Offensive Joke Thread
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07-09-2016, 06:36 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(07-09-2016 06:07 PM)Old Man Marsh Wrote:  [Image: MenuBoard.jpg]

Dafuq is "Helicopter Pie"? I thought it was "Helicopter Chops".
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11-09-2016, 12:20 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread



Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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12-09-2016, 08:48 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
An street artist was asked to decorate a store wall with a piece on a theme from American history. He was given free choice of subject.

He worked away for a whole day behind a screen then announced his work was finished. All the store brass and their significant others (this was a really modern store you understand) gathered for the unveiling.

The screen was pulled away to reveal... A picture of a turd with a gold ring above it, two vertical silver bars and a hill covered in Red Indians and their squaws going at it like bunnies.

"What the he'll is this supposed to be?" asked the store boss.

The artist replied, "It's an allegory of Custer's last words, 'Holy shit, lieutenant, look at all those fucking Indians!' ".

Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
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12-09-2016, 08:20 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(21-07-2016 09:17 AM)SYZ Wrote:  
[Image: potato_o_967545.jpg]

Made by the same people whose favorite color is ham.
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26-09-2016, 05:50 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
RECTUM STRETCHER

While she was ‘flying’ down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s your hurry?”

To which she replied, “I’m late for work.”

“Oh yeah,” said the cop, “what do you do?”

“I’m a rectum stretcher” she responded.

The cop stammered, “A what”????

“A rectum stretcher!”

“And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”

“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet”

“And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?” he asked

“You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge”

Traffic Ticket $398.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop’s Face….... PRICELESS

For everything else, there’s MasterCard
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28-09-2016, 04:03 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
How long does an owl live?

Six and a half books.
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09-10-2016, 01:31 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
[Image: qdjIjhl.jpg]
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22-11-2016, 01:45 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
In what way is a woman like a vacuum cleaner?


When it stops sucking it's time to change the old bag.

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
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22-11-2016, 05:24 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley???

On a Harley, the dirtbag is on top.....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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22-11-2016, 07:08 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
How did the leper hockey game end?

There was a face off in the corner.

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