Offensive Joke Thread
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15-11-2013, 03:03 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Man steps in dog poo running for a Bus, while trying to discretely scrape it off his shoe, the woman behind him says.
"I just did that', he looks at his shoe and back to her and say " you fucking disgusting bitch"

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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15-11-2013, 04:13 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
What to say during sex:
  • ooh
  • ee
  • ooh ahh ahh
  • ting
  • tang
  • walla walla bing bang



(fucking crying)
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15-11-2013, 04:22 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
(15-11-2013 04:13 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  What to say during sex:
  • ooh
  • ee
  • ooh ahh ahh
  • ting
  • tang
  • walla walla bing bang



(fucking crying)

Thanks! It's nice to have options now that "oh god!" is off the menu. Thumbsup

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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15-11-2013, 04:23 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Speaking of sex...

Q: Why are Calvinists opposed to having sex standing up?

A: They're afraid it will lead to dancing.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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15-11-2013, 09:06 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.

"Yes, how can I help?" asks St Peter.

"I'm here to meet Jesus," says the Indian man.

St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, "Jesus, your cab is here!"

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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16-11-2013, 09:32 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Four nuns are standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her. He then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said. Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. "Why did you push ahead in line?" asked Peter. "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!" replied the nun.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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16-11-2013, 04:27 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash.

The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them"

The lawyer says "Screw the Boy Scouts!"

The priest asks, "Do we have time?"

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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16-11-2013, 04:35 PM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
What's the difference between an onion, & a hooker?

You don't cry when you cut up the hooker Huh
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16-11-2013, 06:18 PM (This post was last modified: 16-11-2013 06:38 PM by Revenant77x.)
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Edit: Removed
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17-11-2013, 09:59 AM
RE: The offensive jokes thread
Q: What's the difference between a feminist and an elephant?

A: About 40 pounds.

Q: How do you even it out?

A: Feed the elephant.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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