On this APRIL 1ST
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01-04-2011, 07:57 AM
On this APRIL 1ST
I am a christian now! An atheist of a little over a year now I am back to being a christian. You all need to repent or hell is the place where you will end up... Heaven is where I belong!
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01-04-2011, 08:28 AM
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
DOOD, you too?

I woke up and saw Jesus this morning! He was sipping coffee in my living room. He smacked me on the forehead when I came in and told me to stop using my brain so much. So I says to him, okee dokee jebus, and praise and glory be hallelujah I'm going to the promised land. Later.

Our brains deceive us on a regular basis, so we have to find ways to fight back.
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01-04-2011, 08:45 AM
 
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
You are both charlatans. *wags finger*
Now, repent before me the Virgin Mary and I'll make you some grilled cheese with my face burned onto it. Big Grin
Hungry yet?
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01-04-2011, 09:37 AM
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
You will all burn in hades if you don't turn to Zeus immediately.

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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01-04-2011, 12:07 PM
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
I have had an epiphany today.

This morning I woke up and went to the kitchen to make some pancakes for breakfast like I usually do every few times a week. When it was time to flip the last pancake, I was utterly shocked to see the image of Jesus Christ on the pancake!

[Image: BYeC0.jpg]

I get it. After all these years of bitching from my mother, and after all the prayers she has said in my name, our Savior Lord Jesus Christ decided to prove me wrong once and for all, and showed himself to me to prove that he exists! I'm saved!!

Peace to all, and Praise the Lord!


PS: Yeah, I suck at this kind of thing. Plus, that pancake was googled, probably 'shopped, and to be fair, it looks more like Danny Trejo than anyone else.

The God excuse: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. "God did it." Anything we can't describe must have come from God. - George Carlin

Whenever I'm asked "What if you're wrong?", I always show the asker this video: http://youtu.be/iClejS8vWjo Screw Pascal's wager.
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01-04-2011, 01:23 PM
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
You will all get an uncomfortable stone bed in Tuonela when you die! Repent immidietly, and sacrifice thy beer to Ukko!


PS: Finnic mythology not cruel enough?Sad

Correct me when I'm wrong.
Accept me or go to hell.
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01-04-2011, 01:27 PM
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
(01-04-2011 01:23 PM)Kikko Wrote:  You will all get an uncomfortable stone bed in Tuonela when you die!
A stone bed? Thats the best those vikings could do? I mean... not even a brimstone bed?

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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01-04-2011, 03:30 PM
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
Dudes! I looked inside the box today. Jesus was doing triganometry. Now I'm totally fucking confused.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
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01-04-2011, 03:54 PM
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
On a serious note, why would a god decide on this day, of all the days to choose from, to convert people. If someone actually is converted on april 1st then thats an admission their god is a joke.

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use." - Galileo

"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do." - Voltaire
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01-04-2011, 03:54 PM
RE: On this APRIL 1ST
(01-04-2011 01:27 PM)The_observer Wrote:  
(01-04-2011 01:23 PM)Kikko Wrote:  You will all get an uncomfortable stone bed in Tuonela when you die!
A stone bed? Thats the best those vikings could do? I mean... not even a brimstone bed?

Nope, they weren't vikings.
Everyone goes to the same place after they die, Tuonela, where you'll pretty much just continue living, but if you lived your life immorally, you'll get some minor discomforts, like a stone bed. Not brimstone, that'd be expensive, and Tuoni is a poor man.

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Accept me or go to hell.
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