Old scars from loss
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21-11-2015, 02:51 PM
RE: Old scars from loss
Thanks for being here. I think you've all hit on the common point. I need to go seek some help if I really want to move forward. It is cheap talk to say this, maybe now I will do it. It was good to tally it all up in my first post. I had never really stuck it all together like that.
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21-11-2015, 03:05 PM
RE: Old scars from loss
(21-11-2015 02:39 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(21-11-2015 12:52 PM)skyking Wrote:  WTF do you do with that, how do you process that?.

There it is, right there. Much of your story - you were simply too young to process it and it's sitting in a file in your brain that has not been marked closed. And your dad's death and subsequent learning what he did to your sisters - again too difficult to process, a battle field of opposing thoughts and emotions.

These type issues, events that have not been fully processed, are often resolved well in talk therapy. Just talking to an impartial person can help. What else can help is writing it all down - every detail of what happened, so your brain can re-process....or you can draw it or paint it, even if you are no good at it, it is still an outlet that lets you review things.

Sorry all that happened to you. Life sucks sometimes...especially when you find the need to re-visit bad experiences. Maybe you can keep writing about it here, or see a psychologist....

The process I was led thru was to write it all down and then put the pages in a "burning bowl" and we burned them and that symbolically got rid of it. That seemed to help, but it was done under the directions of a certified counselor. My sister and I had both been systematically sexually abused by our older cousins when she and I were 4 and 7. Cousins 17 to 20. I got rid of my mental anguish at fifty years old, sister died at sixty five without ever feeling peace.
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21-11-2015, 03:33 PM
RE: Old scars from loss
(21-11-2015 03:05 PM)DerFish Wrote:  
(21-11-2015 02:39 PM)Dom Wrote:  There it is, right there. Much of your story - you were simply too young to process it and it's sitting in a file in your brain that has not been marked closed. And your dad's death and subsequent learning what he did to your sisters - again too difficult to process, a battle field of opposing thoughts and emotions.

These type issues, events that have not been fully processed, are often resolved well in talk therapy. Just talking to an impartial person can help. What else can help is writing it all down - every detail of what happened, so your brain can re-process....or you can draw it or paint it, even if you are no good at it, it is still an outlet that lets you review things.

Sorry all that happened to you. Life sucks sometimes...especially when you find the need to re-visit bad experiences. Maybe you can keep writing about it here, or see a psychologist....

The process I was led thru was to write it all down and then put the pages in a "burning bowl" and we burned them and that symbolically got rid of it. That seemed to help, but it was done under the directions of a certified counselor. My sister and I had both been systematically sexually abused by our older cousins when she and I were 4 and 7. Cousins 17 to 20. I got rid of my mental anguish at fifty years old, sister died at sixty five without ever feeling peace.
Glad for you that you found that peace, and sorry that you know your sister did not. Hug
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