Offensive Joke Thread
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13-11-2013, 07:30 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
You know the saying. Americans only know what to laugh at when there is an applause sign.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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13-11-2013, 08:30 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
But i in 'murican

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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13-11-2013, 01:50 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
(13-11-2013 07:30 AM)sporehux Wrote:  You know the saying. Americans only know what to laugh at when there is an applause sign.

Careful...we've got drones in the air and our Nobel Peace Prize winning president isn't afraid to use them. Smile

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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13-11-2013, 02:26 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Does anyone know some good down syndrome jokes? All the ones I've found so far are retarded.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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13-11-2013, 02:29 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
(11-11-2013 08:30 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(10-11-2013 12:51 PM)kim Wrote:  I got these from Jimmy Carr recalling another famous comedian's catalogue of "mother in law jokes" ... I can't remember the comedian he was talking about but he must have been great.
...
Based on no research whatsoever, I would guess it was either Bernard Manning or Les Dawson.
Yes! Les Dawson; genius. Big Grin
Not just the mother in law jokes - his word play was fantastic - and of course, there's the delivery.

Here's a few more I found that made me giggle:

I wouldn't say the room was small but when I talked to myself, one of us had to step outside to reply.
**
I was lying in bed the other morning playing a lament on my euphonium when the wife, who was prising her teeth out of an apple, looked back at me and said softly, 'Joey.' She calls me Joey because she always wanted a budgie. She said, 'I'm homesick.' I said, 'But precious one, this is your home.' She said, 'I know, and I'm sick of it.'
**
The wife's Mother said, "When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave." I said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea."
**
In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this lavatory.


Tongue

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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13-11-2013, 05:10 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
A friend of mine teaches preschool in Detroit. When she asked the class "What does a pig say?" a little boy jumped up and yelled "Hands in the air motherfucker!"

Apparently there aren't many farms in Detroit...

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

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13-11-2013, 08:51 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
"dad, I lost my virginity last night"
'Wow congratulations son, sit down and tell me about it"
"I can't, my ass is too sore"

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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14-11-2013, 10:12 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q: What's the first thing a sorority girl does when she gets up in the morning?

A: Introduces herself and goes home.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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14-11-2013, 11:59 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Nazi gets pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane.
WTF Officer I have 7 Jews in the ashtray.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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14-11-2013, 03:40 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
A catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.

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