Oh Dear...
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04-02-2013, 01:25 AM
Oh Dear...
So, grandma was her usual self for Superbowl night. But even so, she wasn't anything intollerable.

What she did do, however, is make a proposition that I'm not 100% on. Since her husband died, she's basically been either going to church or sitting around the house crying; so I can understand that she'd want to get away from everything for a bit. So, in order to do that, she proposed I and my sister acccompany her on a cross-country road trip. She wants to drive the whole way from Virginia to California and back again. She has a few relatives who live in various parts of the country, and she discussed the possibility of visiting each of them along the way. It seems that this has been a dream of hers for some time, and now with my grandfather gone, she has the time to do it. And I'll admit, it would be a cool experience (one which I wanted to have with my ex, but that's another story).

The thing is; as cool as it would be...I don't wanna fuckin' do it. The drive itself wouldn't take as long as I originally thought (only about a day or two...I figured it'd take a week. lol), but it's a lot of miles and a lot of hours in places where I don't want to be. What's more, while it would be a fun experience to take a trip like that with, say, your buddies and your girl; my sister and I would basically be babysitting my grandmother for the duration of the trip. I've talked about her personality numerous times before, but she really is like a child. You basically have to hold her hand (figuratively, but sometimes literally speaking) and guide her through things. I have no doubt that she'll want to make numerous stops along the way, and not always at places that are relevant. And as crazy-dumbass-american as this may sound, I really don't like the idea of treking across the country without my Glock on me at all times. Given the numerous state laws and red tape bullshit involved with taking firearms over state lines, I just wouldn't even bother.

So, she really wants to do this, and my sister and I were considerate, but (unbeknownst to my grandmother) we're both personally against the whole thing. We've weighed the pros and cons, and while it would be fun to sip gentleman's brandy and puff a cigar on my rich uncle's yacht in Cali. (maybe give one of those stuck-up rich women a good grudge-fuck Consider ), we decided that the cons outweigh the pros just a little bit. But, she's always wanted to, and now she has a damn good excuse - to help her start her new life.

If we do this, we have to plan it out and save up enough money to make the actual trip. My sister and I would also need to clear our scheduals. So...should we do it? Cuz I don't like it. No

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04-02-2013, 02:55 AM
RE: Oh Dear...
Well it all depends if you can afford the time and money for such a venture.




You never know when something might come up after all.

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04-02-2013, 03:05 PM
RE: Oh Dear...
I told her that if we're gonna do it, we need to plan it out for a while and get finances together. I figure gas prices go up in the Summer, so it'd be better to do it around this time next year. That gives us time to get things in order. And maybe after sitting on it for a year, it'll slowly lose its appeal. (Then again, we'll be planningthat whole year, so it becomes a thing and we actually have to do it Dodgy )

Of course, for the most part, she wants to do it to get away from her life of monotony, which isn't helping her grieve in a healthy way. She's looking for a way to distract her mind. Putting it on hold for a year would defeat the entire purpose.

*Sigh* I don't know. Undecided

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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04-02-2013, 03:09 PM
RE: Oh Dear...
(04-02-2013 03:05 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I told her that if we're gonna do it, we need to plan it out for a while and get finances together. I figure gas prices go up in the Summer, so it'd be better to do it around this time next year. That gives us time to get things in order. And maybe after sitting on it for a year, it'll slowly lose its appeal. (Then again, we'll be planningthat whole year, so it becomes a thing and we actually have to do it Dodgy )

Of course, for the most part, she wants to do it to get away from her life of monotony, which isn't helping her grieve in a healthy way. She's looking for a way to distract her mind. Putting it on hold for a year would defeat the entire purpose.

*Sigh* I don't know. Undecided


I dont know how long they were married for. But if I lost my life partner I would be devistated and would be looking for anything to help me grieve as well. If you taking a few days to help her helps...then whats the harm?

But at the same time its not fair for you to have to do something against your will. Maybe you can help her find other ways to distract her mind from the grief. Something more local and exciting. Or maybe find someone else to do the drive.
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04-02-2013, 03:14 PM (This post was last modified: 04-02-2013 03:19 PM by Dark Light.)
RE: Oh Dear...
Dude, it's gonna take way more than "a day or two" to drive from VA to CA and back again. Check your math, or better yet, let Google. If you drove straight there and back without stopping for piss breaks, food, visiting relatives, or sleeping it would take at least three horrifying days.

A more realistic trip will take every bit of a week, maybe more depending on how long you visit. If you're wanting to sight see and whatnot it could easily take up a few weeks.

When I lived in Hampton, VA I'd drive home, a bit west of Knoxville, TN it would typically take may about 7.5-8 hours. That is with me averaging about 10-20 miles over the posted speed limit, going through a couple of drive-throughs, and stopping to piss about three times. I also wouldn't plan on traveling more than 15 hours a day, just to give you a reference.

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04-02-2013, 03:35 PM
RE: Oh Dear...
Part of the fun of travelling, other than discovering the unexpected, is creating the plan (within which unexpected things can happen).

Encourage your grandma to create a plan based on...
The Availability of services (gas, repairs, food, toilets, sleep, water, local events that are of interest) along the way and also the Capacity requirements (i.e. how many bottles of water, sandwiches, how much spare fuel) for the journey.
Plan also for Continuity (i.e. Disaster Recovery; emergency services) and Security.
Then she can prepare a budget (cap-ex and op-ex).

Preparing the plan will be exciting for her (in which case that's less for you to do) or it will put her off the idea.

Either way, it will give her something to do for a while.

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04-02-2013, 05:50 PM
RE: Oh Dear...
(04-02-2013 03:14 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  Dude, it's gonna take way more than "a day or two" to drive from VA to CA and back again. Check your math, or better yet, let Google.
Google is what told me it'd be about a day and a half. From about 4 different sources. Undecided

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04-02-2013, 05:58 PM
RE: Oh Dear...
Good luck with that...it takes us about 16 hours to go from Dallas to the southwest side of South Carolina and that's haulin' ass and making only short stops while doing as much driving as possible at night.

You have to factor in weather and road construction as well as when are you going to hit cities where a rush hour will factor in.

Bathroom stops are frequent if you have little kids or older folks with you.

It may be an adventure or it may be a nightmare. You have to decide, is it possible for her to travel to see some of the people she wants to see over a long weekend instead of trying to "see the USA in your Chevrolet"?

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude.
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04-02-2013, 06:02 PM
RE: Oh Dear...
Think about all the awesome stories you can regale us with upon your return! All those torturous moments, all produced for the entertainment of the TTA forum. Granted, it could be one of the worst times of your life but it's great for us! Big Grin

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
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04-02-2013, 06:03 PM
RE: Oh Dear...
Mapquest says from Richmond, VA to LA is 39 hours....that's based on driving the speed limit and never stopping and never having anything slow you down. Pretty impossible in my experience.

Unless you have an unlimited gas tank, a cache of Depends, and food and drink for the whole trip...I'm thinking you better at a minimum of a day to that...and that's just one way.

You are pretty much looking at shooting a week going both ways, and that's not stopping for any visits or other diversions.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude.
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