Not wanting kids.
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16-12-2013, 08:38 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
I never wanted kids. I hated them. Snot nosed, little drunken midgets.

Then, as I got older, I had the desire. It's overwhelming desire sometimes.

Adopting isn't cheap. We are going through the process now. It's very expensive. Fertility treatments aside, having sex is free.

Also - adopting isn't all love and roses. A friend of mine adopted an infant. Took her home from the hospital and everything. She felt like she was babysitting and had trouble bonding....then she felt guilty about her feelings. Plus, the birth mother can change her mind and take back the child (depending on your state, the time differs).

Then of course, you run the risk of the child having attachment disorder from not being held during the first few months of its life, or being born addicted to drugs.

My point: it's not as easy as 123 or without its own pitfalls.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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16-12-2013, 08:47 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(16-12-2013 08:38 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  Also - adopting isn't all love and roses. A friend of mine adopted an infant. Took her home from the hospital and everything. She felt like she was babysitting and had trouble bonding....then she felt guilty about her feelings.
More or less why I will never adopt personally.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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20-12-2013, 05:50 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
I've never had a desire to have children. Even as a little girl, I never played with "baby" type of dolls - instead, I dressed up my cat (as you can imagine, the cat was just overjoyed by this. LOL!) or I made music videos with my Barbies to the soundtrack of Xanadu. LOL!

I worked as a flight attendant for 6.5 years and used to get lectures from flight attendants who had children whenever I'd work a 1-day pairing (a shift where you're not overnighting anywhere - you leave in the morning and you're home in the evening). I was told that I shouldn't ask for 1-day pairings because it should be reserved for people with children - so because I didn't have children, I was somehow morally obligated to be on the road and away from home for 2-5 days so that people WITH children could do a day flight and be home with their family that evening.

The same mentality went for Christmas. I never liked working Christmas in aviation, because people are INSANE when they fly at Christmas - weather delays are often blamed on the flight crew (how did they find out we controlled the weather?! That was supposed to be top secret!!) and people would go out of their mind if we were unable to land at their destination due to snow. I worked one Christmas where we had to get a police presence in the boarding lounge because of a snow storm at our final destination on Christmas Day, and people went berserk! After that, I always bid to get Christmas off, but I never told anyone for fear I'd get a lecture because I "don't have kids."

My fiance is a pilot and often hears other pilots saying they didn't ask for Christmas off because they "don't have kids." He is home with me this Christmas and feels guilty he asked for Christmas off and got it this year, but I told him, "You're not any less a person just because you don't have children. You have the same choices and rights as someone with kids."

As for adoption, I would prefer to adopt than to have my own children (childbirth scares the hell outta me!). Smile I'm adopted myself, and though people can go on about the "issues" that come with adoption, there are potential issues with biological children as well (ie: bonding).

The way I see it - as long as you're understanding about your adopted child potentially wanting to find their birth parents AND you understand that your adopted child might have a different personality and skill set than you, then as far as I'm concerned, you're doing well. My adoptive parents just don't get that I'm not like them - I'm an artistic person who cares about social issues and loves to write, yet they still pressure me to "get a real job," to "just take care of your own" and to be like them - I think it's partly a result of their upbringing and a lack of empathy and understanding for others on their part.

That's just my two cents. Smile
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20-12-2013, 07:35 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
You know what's the hardest thing about this....finding a single woman who doesn't want kids Sadcryface2
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22-12-2013, 08:05 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(16-12-2013 03:35 AM)Juv Wrote:  
(15-12-2013 04:28 AM)Cephalotus Wrote:  But as someone ages, they learn more about the world and are therefor would make a better parent.
I think this is a fallacy.


Quote:Or at least I know a shit ton of my friends, family and coworkers who should have waited much longer before they started having kids.
You may not know this, though.

You'll have to go into a bit more detail than this. Drinking Beverage

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23-12-2013, 04:47 AM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(12-12-2013 01:30 PM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  We were a baby-making factory. I spent the 80s pregnant. I don't advise it. Seriously. Every time I turned around my Dr was saying "Yep - you're pregnant".
It's so unfair for women who desperately want to get pregnant and have trouble and then there's baby machines like me. Good Grief!
I wanted to be a surrogate but hubby said no. He feared I could never give them up and we'd end up with 12 kids +.

As for the kiddos - I used Bill Cosby lines on them - threatening them if they misbehaved:
"I'll make another one looks just like you. Makes no difference to me" [1]





[1] meant funny of course

Hahahah. My dad used to pull that line on me alllllll the time. One day, when I was about 10, he said to me, "you ever hear the saying 'I brought you into this world and I can take you out'?"

I looked at him square in the eye and asked "you ever hear of the Menendez brothers?"
He was so impressed with the quickness of it, he didn't even get mad!

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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23-12-2013, 09:29 AM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(20-12-2013 07:35 PM)MrKrispy601 Wrote:  You know what's the hardest thing about this....finding a single woman who doesn't want kids Sadcryface2

I was in my 30s when I finally found one. She brought up the topic shortly after we started dating and asked if I would be ok with it if she got sterilized. I think I fell in love with her right then and there.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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23-12-2013, 12:57 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(23-12-2013 04:47 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 01:30 PM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  As for the kiddos - I used Bill Cosby lines on them - threatening them if they misbehaved:
"I'll make another one looks just like you. Makes no difference to me"
Hahahah. My dad used to pull that line on me alllllll the time. One day, when I was about 10, he said to me, "you ever hear the saying 'I brought you into this world and I can take you out'?"
Haha, my dad used to say, "I'll make you wish you had never been born." But that was when he was angry, and he was using it as an actual threat... But in retrospect it's a funny thing to hear a dad say to his kids.Laugh out load

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23-12-2013, 01:02 PM
RE: Not wanting kids.
(23-12-2013 04:47 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(12-12-2013 01:30 PM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  We were a baby-making factory. I spent the 80s pregnant. I don't advise it. Seriously. Every time I turned around my Dr was saying "Yep - you're pregnant".
It's so unfair for women who desperately want to get pregnant and have trouble and then there's baby machines like me. Good Grief!
I wanted to be a surrogate but hubby said no. He feared I could never give them up and we'd end up with 12 kids +.

As for the kiddos - I used Bill Cosby lines on them - threatening them if they misbehaved:
"I'll make another one looks just like you. Makes no difference to me" [1]





[1] meant funny of course

Hahahah. My dad used to pull that line on me alllllll the time. One day, when I was about 10, he said to me, "you ever hear the saying 'I brought you into this world and I can take you out'?"

I looked at him square in the eye and asked "you ever hear of the Menendez brothers?"
He was so impressed with the quickness of it, he didn't even get mad!


Yeah - a lot of you guys = your parents and I were of the Bill Cosby generation. Good ol Cosby gave us some good laughs at parenthood. (maybe even helped save a few kids by helping parents keep a sense of humor)

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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