Offensive Joke Thread
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19-08-2016, 04:26 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
[Image: 1471483612120.jpeg]

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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20-08-2016, 08:32 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, ‘Watch that wall!’
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21-08-2016, 06:27 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
What’s the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic?


—Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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21-08-2016, 11:54 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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21-08-2016, 05:06 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Why do many men piss in the shower?

Because pissing in the bathtub is disgusting!

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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21-08-2016, 06:43 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
I found a nice one. Hehehe...

Quote:A married couple is lying in bed one night.

The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits.

He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes?

His wife replies, You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay.

The husband says, No, not at all.

His wife asks angrily, Well, what the hell were you doing then?

I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.

We have to remember that what we observe is not nature herself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning ~ Werner Heisenberg
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29-08-2016, 12:13 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
An ex-girlfriend of mine once went on a zero-calorie diet. After about three weeks, she had lost a lot of weight, and never once gained another ounce.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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03-09-2016, 11:53 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Charlie Hebdo strikes again.

[Image: CrV8MK8UIAIHRIA.jpg]

Translation:

Earthquake italian style
Penne with tomato sauce
Gratine (crusted) penne
Lasagne
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07-09-2016, 06:07 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
[Image: MenuBoard.jpg]

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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07-09-2016, 06:33 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(03-09-2016 11:53 AM)Naridar Wrote:  Charlie Hebdo strikes again.

[Image: CrV8MK8UIAIHRIA.jpg]

Translation:

Earthquake italian style
Penne with tomato sauce
Gratine (crusted) penne
Lasagne

When I was a kid, I read MAD magazine.
When I got older, I read National Lampoon.

Charlie Hebdo falls in between them, it seems. But they really do have some topicality and wicked wit.
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