Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
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05-06-2013, 09:44 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
When my wife and I were newlyweds, we lived in a rented room. Our television was on top of an armoire so the viewing angle from the bed was best if you were laying down.

One evening I got out of the shower and hopped into bed to watch tv while she layed next to me and read. I'm pretty much always naked and this was no exception. So I reach over and grab a smoke and the box of matches and I went to strike the match, drawing it away from my face toward my feet.

When I struck the match, the sulfur came off the end of it and landed right at the base of Mini-me's head... and kept on burning. He was just laying there minding his own business, waiting for some action and all of a sudden, he's on fire.

I thought I was going to have to take my wife to the hospital from laughing too hard and too long....

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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05-06-2013, 09:46 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
(05-06-2013 09:44 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  When my wife and I were newlyweds, we lived in a rented room. Our television was on top of an armoire so the viewing angle from the bed was best if you were laying down.

One evening I got out of the shower and hopped into bed to watch tv while she layed next to me and read. I'm pretty much always naked and this was no exception. So I reach over and grab a smoke and the box of matches and I went to strike the match, drawing it away from my face toward my feet.

When I struck the match, the sulfur came off the end of it and landed right at the base of Mini-me's head... and kept on burning. He was just laying there minding his own business, waiting for some action and all of a sudden, he's on fire.

I thought I was going to have to take my wife to the hospital from laughing too hard and too long....

Now that's what I call GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

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05-06-2013, 09:54 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
(05-06-2013 09:46 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  
(05-06-2013 09:44 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  When my wife and I were newlyweds, we lived in a rented room. Our television was on top of an armoire so the viewing angle from the bed was best if you were laying down.

One evening I got out of the shower and hopped into bed to watch tv while she layed next to me and read. I'm pretty much always naked and this was no exception. So I reach over and grab a smoke and the box of matches and I went to strike the match, drawing it away from my face toward my feet.

When I struck the match, the sulfur came off the end of it and landed right at the base of Mini-me's head... and kept on burning. He was just laying there minding his own business, waiting for some action and all of a sudden, he's on fire.

I thought I was going to have to take my wife to the hospital from laughing too hard and too long....

Now that's what I call GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

again....laughing with tears, can't breathe..... Smokin


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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05-06-2013, 10:22 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
(05-06-2013 09:54 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(05-06-2013 09:46 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  Now that's what I call GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

again....laughing with tears, can't breathe..... Smokin

My little buddy has led a hard life, so to speak.

Most of you women have probably either been to or heard of a toy party, which is like a Tupperware party except with fun stuff. Well, my wife and I decided to get in the toy business and we hosted a mixed gender toy party... cause that's what swingers do.

During the party, my wife and a girlfriend were showing off the different toys and when they came upon a penis pump, I volunteered as a test model. Mind you, I'd never worn one if these things, there was alcohol involved and things did work out just right.

There was a rubber collar on the base of the thing that wasn't too awfully tight when they put me. Once on, her friend pumped it up to what I'm sure was the absolute highest possible amount of suction known to mankind and then everyone started laughing and joking about the thing. After a few minutes I was like... can we take this thing off me?

Well, you're supposed to lube that rubber collar. If you don't, and a half drunk woman decides to give it a good solid yank.... road rash on Mini-me.

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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05-06-2013, 10:37 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
your poor mini-me has lead a hard, rough life. Maybe a stint as a 'stand-up' comic is in its future?


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05-06-2013, 10:43 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
(05-06-2013 10:37 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  your poor mini-me has lead a hard, rough life. Maybe a stint as a 'stand-up' comic is in its future?

Nah... too old now. He's not able to stand up like he used to. Sadcryface2

Although I will say, he's made a lot of women laugh over the years. Sadcryface

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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05-06-2013, 11:33 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
(05-06-2013 09:04 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  Are you sure that is a pathway you wish to go down? It is a dark and dangerous one.

First test: Your reaction to this picture

But I think you're perfect. Blush

It. Is. Phenomenal. Perfect. Cats are radical.
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06-06-2013, 06:42 AM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
(05-06-2013 11:33 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(05-06-2013 09:04 PM)Tartarus Sauce Wrote:  Are you sure that is a pathway you wish to go down? It is a dark and dangerous one.

First test: Your reaction to this picture

But I think you're perfect. Blush

It. Is. Phenomenal. Perfect. Cats are radical.

You have passed the test. Big Grin

Bub says congratulations!

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06-06-2013, 03:48 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
Lying in my sleeping bag one starry night a few years ago, listening to a confused cow getting chased by a troop of baboons, and hoping like hell it wasn't gonna come charging outta the bushes and step on me...
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06-06-2013, 07:57 PM
RE: Odd bizarre things that have happened to you
(06-06-2013 03:48 PM)morondog Wrote:  Lying in my sleeping bag one starry night a few years ago, listening to a confused cow getting chased by a troop of baboons, and hoping like hell it wasn't gonna come charging outta the bushes and step on me...

You're a braver man than me if you stayed in that fart sack the whole time. I'd have been outa there watching... and probably pissing myself. Sadcryface

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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