Offensive Joke Thread
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16-10-2014, 02:42 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
(16-10-2014 12:35 AM)Vosur Wrote:  You know your girlfriend is too young when you have to make airplane noises to get your cock in her mouth.

That is truely one of the most perverse things I have ever heard.

[Image: slow-clap-gif-2.gif]

Well done sir.
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16-10-2014, 02:44 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't fucking follow you around after you a drop a load in 'er.
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19-10-2014, 05:57 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women, one from from England, one from Wales and one from Scotland were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The English woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?"
The man said "No." So she gave him a hug and walked on.
The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The man said, "No." So she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The Scottish woman came to him and said, "Ave ya ever been fucked, laddie?"
The man broke into a big smile and said, "No."
She said, "Aye, well ya will be when the tide comes in."
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19-10-2014, 07:08 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A man walking down the beach finds a genie's lamp. He gives it a rub and out pops a genie who tells him he'll get 3 wishes but whatever he wishes for his ex-wife will get double. The man agrees.

"For my first wish, I want 100 million dollars!"...Poof! He gets his 100 million dollars and his ex-wife gets 200 million.

"For my second wish I want a 100 million dollar mansion!"...Poof! He gets his 100 million dollar mansion and his ex-wife gets a 200 million dollar mansion.

The genie asks, "And your last wish?"

The man says, "Yea, I want you to beat me half to death."
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19-10-2014, 10:17 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
A man and a woman are on a date in a park late at night. The woman looks up to Ursa Minor and asks the man how far away he thinks the north star is.

The man takes a power drill and shreds her frontal lobe.

“You see… sometimes life gives you lemons. And when that happens… you need to find some spell that makes lemons explode, because lemons are terrible. I only ate them once and I can say with certainty they are the worst fruit. If life gave me lemons, I would view it as nothing short of a declaration of war."
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20-10-2014, 04:09 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread




The lyrics don't sound offensive yet, until you imagine that the lyrics describe a serial killer hunting a sexy woman driving a car...

Jump back, what's that sound ?
Here she comes, full blast and top down.
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue.
Model citizen zero discipline
Don't you know she's coming home with me?
You'l lose her in the turn.
I'll get her!
Panama, Panama
Panama, Panama
Ain't nothin' like it, her shiny machine.
Got the feel for the wheel, keep the moving parts clean.
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue,
Got an on-ramp comin' through my bedroom.
Don't you know she's coming home with me?
You'll lose her in the turn.
I'll get her!
Yeah, we're runnin' a little bit hot tonight.
I can barely see the road from the heat comin' off of it.
Ah, you reach down, between my legs, ease the seat back.
She's blinding, I'm flying,
Right behind the rear-view mirror now.
Got the feeling, power steering,
Pistons popping, ain't no stopping now!
Panama, Panama
Panama, Panama

They came, they saw and acknowledged
Some good, some bad
Opinion: Dangerous
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21-10-2014, 11:24 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White Vans ®

"Faith is the license religious people give one another to keep believing when reasons fail."

-Sam Harris, The View from the End of the World SALT talk
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21-10-2014, 11:25 PM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your jeans Sad

"Faith is the license religious people give one another to keep believing when reasons fail."

-Sam Harris, The View from the End of the World SALT talk
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23-10-2014, 03:14 AM
RE: Offensive Joke Thread
3 out of 4 people enjoy gang rape.
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