Offensive Joke Thread
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29-05-2015, 01:06 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Leroy is a 20 year- old 5th grader from Detroit. This is Leroy's homework
assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.

2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good.

3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get
that catacomb.

4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.

5. Rectum - I had two Cadillacs, but my bitch rectum both.

6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they
gonna send me back to the joint.

7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.

8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He
say, "Bullshit, that watch israel."

9. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.

10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to
the poolhall.

11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, you break.

12. Stain - My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on
stain for dinner?"

13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "fortify."

14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

Bonus word: "OMELETTE" Let us use it in a sentence.

"I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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31-05-2015, 07:31 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(29-05-2015 12:18 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  That's like when I called the Rape Hotline....

They advised me to hang out near the Girl's College.....

...

Same joke a different way I heard it:

I called the Rape Helpline the other day. Unfortunately it was just for victims.
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01-06-2015, 04:55 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
What has eight balls and rapes Mexicans?

The lottery

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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01-06-2015, 05:10 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Why do pedophiles love China?

Because in China, Too Young is just a name.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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01-06-2015, 08:46 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Beans you've posted dang near every joke I know so sorry if I repeat some. I'm trying to read the whole thread but even still...
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01-06-2015, 08:52 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(01-06-2015 05:10 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  Why do pedophiles love China?

Because in China, Too Young is just a name.

No wonder the Catholics have been so aggressive in their expansion efforts there.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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02-06-2015, 11:12 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A little girl was in class drawing circles with a compass when she manages to prick herself with the point and draw a drop of blood.
She shows it to the teacher and askes for a glass of cider. The teacher asks why she wants cider. She replies it is to put her hand in make it better. Teacher asks where she got such an idea from. The girl replies "From my big sister, she says that every time she gets a prick in her hand she puts in in side her."

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
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03-06-2015, 09:24 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
What do you call down syndrome people in a car crash?

Mashed potatoes

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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03-06-2015, 11:01 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
[Image: tumblr_makvnvlnxt1rpga6zo1_500.jpg]

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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05-06-2015, 09:53 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
An army recruit was due to do his first parachute jump one day.
At the end of the day his wife asked him how it went. He replied "Not very well, I was scared."
Wife "What happened?"
"We went up in the 'plane, the door was opened and all the others jumped out."
"Did you jump then"
"No, I was too scared. The sergeant said 'if you don't jump I will put you on a charge.'"
"Did you jump then?"
"No, I was too scared, The sergeant said 'If you don't jump you will be on fatigues for the rest of the year.'"
"Did you jump them?"
"No, I was too scared. The sergeant then lowered his trousers and held up the biggest dick that I have ever seen and said 'If you don't jump I am going to ram this right up your shitter.'"
"Did you jump then?"
"A little at first."

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
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