Once upon a time there was a god.....
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17-04-2017, 04:08 PM
Once upon a time there was a god.....
Settle down, boys and girls....... I said SETTLE DOWN! Angry I'm gonna tell you a story. little mother fuckers Dodgy

Once upon a time there was a god who was omniscient and powerful. He knew in advance that he would create a universe with sin in it and that he wouldn't be able to forgive his sinful creations without lots of special, sanctioned sacrificial killing. But he couldn't help himself so he went ahead and created it anyway.

Big Grin

A lot of stuff happens to his creations. He gets super angry at their sinning and kills off all his creations except for one family. Later, after the population resurges he gets mad again and he impregnated himself as his own son, which is also himself, in a little, comly 14 year old Jewish girl. He is his own son, you see.

Big Grin

Later, boys and girls, he grows up and has himself beaten up and nailed to a stick so he can sacrifice himself to himself for sins that he knew in advance would happen (there's that omniscience again). When he's hanging on the stick he knows he'll float up to heaven after a few days and be in heaven again with himself and his son which is also himself.

Now, boys and girls, don't think too much about the problems with the story. You'll get used to it and believe every thing is true even though it might not make sense now.

Big Grin

Now go outside and play. you little mother fuckers



I thought I'd turn the bible into a fairy story (not that it isn't already) as a day after easter gift. Angel

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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17-04-2017, 04:29 PM
RE: Once upon a time there was a god.....
All decent fairy tales must begin with "Once upon a time."
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17-04-2017, 04:35 PM
RE: Once upon a time there was a god.....
(17-04-2017 04:29 PM)Rachel Wrote:  All decent fairy tales must begin with "Once upon a time."

And end happily ever after. Dodgy

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

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17-04-2017, 04:44 PM
RE: Once upon a time there was a god.....
Yabbut, where is the ghost? You can't have a father and a son as one without a ghost!

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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17-04-2017, 04:48 PM
RE: Once upon a time there was a god.....
Yea - where's Casper? Dodgy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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17-04-2017, 04:54 PM (This post was last modified: 17-04-2017 04:59 PM by dancefortwo.)
RE: Once upon a time there was a god.....
The ghost story part has to be told late at night around a campfire. It's a scarrry....very scarrrrrry ghost. It's a ghost with lots of holes in it.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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17-04-2017, 04:54 PM (This post was last modified: 17-04-2017 07:47 PM by Rachel.)
Once upon a time there was a god.....
Oops! Duplicate post.
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17-04-2017, 06:20 PM (This post was last modified: 17-04-2017 06:25 PM by Alla.)
RE: Once upon a time there was a god.....
This is my favorite fairy tale.
Long, long time ago there were God and His Wife. They really wanted to have children because children are source of great joy. They created many spirit children - sons and daughters. So, God and Goddess became Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. Their children learned a lot but they didn't have physical bodies as their parents had. Because of that hey couldn't have their own children because spirits are not capable to procreate. They also couldn't have eternal progression but they really wanted to become Gods like their Heavenly Parents. They wanted to have physical bodies as their Heavenly Parents had.
Heavenly Parents said that there is only one way to become Gods like them and to have eternal progression - they had to obtain physical mortal bodies and to live in the world were they could create their own families and they could have new experiences. This was the way Heavenly Parents obtained Their godhood.
But nobody could be forced to come to fallen world. Children had agency so they could make their own choices.
2/3 of Gods' children chose to be born in fallen world and to have physical mortal bodies and to have new knowledge and experiences. This knowledge would be very important when they would come back. This knowledge of mortality and good and evil would prepare them even for more knowledge they would continue to receive after they exist fallen world.
Parents said to children that they would experience all kinds of evil, sicknesses, pains, injustice and physical death. They would also make many wrong choices(sins).

It is very important to live in fallen world in order to obtain godhood. In fallen world all become fallen or sinners(make wrong choices).But fallen men can not enter heavenly home. They have too many stains they are not capable to remove.
This is why somebody had to help them to be clean again. This somebody had to be given the kind of power to remove stains.
So, Father and Mother made sure that not only their children could enter fallen world and learn all they had to learn to become Gods but they also could be cleansed from the stains they would get in this world.

So, 2/3 of children chose to become Gods but 1/3 chose different path. One of Gods' sons rebelled and he was able to deceive this 1/3. But this is another long story with many details.

Heavenly Parents said that we would forget about our beautiful heavenly home. It was very important. If children remembered their life with Heavenly Parents it would effect them a lot. First, they would kill themselves because temptation to come back home would be strong enough. Second, if children remembered Heavenly Parents they would knew for sure that Gods were real. And when someone has sure knowledge of existence of Gods and sin he or she rebels knowingly. He or she would suffer horribly, pains of guilt would be incredibly strong.

Many of God's children said that God is evil because He let them to suffer. Many said that God doesn't exist because they suffer.
But there were those who believed that it was better to suffer for a moment in eternity but then to be able to come back home and to be ready for more learning.
They suffered but their faith helped them to endure everything. Their faith made them to become stronger and better people. They were so strong that no pain could break them. They suffered but they could find peace and comfort at the same time.
They were surprised that it was possible to be strong and to be comforted while storms of life were hitting them from every side. They even had strength to cheer others up and to serve them.
They believed that they were sons and daughters of God. They wanted to become Gods. They became Gods and they lived happily ever after

the end

English is my second language.
I AM DEPLORABLE AND IRREDEEMABLE
SHE PERSISTED WE RESISTED
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17-04-2017, 06:49 PM
RE: Once upon a time there was a god.....
So I came here so I could later have babies? But - I don't want babies. Never did. Beam me up, Scotty!

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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17-04-2017, 07:08 PM
RE: Once upon a time there was a god.....
A story with alternate endings, too (how hip): and they all lived ever after OR and they were happily tortured forever and ever.

Can't say the latter is much scarier than the former, really Dodgy'

(You and me both, Dom. You and me both!)

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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