Offensive Joke Thread
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 2 Votes - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
09-11-2013, 10:57 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
"Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
09-11-2013, 02:17 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
After dealing with an irritating customer and telling her off, I was standing in the office with my pants down and my dick in a jar of peanut butter when my boss came in and shouted "What the hell are you doing!" to which I replied, "I'm fucking nuts!"

Honesty is the best policy.

If something can be destroyed by the truth, it might be worth destroying.

[Image: ZcC2kGl.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Elesjei's post
09-11-2013, 11:12 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q: What's the hardest part about cooking vegetables in the microwave?

A: Getting the wheelchair though the door.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
10-11-2013, 04:55 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
How do yo make a cat Woof:
Soak it in gasoline and light it.

How do you make a dog Meow:
Freeze it and put it through a band saw.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like sporehux's post
10-11-2013, 10:44 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have a Summer Olympics team?

A: Because everyone who can run, swim, or jump is already in the US.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
10-11-2013, 11:03 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread



Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like sporehux's post
10-11-2013, 12:01 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
This summer I was in Spain, in some town were the world championship of fireworks was held.

Our guide says "Asian teams put on best displays, they always win"

I'm thinking "Yeah....only because NASA's not competing"

[Image: 2rn7xiq.jpg]

. . . ................................ ......................................... . [Image: 2dsmnow.gif] Eat at Joe's
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Slowminded's post
10-11-2013, 12:05 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
NASA = need another seven astronauts.
Coke sponsored NASA because they couldn't get 7up

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like sporehux's post
10-11-2013, 12:51 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
I got these from Jimmy Carr recalling another famous comedian's catalogue of "mother in law jokes" ... I can't remember the comedian he was talking about but he must have been great. Sadly, I can relate but still... I fucking laugh my ass off.

A man and woman were walking down the street when they saw the woman's Mother being beaten up by six men.
The woman said to her husband, "Aren't you going to help?"
The man says, "Oh, I think six should be enough."

Tongue

When our Mother in law came to visit.... all the mice threw themselves on the traps.

Big Grin

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like kim's post
10-11-2013, 01:23 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
(09-11-2013 10:57 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  "Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

I'm really hoping my school will let me use this as my senior quote in the year book. Big Grin
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Ferdinand's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: