Offensive Joke Thread
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30-04-2016, 05:04 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
[Image: BaronVonBigmeat3.jpg]

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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13-05-2016, 04:15 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”
The Princess said, “Hell No!!!”

So, the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to strip bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work.

All his friends and family thought he was frigging cool as hell, he had tons of money in the bank and he left the toilet seat up.

The End
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13-05-2016, 11:55 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(13-12-2015 07:48 PM)DerFish Wrote:  
(05-06-2014 05:40 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

A. So she can moan with the other

Ya know why women have two sets of lips? So they can piss and moan at the same time!

My phone rang at about 11 one night. I'm half asleep and mumble "hello?"
"why do women have two sets of lips"
Uh, Mom?
"so they can piss and moan at the same time"
Click. She hangs up.
Apparently she heard it at bingo and just had to tell me.
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14-05-2016, 04:55 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
my kinda mom..

Big Grin

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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14-05-2016, 06:44 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A new mother was showing her newborn to the family for the first time, everybody was talking about how cute and precious the baby was etc...

When she got around to showing the baby to her mother-in-law, the mother-in-law said "I don't mean to sound rude but he doesn't look anything like my son."

The new mother lifts her skirt and says "I don't want to be rude either but this is a pussy, not a fucking photocopier!"

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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14-05-2016, 09:10 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
In the interest of equal opportunity,

Once upon a time Prince Charming asked a beautiful young lady to be his Princess. She said “Hell no!”

So then the young lady went on to start her own company, was a Domina, had a slew of male suitors, hired a house-boy and chauffeur, vacationed in Tahiti, never had to endure pregnancy, never watched TV, wore what she liked, had a pink Rolls, never enhanced anything and made the cover of Fortune.

Everyone thought she was super cool and envied her independence and she had the toilet seat glued down.
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15-05-2016, 06:27 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Santa comes to the home for handicapped people.
He tells them: "Everybody who can tell me a big poem gets a big present and everybody who can tell me a small poem gets a small present."
The first handicapped person comes to the front and starts: "Hwwww mmmaaalala wwwwhaaaa"
Santa answers: "And everybody, who is making fun of me, gets nothing!"

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
- Wotsefack?! -
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05-06-2016, 10:06 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
How do you say homeless in Hebrew ?

Palestinian.

. . . ................................ ......................................... . [Image: 2dsmnow.gif] Eat at Joe's
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05-06-2016, 01:15 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Then there was the 10 metre sprint at the Paralympics...

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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08-06-2016, 02:52 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Why do women wear make up and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they stink.

Laugh out load

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