Offensive Joke Thread
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28-10-2013, 08:12 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
(28-10-2013 08:02 PM)sporehux Wrote:  Knock knock
Whos there
God
Fuck off Cunt

Teehehehe you reminded me of these!

[Image: c5a6cd8520c8fec7aa04583d65aabc9f_zps070e5404.jpg]
[Image: 8f149e410a60ee106e8c16dc4dbbc63c_zps02c89d4a.jpg]
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29-10-2013, 04:34 PM (This post was last modified: 29-10-2013 04:39 PM by Can_of_Beans.)
RE: The offensive jokes thread
I realize this joke is a little dated, but that shouldn't make it any less offensive. Angel

Farrah Fawcett died and when she got heaven St. Peter met her at the gates and asked if there was anything she'd like him to do for those still living on earth. She said "I just wish children everywhere could feel safe and happy."

A few hours later Michael Jackson died.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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29-10-2013, 04:38 PM (This post was last modified: 29-10-2013 10:22 PM by Can_of_Beans.)
RE: The offensive jokes thread
I just read in the news that the guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week.

Apparently it took two hours to get him in the coffin because they put his right hand in, took his right hand out, put his left hand in, took his left hand out...

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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30-10-2013, 08:02 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
A guy walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting in there with a miniature guy playing a little piano. He says "That's amazing! Where you'd get something like this?" His friend explains that he found this magic bottle with a genie in it that granted him one wish. So he grabbed the bottle and the genie popped out and said "I am the genie of the lamp and will grant you one wish." He thought for a minute and asked for one million bucks. The genie said "Done!" and disappears. A few seconds later one million ducks walk into the bar. He yells at his friend "Your genie sucks. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" His friend says "I know, do you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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30-10-2013, 10:33 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
What's the first thing a redneck says after losing her virginity?
Get off me dad, you're crushing my cigarettes!

How do you starve a black man?
Hide his food stamps under his work boots.

What do you call a Hispanic midget?
A spec!

Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?
They didn't invent spray paint until 1949.

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?
Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What do you call a cross between an Italian and a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla.

How do you kill 100 Ethiopians?
Throw a biscuit off a cliff.

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire?
Drowns.

Some are pretty funny!

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30-10-2013, 10:48 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Holy racism that was funny.

Santa may only come once a year, but when he does he fills stockings.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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30-10-2013, 10:52 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
A zebra dies and goes to heaven and is met at the pearly gates by St. Peter.

"Welcome to heaven", St. Peter says, "any questions before you enter?"

"Well, there is one thing that's always bothered me. Am I white with black stripes, or black with white stripes?", asked the zebra.

St. Peter replied, "Hmmm, that's a good one for the boss. I'm sure he'll be able to answer it for you."

So the zebra is enjoying heaven for a couple of days when god comes walking up to him and asks how he's liking heaven, and if he has any questions. The zebra repeats his question to god, "Am I white with black stripes, or black with white stripes?".

God answers, "My child, you are what you are."

A little perplexed, the zebra accepts the answer and goes on about his heavenly business.

A couple of days later he runs into St. Peter again who asks him, "Did you ever get your question answered?"

"Yes, he told me, you are what you are, but I'm not sure what that means," replied the zebra.

With a chuckle, St. Peter says, "You're white with black stripes".

"How do you get that?" asked the zebra, confused.

"Well", replies St. Peter, "if you were black with white stripes he would have said, you is what you is."

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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01-11-2013, 12:41 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?

A: You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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01-11-2013, 06:21 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
What do Washing machines and Blondes have in common ?

The both leak when their fucked

(you said offensive, not funny )

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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02-11-2013, 05:26 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q: A gay couple and lesbian couple are in a race across the USA. Who wins?

A: The lesbian couple wins because they did 69 the whole way while the gay couple was still home packing their shit.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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