Offensive Joke Thread
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01-02-2015, 04:39 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard – after that he went downhill very quickly.

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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01-02-2015, 08:31 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(01-02-2015 01:43 AM)Vosur Wrote:  A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

I liked most of the jokes in the post but that was the only only one the actually made me laugh. I hadn't realized I was that big a geek until just now...
Weeping

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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01-02-2015, 09:04 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
[Image: dff.jpg]

If we came from dust, then why is there still dust?
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01-02-2015, 09:32 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it.

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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01-02-2015, 12:44 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Bill Cosby loves pudding...

[Image: 56388054.jpg]

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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01-02-2015, 02:37 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
So...

A young man goes to his girlfriend's family house to meet the relatives for the first time. He's introduced to everyone, including the family dog and then asked to sit with them, opposite grumpy old grandad in the big wing chair in the corner.

The family dog lays himself down under his chair as his girlfriend's mum serves tea.

Five minutes in, he's still very nervous and battling against a nervous attack of wind. He's in pain, but doesn't want to let one slip in front of the family.

All of a sudden, a fart escapes, and loudly too. He cringes, waiting for the embarrassing comments.

Grandad says: "Rover, get out from under that chair now!"

The young man thinks, "oh great, he thinks the dog did it!" After all, the dog is very old. Relieved and newly emboldened, he squeaks another fart out.

Grandad says: "Rover, I told you to get out from under that chair NOW!"

The young man has one last one left, so he really pushes down and out comes this enormous long rubbery fart.

Grandad says: "Rover, fer chrissakes get out from under that chair before that boy shits on your head!"

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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01-02-2015, 05:29 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
I heard a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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01-02-2015, 05:44 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Once you go black, you...
are a single mother.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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01-02-2015, 05:48 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(01-02-2015 05:29 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  I heard a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long.

I had to laugh. Laugh out load
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01-02-2015, 06:21 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
[Image: sword-christmas-gift-that-will-be-an-imp...lesson.jpg]
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