Only one from church small group not invited to wedding
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30-05-2016, 08:38 AM
Only one from church small group not invited to wedding
I am so upset, a couple at my church and in my small group got married and had this wedding and invited everyone from my small group except me. I know this because I saw pictures of everyone from my small group at the wedding. This was after I talked to my pastor about whether it was open invite bc I didnt get an invitation and he said it was invitation only and that I wasnt the only one not invited. But looking at the pictures I see that isnt true. So then I messaged him and told him I saw everyone from small group that goes regurarly there. He listed a few names of people that weren't invited, but they don't come very often (with the exception of this one guy and this girl who just started coming a few few months ago). That doesnt matter to me because I have been going regularly, Im a girl and have been going for a long time and I was the only one out of the group of girls that goes regurarly that isnt new that was not invited. That is what makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I was the only girlone out of the core group not invited, like do they have something against me or does somebody else in the group have something against me and they wanted them there and didnt want them feeling uncomfortable around me? I dont know. But I was the only girl who has been coming a year that attends regurarly that wasn't invited. I had specifically asked him before the wedding if there were other people that go regurarly to small group that weren't invited and he said a whole bunch. One guy and one new person isn't a whole bunch. Why would he say this? And why was I the only girl that attends regurarly not invited? And he had access to the guest list to know who was invited? Why would he know the guest list? He was officiating the wedding, but still, does the officiant usually know the guest list?
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30-05-2016, 10:16 AM
RE: Only one from church small group not invited to wedding
I would not look for friends at church. The pressure to keep up appearances there seems like it would make people more fake than they normally are ... looks like you're seeing that first-hand right now.

Do the things you enjoy doing, join clubs which support those activities, and you'll meet people who share at least one thing in common with you, and who on the average will be no worse than the folks in your church.

Also, I think you worry far too much about your social standing and place in the pecking order. There's something very salutary about not giving a shit.
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30-05-2016, 12:05 PM
RE: Only one from church small group not invited to wedding
With all due respect...it's the bride and groom's decision as to who to invite to their wedding. Just as it is anyone's right to invite or not invite people to any gathering. It's possible that there were cost restrictions that limited the guest list.

If you are really close to one or both of the members of the couple, perhaps you should ask them.

I am sure your feelings are hurt but you can't really judge who should have been there based on how long or often they attended this church group. It looks as though you feel like you are owed an explanation since you have asked a couple people...though not the couple.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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30-05-2016, 12:42 PM
RE: Only one from church small group not invited to wedding
Since you are posting this on an atheist forum, are you an atheist?
I ask because some are not open about their atheism and still attend church regularly. If you are, maybe your friends figured it out and didn't invite you.
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30-05-2016, 01:32 PM
RE: Only one from church small group not invited to wedding
Seems to me that your primary reason for being upset is that you have felt rejected and excluded due to the fact that others were invited and not you.

You haven't said anything about how disappointed that you are that a person you considered a "close friend" didn't invite you to his/her wedding. Something that you expected because of your close friendship.

I understand you feel rejected and perhaps a bit embarrassed at being the only one not invited. It is the bride and groom's prerogative to invite who they want. It's their choice, they have no obligation to invite everyone.
You'll get over this in time. I doubt you will look back on this as a big regret in your life.
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30-05-2016, 02:29 PM
RE: Only one from church small group not invited to wedding
Wait, aren't you the same person upset no one would drive you to church or something?

You've made three threads..one asking if someone was religious and two others about how someone at church upset you.

What is your purpose for being here? This section is for people actually looking for support or advice not to just complain -- we have other threads and places for that.

Also, thread moved


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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30-05-2016, 02:41 PM
RE: Only one from church small group not invited to wedding
There could be any number of reasons you weren't invited. Unless you ask the newlyweds you won't know what those were. Ask politely as I doubt that they intended to hurt your feelings.

Quote:That is what makes me feel like there is something wrong with me...

More correctly, you may not fit well with this group. It isn't that anything is wrong with either you or them, it's simply that you don't interact well. If that's the case then you need to find a group that you get along with better.

Of course that's assuming that your assumptions about this are correct. There might be a much simpler answer. Talk to them first to find out what the issue really is, if there is one. Only once you understand the problem will you be able to attempt a solution.

On an unrelated note, do you mind if I ask why you are posting this to an atheist forum? Not that we mind but it seems like a curious choice and we're a curious bunch.

Good luck with your friends and don't sweat the small stuff. Life's too precious.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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