Offensive Joke Thread
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17-05-2014, 07:06 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A man and his wife are in a serious car crash. The man escapes with only minor injuries, but the wife suffers severe head injuries and is in a coma. Ever dedicated, the man visits daily playing her favorite music, holding her hand, talking to her, reading her favorite books. Despite his best efforts, nothing works. The man pulls the doctor aside one day and asks "Doctor, please there must be something else I can do to help her. Maybe a clinical trial? An alternative treatment? I'll try anything" The doctor hesitates for a bit, then says "Well, I did read an interesting article recently that indicated oral sex might stimulate a comatose person enough to bring them around, but that was just one case study. It proves nothing" "Well, I'd like to try", replied the man.

So the doctor ushers the nurses out of the room, and pulls the curtain, giving the man privacy. A few minutes later, the woman's alarms start going off. The doctor runs into the room to find the woman in full arrest. He runs a code, and they manage to get her back. After the excitement dies down, the doctor looks at the man and asks "What the HELL happened in there?" The man replies "I have no idea. I guess she choked"
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18-05-2014, 05:49 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Fat girls are like mopeds.

Fun to ride, just don't let your friends catch you on one.

------------

Life is like a box of chocolates.

It doesn't last as long for fat people.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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19-05-2014, 08:01 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(17-05-2014 03:14 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  What do you call someone with down syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato

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[Image: cannibalism_fb_1154971.jpg]

I'm in tears I'm laughing so hard Laugh out load Weeping Laugh out load

Atir aissom atir imon
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19-05-2014, 08:06 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(11-05-2014 04:52 PM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection?
Crackers with cheese.

People are like crayons.
No one likes the white ones.

First decent white jokes I've heard, I tip my hat to you sir.

Atir aissom atir imon
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19-05-2014, 01:45 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
- How do you stop the black kid hanging out in your front yard?
- Cut him down

And the classic:

Police report from a crime scene in Missisippi:
African American male hanged from neck to a tree, hands tied behind back and multiple gunshot wounds in chest , hands, legs and head. Clear case of suicide, no further investigation needed.
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20-05-2014, 10:39 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
What's worse than stubbing your toe?

Being raped.

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20-05-2014, 10:41 AM (This post was last modified: 20-05-2014 10:45 AM by Alex_Leonardo.)
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(20-05-2014 10:39 AM)NL Atheist Wrote:  What's worse than stubbing your toe?

Being raped.

What's worse than being raped?

Being gang raped wile thrown out of a helicopter over the Macy's day pirate.
Actually, apparently this is worse than being threatened to be raped:
Have a smart intelligent skinny handsome atheist man figure out the holes your feminazi crap. (According to one very popular feminist on the internet.0


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20-05-2014, 10:44 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(20-05-2014 10:41 AM)Alex_Leonardo Wrote:  
(20-05-2014 10:39 AM)NL Atheist Wrote:  What's worse than stubbing your toe?

Being raped.

What's worse than being raped?

Being gang raped wile thrown out of a helicopter over the Macy's day pirate.
Actually this is worse than being raped:
Have a smart intelligent skinny handsome atheist man figure out the holes your feminazi crap. (According to one very popular feminist on the internet.

You just verbally raped me you scum.

[Image: godtroll.php]
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20-05-2014, 05:01 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star."

Tall, handsome, and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked,
"What's your name?"


The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but In order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to
change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my
grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years...you will NEVER go far in Hollywood
with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not
be able to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together," the guy said and he left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER......The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a
check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the
letter enclosed...

Dear Sir,

Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood, you told me I needed
to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused.

You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your
office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much
pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing
my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.
Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke
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20-05-2014, 05:22 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Wonder Woman is lying nude on a bench when Superman flies over and spots her. Overcome with desire, he swoops down on top of her, pumps a few times, and flies off. Wonder Woman says "What the hell was that?". The Invisible Man sits up and says "I don't know, but my ass sure hurts!"

_____________________________________________

What's long and black?


The unemployment line
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