Nursing Homes
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26-12-2013, 11:17 AM
RE: Nursing Homes
Check the website I listed above - and no matter how sudden the onset, you will have some lucid time to act on decisions you have already made and prepared.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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26-12-2013, 12:09 PM
RE: Nursing Homes
(26-12-2013 11:17 AM)Dom Wrote:  Check the website I listed above - and no matter how sudden the onset, you will have some lucid time to act on decisions you have already made and prepared.

I fought (using a lawyer and my saved money) to keep my mom from being declared incompetent and able to make her own decisions for as long as possible....... (then her worst decision was to make my brother POA. He only wanted her money)
Yes, I hope to make my own decisions for as long as I can. Mom lived in the 50/50 spot for a couple of years. But when it claimed her mind she went down fast. Horrible disease and one I wish we could study with more diligence.

I thank you for the website. Have some preparing to do........ just in case. I have an appt with a lawyer after the 1st for a living will.

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26-12-2013, 12:28 PM
RE: Nursing Homes
(26-12-2013 12:09 PM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  
(26-12-2013 11:17 AM)Dom Wrote:  Check the website I listed above - and no matter how sudden the onset, you will have some lucid time to act on decisions you have already made and prepared.

I fought (using a lawyer and my saved money) to keep my mom from being declared incompetent and able to make her own decisions for as long as possible....... (then her worst decision was to make my brother POA. He only wanted her money)
Yes, I hope to make my own decisions for as long as I can. Mom lived in the 50/50 spot for a couple of years. But when it claimed her mind she went down fast. Horrible disease and one I wish we could study with more diligence.

I thank you for the website. Have some preparing to do........ just in case. I have an appt with a lawyer after the 1st for a living will.

Their counseling covers every possibility and is not necessarily suicide oriented. You can also type in where you live and get a complete list of things you want from the lawyer - or leave your number on their message tape and get a call back from someone who will walk you through the legal mumbo jumbo. They are a really great resource for anyone, regardless of what your plans are and when you will be ready to implement them. I highly recommend them, regardless of what your entire attitude towards this is. They help you with whatever YOU think is right. They don't have an agenda, except freedom of decision.

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26-12-2013, 02:11 PM
RE: Nursing Homes
(26-12-2013 08:22 AM)Chas Wrote:  I might try the Go Bag, but here's my back up.
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Feels ... I dunno ... messy. I guess if you shot yourself in the heart like Junior Seau did it might minimize the mess. Also a nitrogen Go Bag can't be detected as a suicide on autopsy (assuming you got someone to take the bag and tank away after your expiration date) which could be important for life insurance purposes.

And this grounding is for you Junior. You sure left one hellluva dangling reference. RIP.





I never made a deal with the Devil
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Cursed my fellow man…
Turn from the Bible with a bottle in my hand…
My only hope for forgiveness when the good Lord calls my name…
Is that he knows who I am…
and Who I Ain’t
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When I think about the man I was, it brings the man I am, to tears…
Cause, I’ve broke the hearts of Angels…
Cursed my fellow man…
Turn from the Bible with a bottle in my hand…
My only hope for forgiveness when the good Lord calls my name…
Is that he knows who I am…
and Who I Ain’t…
Cause, I’ve broke the hearts of Angels…
Cursed my fellow man…
Turn from the Bible with a bottle in my hand…
My only hope for forgiveness when the good Lord calls my name…
Is that he knows who I am…
and Who I Ain’t
Who I Ain’t… Right?!

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26-12-2013, 02:41 PM
RE: Nursing Homes
Shooting in the heart can end badly. Go bags are best.

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27-12-2013, 01:25 AM
RE: Nursing Homes
(26-12-2013 02:18 AM)Caveman Wrote:  Are you talking specifically about nursinghomes? Or also retirementhomes? Because if so:
You think no one that is in a home wants to be there?
Some just have problems taking care of themselves and need a hand.
Just because you had a few bad experiences doesn't mean homes don't bring joy to the lives of others and their families.
My mother-in-law has gone through a series of four homes, each with an increasing level of care. The first was simply an assisted living facility, not a bad place to live. She had a nice little apartment. Each facility has reached a point where they say they can no longer give her the care she needs. Her current situation is a single room with a bathroom. She requires assistance to get out of bed.

