so wonderful and so complete, blah, blah, bullshit on you and make you wonder if you are missing out on something.

well, let me tell ya….spouses and children are EXPENSIVE and HARD.

get married: the price of most everything you spend money on just doubled…twice the groceries, twice the TP, twice the clothing budget, twice the car insurance.

add a few kids and now your rent/mortgage probably just doubled, shoe shopping just got expensive because kids out grow the damn things faster than you can blink, same with clothes, food-I buy at the store and it disappears --poof! toys, driving their butt to a bazillion things, your free time…no longer yours. Your free time is now waiting for them in the carpool line, or waiting for them to finish a piano lesson.


Most of my life I was on the fence- maybe I will have kids, maybe I won't. But when 35 hit the maternal clock started clicking very loudly. I'm happy I waited- I think I'm a better parent for waiting. I'm happy I'm a parent-but I'm not sugar coating it for anyone.
If you have doubts - DON"T DO IT.

Have you heard of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Ha...046501867X
It's written by an economist. It makes the case that you don't need to put yourself and your kids through the myriad of activities parents sometimes feel intimidated into. It makes both kids and parents miserable and according to economists is of little to no effect on the outcome of your kid as an adult.

Having said that, I agree with your statement "If you have doubts - DON"T DO IT."

I haven't read that book but it sounds like my philosophy regarding kids. Parents spend a ridiculous amount of money buying them all kinds of stuff they really don't need.

I have two kids, one in college and the other still deciding what to do in life. Anyway, I loved being a mom. I found it to be creative and fun and when my kids were little they were so entertaining. Yeah, its work but fun work. However, it you don't want kids don't have them.

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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12-12-2013, 03:26 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 01:30 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 01:11 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I hate when people nag 'when are you getting married?' 'when are you going to have kids?' Then they lay some happy, flowery, life is so wonderful and so complete, blah, blah, bullshit on you and make you wonder if you are missing out on something.

well, let me tell ya….spouses and children are EXPENSIVE and HARD.

get married: the price of most everything you spend money on just doubled…twice the groceries, twice the TP, twice the clothing budget, twice the car insurance.

add a few kids and now your rent/mortgage probably just doubled, shoe shopping just got expensive because kids out grow the damn things faster than you can blink, same with clothes, food-I buy at the store and it disappears --poof! toys, driving their butt to a bazillion things, your free time…no longer yours. Your free time is now waiting for them in the carpool line, or waiting for them to finish a piano lesson.


Most of my life I was on the fence- maybe I will have kids, maybe I won't. But when 35 hit the maternal clock started clicking very loudly. I'm happy I waited- I think I'm a better parent for waiting. I'm happy I'm a parent-but I'm not sugar coating it for anyone.
If you have doubts - DON"T DO IT.

Have you heard of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Ha...046501867X
It's written by an economist. It makes the case that you don't need to put yourself and your kids through the myriad of activities parents sometimes feel intimidated into. It makes both kids and parents miserable and according to economists is of little to no effect on the outcome of your kid as an adult.

Having said that, I agree with your statement "If you have doubts - DON"T DO IT."

I haven't read that book, but its SUPER EASY to schedule yourself and your kids till you are bonkers and/or broke. But here's one example for those of you without kids: My daughter is 10, she wants to play club soccer (hopes to make the middle school team next year). Seems like an easy request, until you sign up: Atleast $250 (more like $400) to join the club (pays for fields, refs, etc), uniforms ($50), cleats, shin guards, ball, mouthpiece, soccer socks ($75). And then practice Tues and Thurs, and skills development on Friday, and game on Saturday (from August thru December) Throw homework in the mix and you just lost 3 evenings a week, and your Saturday morning. That's not including the gas, the gallons of gatorade, the cupcakes for birthday, the "special" soccer event for some stupid reason, a team magnet for the car, tshirt for friends to sign. And you wonder to yourself wtf?……my kid just wanted to play soccer? Shocking

I don't know how parents who have kids that play multiple sports do it. No Or families with kids doing different sports.

stuff that you think is simple just isn't when kids are involved.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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12-12-2013, 03:33 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 03:26 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 01:30 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  Have you heard of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Ha...046501867X
It's written by an economist. It makes the case that you don't need to put yourself and your kids through the myriad of activities parents sometimes feel intimidated into. It makes both kids and parents miserable and according to economists is of little to no effect on the outcome of your kid as an adult.

Having said that, I agree with your statement "If you have doubts - DON"T DO IT."

I haven't read that book, but its SUPER EASY to schedule yourself and your kids till you are bonkers and/or broke. But here's one example for those of you without kids: My daughter is 10, she wants to play club soccer (hopes to make the middle school team next year). Seems like an easy request, until you sign up: Atleast $250 (more like $400) to join the club (pays for fields, refs, etc), uniforms ($50), cleats, shin guards, ball, mouthpiece, soccer socks ($75). And then practice Tues and Thurs, and skills development on Friday, and game on Saturday (from August thru December) Throw homework in the mix and you just lost 3 evenings a week, and your Saturday morning. That's not including the gas, the gallons of gatorade, the cupcakes for birthday, the "special" soccer event for some stupid reason, a team magnet for the car, tshirt for friends to sign. And you wonder to yourself wtf?……my kid just wanted to play soccer? Shocking

I don't know how parents who have kids that play multiple sports do it. No Or families with kids doing different sports.

stuff that you think is simple just isn't when kids are involved.

I could have never done that and built a business at the same time. That would have been complete insanity!

Not that I didn't drive myself insane anyway. Tongue

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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12-12-2013, 03:34 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
I was always amazed when I heard of other kids (or of my nieces or nephews) whose parents would help them with homework. The only help I ever got was when my mom proof read my essays which probably took up less than 10 hours a year.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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12-12-2013, 03:40 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
My mom taught me to read and very basic math before I even went to school. She gave me a head start, after that I fended for myself.

I was already reading books when I started grade school. I enjoyed it.

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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12-12-2013, 03:46 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
Yeah actually I probably align with Dom, by the time I got into school I was already pretty well learned compared to the curriculum. Completing school work never required extra help. I remember when I was younger my mom would buy me those interactive softback math workbooks and just give them to me to "play with" in the back seat when we went on long trips haha.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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12-12-2013, 04:14 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
LOL. I just found this article entitled "Are you Ready to Have Babies? Take The Test".

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/colin-falc...77307.html

If you haven't had children or are thinking about it read the above article. For those of you who already have children, be patient. You will also benefit from the article.

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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12-12-2013, 04:32 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 04:14 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  LOL. I just found this article entitled "Are you Ready to Have Babies? Take The Test".

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/colin-falc...77307.html

If you haven't had children or are thinking about it read the above article. For those of you who already have children, be patient. You will also benefit from the article.

Lol FUCK that I'm never having kids now. It was like watching the conjuring all over again lol
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