Offensive Joke Thread
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03-11-2013, 03:11 PM (This post was last modified: 03-11-2013 03:22 PM by Can_of_Beans.)
RE: The offensive jokes thread
A group of guys at a country club were about to start a round of golf when their fourth cancelled. Looking around they noticed someone at the bar and asked if he'd care to join them. When he agreed, they warned him that they play for money, and he said that wouldn't be a problem.

Eighteen holes later the new guy crushed everyone. They asked to play again next week so they'd have a chance to win their money back. He said "Sure, but I might be ten to fifteen minutes late."

Next week, he beats them all soundly again, this time playing with the opposite hand. They're just amazed he can play so well either right or left handed and asked how he decides which way to play.

He said "It's easy. If my wife is laying on her right side when I get up, I play right handed. If she's laying on her left side, then I play left handed." "What if she's laying on her back?" "That's when I'm ten to fifteen minutes late." Wink

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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06-11-2013, 11:12 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Have you heard about the dyslexic bank robber? He screamed: "Air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up!"

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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06-11-2013, 11:28 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Confucius say woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary.

If something can be destroyed by the truth, it might be worth destroying.

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07-11-2013, 05:57 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
What does D.N.A. stand for

National Dyslexic Association.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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07-11-2013, 06:53 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
(07-11-2013 05:57 PM)sporehux Wrote:  What does D.N.A. stand for

National Dyslexic Association.

I actually read that as "What does N.D.A stand for"

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
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07-11-2013, 07:01 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
(07-11-2013 06:53 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(07-11-2013 05:57 PM)sporehux Wrote:  What does D.N.A. stand for

National Dyslexic Association.

I actually read that as "What does N.D.A stand for"

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

Just don't do anything drastic like throwing yourself behind a bus.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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07-11-2013, 07:08 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
(07-11-2013 07:01 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  
(07-11-2013 06:53 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  I actually read that as "What does N.D.A stand for"

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

Just don't do anything drastic like throwing yourself behind a bus.

Or under a sub. Consider

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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08-11-2013, 06:42 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?

A. They're hiring.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

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08-11-2013, 06:50 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q: What is this?

[Image: th_35730_images_122_908lo.jpg]

A: An Ethiopian family portrait.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

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09-11-2013, 10:33 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q: What has six breasts and four teeth?

A: Three girls from Alabama.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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