We visited her Christmas day. In one room a person was sobbing very loudly. At first I assumed that someone had died and that the sobbing was from a bereaved relative but it became the apparent that the crying was from the patient. After a while the sobs turned to cries of "Somebody please help me." The cries were ignored.

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28-12-2013, 11:54 AM
RE: Nursing Homes
Wow does this hit a chord with me. My paternal grandfather was severely demented when he died. My father is currently suffering from dementia to the point that many days he does not know who he is, or who I am, or where he is.

I do not ever intend to get like either one of them. I am terrified that the dementia will hit me without me knowing it. If my father was ever aware of his symptoms he never made any mention of it.

My plan right now is very much like Chas'. I am currently 45, and I figure I've got maybe 15 more years or so to slog through before I go that route. Hopefully I will get lucky and get taken out by natural causes before then.

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29-12-2013, 08:49 PM
RE: Nursing Homes
We just laid my Father to rest today. He had been in a nursing home since my Mother passed away this past April.He had a directive of DNR. He also had a directive of no tubes tubes and IV. only for antibiotic. Sunday a week ago, after being in the hospital since the Tuesday before for phenomena, it was obvious he was not responding to the antibiotics and we changed the directive to care and comfort only and moved moved him to inpatient hospice (which happens to be located on a wing of the hospital he was in). This year, I watched both my Mom and Dad, in the same hospice take about 4 days to naturally expire. The people there were good. It's like they knew when to give them morphine to ease the pain by looking at their faces. They also knew when death was close. I will tell, the last few days are hard. This was more so with my Dad because with my Mother it was a heart issue, but with my Dad, his breathing was so shallow and irregular. At night I would fall asleep and wake up looking at his chest going "rise" hoping had not stopped breathing while I was asleep.
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29-12-2013, 10:26 PM
RE: Nursing Homes
Three years ago my siblings and I made the decision to move our mother into an assisted living facility, and for me to have POA, medical and financial. Since then, I've lived sort of a double life - mine and hers. I am responsible for every aspect of her life. Recently, she fell and broke her back. The facility she was living in wasn't able to give her the attention I felt she needed, not without a lot of extra $$. I looked into nursing homes and adult family homes (some of them are fabulous-if you can afford it). I finally made the decision to move her in with us. We can afford to support her, so meanwhile her social security can be stashed away for the future. I know there will come a time when physically I won't be able to care for her. Having her here has changed the demands on my time, but I feel I've made the right decision. It's the least I can do for her. We just celebrated her 90th birthday. She has lived alone since my father died 30 years ago. The decisions we make are guided by individual circumstances.
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29-12-2013, 10:43 PM
RE: Nursing Homes
(29-12-2013 08:49 PM)timotyhmit Wrote:  We just laid my Father to rest today. He had been in a nursing home since my Mother passed away this past April.He had a directive of DNR. He also had a directive of no tubes tubes and IV. only for antibiotic. Sunday a week ago, after being in the hospital since the Tuesday before for phenomena, it was obvious he was not responding to the antibiotics and we changed the directive to care and comfort only and moved moved him to inpatient hospice (which happens to be located on a wing of the hospital he was in). This year, I watched both my Mom and Dad, in the same hospice take about 4 days to naturally expire. The people there were good. It's like they knew when to give them morphine to ease the pain by looking at their faces. They also knew when death was close. I will tell, the last few days are hard. This was more so with my Dad because with my Mother it was a heart issue, but with my Dad, his breathing was so shallow and irregular. At night I would fall asleep and wake up looking at his chest going "rise" hoping had not stopped breathing while I was asleep.

Yes, I agree. The last few days are very hard. When they are so ill, you want them to stay (because you love them) but also want them to go (to minimise suffering).
I'm glad you only go through losing your parents once in your life Sad
My condolences.

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