Offensive Joke Thread
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23-12-2013, 06:33 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(23-12-2013 05:51 AM)DemonicLemon Wrote:  My girlfriend was interested in banging me like they do in Hentai.

That is until she woke up in a dumpster without her limbs.

Well if you had of completed the night with impaling skinning and spit roasting she wouldn't have had to wakeup.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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23-12-2013, 03:52 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
[Image: 8a6bb7d81bd27d6f7f7bdf96d7b4c0.jpg]

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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23-12-2013, 07:01 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Q. How many men does it take to open a can of beer?

A. None. The beer should already be open when she brings it.

And I told him "that's crazy..." Unsure
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23-12-2013, 07:07 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Q. Why do they use Mexicans instead of rats for laboratory experiments now?

A. Because Mexicans breed faster and you don't get so attached to them.

And I told him "that's crazy..." Unsure
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23-12-2013, 07:09 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Q. What do you call a black man flying an airplane?

A. The pilot, you fucking racist.

And I told him "that's crazy..." Unsure
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25-12-2013, 08:27 PM (This post was last modified: 25-12-2013 10:01 PM by cheapthrillseaker.)
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Okay, this one was told to me by an ex who decided to voluntarily try Anger Management for Men. They're opening a new line of fragrance in the fall. This was a joke that was genuinely laughed at with mirth by men who beat their wives and were court ordered to attend.

"What do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. She's been told already."

[Image: 3d366d5c-72a0-4228-b835-f404c2970188_zps...1381867723]
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25-12-2013, 10:19 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Let's see . . .

What do the tooth fairy and an intelligent Mexican have in common? Neither of them exist.

That's all I've got right now.
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26-12-2013, 07:59 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
What do you do after licking a smooth pussy?

Put back the diaper.
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26-12-2013, 09:28 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
THE LEGEND OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE ANGEL

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.

Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had worked making toys, and were threatening to go on strike. The reindeer had been drinking eggnog all afternoon. To make matters worse, a few of the other elves had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree.

Santa was furious. "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours, and all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are walking out, and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid little angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

Just then, the little angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree. The angel said, "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick this?"

And thus the tradition of angels atop the Christmas trees came to pass...

Angel

And I told him "that's crazy..." Unsure
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26-12-2013, 10:29 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(26-12-2013 09:28 AM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  ...
and had crashed it into a tree.
...

Apologies that there is nothing offensive about this next bit but this line reminded me of my wittier younger brother's humour today before and during my annual family Skype chat today.

Before the call he sms'd to ask if I'd be available in 12 hours.

I said "sure. text me loudly in case I'm asleep".
Split second later response: "OK. I'll use CAPS"

During the call he calmly described his recent car crash into an uninsured tree.

I think it was inappropriate to laugh but I couldn't help myself.

Big Grin

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