Olive rant
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08-12-2012, 11:04 PM (This post was last modified: 08-12-2012 11:11 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Olive rant
My scary great aunt was named Olive. Ollie. She was always ranting. Her real name was Cecelia Olive, but no one called her that. She was the proverbial maiden aunt. She lived in a HUGE old Victorian house all by herself. My granny turned into a royal raving beatch when she was around to goad her. I wish she was around now, so I could bug the crap out of her.

I love me some olives. You can make all sorts of yummy little horses ovaries with them on crackers 'n shit. Don't be talkin bad about no olives.

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08-12-2012, 11:11 PM
RE: Olive rant
Man, I swear they come in holy jars. You know, with holes? Because, they're gone. They don't have shelf life, they don't even get a half-life... Big Grin

Bob just got some big, fat ones, the size of eyeballs! They're, you know, gone. Maybe putting 'em on stuff is yer whole problem. I put 'em on my tongue...

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09-12-2012, 12:20 AM
RE: Olive rant
(08-12-2012 11:04 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  My scary great aunt was named Olive. Ollie. She was always ranting. Her real name was Cecelia Olive, but no one called her that. She was the proverbial maiden aunt. She lived in a HUGE old Victorian house all by herself. My granny turned into a royal raving beatch when she was around to goad her. I wish she was around now, so I could bug the crap out of her.

I love me some olives. You can make all sorts of yummy little horses ovaries with them on crackers 'n shit. Don't be talkin bad about no olives.
My auntie was named Constance Olive and my Mum called her Constipation Olive Oil behind her back.
I rather liked Olive Oyl and imagine she would have been into spinach.
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09-12-2012, 02:08 AM
RE: Olive rant
(08-12-2012 11:11 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Man, I swear they come in holy jars. You know, with holes? Because, they're gone. They don't have shelf life, they don't even get a half-life... Big Grin

Bob just got some big, fat ones, the size of eyeballs! They're, you know, gone. Maybe putting 'em on stuff is yer whole problem. I put 'em on my tongue...
Don't be silly. They are not holy jars. They are made of Argon. That's why they argon... [Cricket sounds]

Pah... all the cool kids say jokes like that. You guys are jealous.

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09-12-2012, 06:10 AM
RE: Olive rant
When we were living in central California we stepped outside one day and there was this light chemical smell in the air. After a few days it became so heavy, we called poison control. They came and took off tracking down the smell. They came back an hour later and told us that there was a farmer a couple miles away who had a huge pile of olives rotting on his farm and the wind carried the scent right over to us. And that he had a right to let his olives rot as he pleased and there was nothing we could do.

"Rotten olives" became an in-joke with us.

Hasn't diminished my love of good olives though. Not the ones cured in lye (cocktail olives) though, but real olives which can be wrinkly and oily and do definitely not taste salty.

Quote: Along with monounsaturated fats, olives are rich in vitamin E, a fat-soluble antioxidant that neutralizes damaging free radicals, along with polyphenols and flavonoids, which have anti-inflammatory properties.
It is the combination of these three health-boosting compounds that make olives:


Have a protective effect on cells that can lower the risk of damage and inflammation

Help reduce the severity of asthma, osteoarthritis, and rheumatoid arthritis

Help prevent heart disease

Help prevent colon cancer

Help prevent the frequency and intensity of hot flashes in women going though menopause

When choosing olives for their health benefits (and flavor) always opt for those that have been traditionally cured (as opposed to lye-processed).



I think Greek olives are best:



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09-12-2012, 07:04 AM
RE: Olive rant
Damn, now I have a hankering for olives, at freaking 5am. I'll have to get some today...

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14-12-2012, 11:25 AM
RE: Olive rant
I despise olives, always have. I seem to remember having a drawer full of black olives in the refrigerator as a child, I tried one, and I thought that I had eaten out Poseidon's salty asshole. Pretty much the same thing with anchovies. I swear those bastards are saltier than salt.

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14-12-2012, 11:32 AM
RE: Olive rant
(14-12-2012 11:25 AM)Near Wrote:  I despise olives, always have. I seem to remember having a drawer full of black olives in the refrigerator as a child, I tried one, and I thought that I had eaten out Poseidon's salty asshole. Pretty much the same thing with anchovies. I swear those bastards are saltier than salt.

Anchovy-wrapped olives are delicious with a little salt and pepper.

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14-12-2012, 11:38 AM
RE: Olive rant
Olives are glorious.. it's not about the salt, it's about the oil!

Olives are pure greatness and olive oil beats butter anyday, which is just a glob of saturated fat.

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14-12-2012, 11:45 AM
RE: Olive rant
(08-12-2012 05:55 PM)Percepticon Wrote:  Is it just me, or does nearly everyone go crazy for olives?

I've tried to give them a fair chance. I've tried them on pizza, sandwiches, and salads. I've tried them whole. I've tried them in little nibbles. I've tried them in all colors.

It's just salt!

If I wanted salt, I would have just asked for salt!

Someone please tell me what the big deal is.







It's SALT, for cryin' out loud!
They're usually brined. But I don't care for them either. I love olive oil tho.
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