Open Marriages - thoughts?
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19-12-2015, 10:09 PM
Question Open Marriages - thoughts?
I've known only a handful of people who subscribe to an 'open marriage,' and they seem to be 'happy.' But, it just makes one wonder...why get married, then? According to this article, open relationships will be a positive for the longevity of marriages. But, if you're interested in dating others, why get married? Because if things don't work out, you still have the burden of going through a divorce, even if you are in an open relationship. So, why not just stay single and date?

Posted this elsewhere, and thought I'd ask you all here what you think?

I'm not contemplating having mine be open Big Grin, but I'm just posing the question here for a hopefully interesting discussion on the topic.

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/...open-marriage/

Be true to yourself. Heart
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19-12-2015, 10:16 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
Taxes bro

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOW_Ioi2wtuPa88FvBmnBgQ my youtube
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19-12-2015, 10:25 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
I have no real thoughts on the matter. I think marriage is in itself not worth my time.

Also having been on the road for so long I have seen way too many people cheat. Funnily enough, mainly women.

I am a bachelor for life.

If people wish to do it, I have no desire to stop them. People should live as they so desire.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
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19-12-2015, 10:27 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
No, I wouldn't do the open marriage thing. I think if you are with someone who is sexually compatible and you both try and make an effort in keeping things fresh and sexy, then that would satisfy me and hopefully, whoever I end up marrying.
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19-12-2015, 10:32 PM
Open Marriages - thoughts?
I'm not sure I understand the concept. If you like or love or have great sex with someone, why look elsewhere? If you've become friends and not lovers then why not split up and go about your merry way?

My brother has a friend who offered her husband free play time, but even he said no. And he's an asshole so I'm surprised he refused. (Not to suggest only assholes have open marriages.)

I guess for me I never would. I've considered the possibility it's a holdover from my theist days. However I don't think that's the case, at least not for me.

I'd rather work in a long, rich relationship than playing around town.
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19-12-2015, 10:35 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(19-12-2015 10:16 PM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  Taxes bro

lol Laugh out load

(19-12-2015 10:25 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I have no real thoughts on the matter. I think marriage is in itself not worth my time.

Also having been on the road for so long I have seen way too many people cheat. Funnily enough, mainly women.

I am a bachelor for life.

If people wish to do it, I have no desire to stop them. People should live as they so desire.
You have a good perspective. If my fiance hadn't returned back to the states (he took a job promotion over seas a few years back) I wouldn't be engaged. Never really had an interest in marriage, so I see your point. Thing is though, why even enter into a marriage at all if you want to still date? This really isn't helping anyone, it's just changing the definition of marriage to mean something it's not. Marriage is about a commitment, me thinks...and if you don't want to commit, that's totally cool...but to live with one foot in commitment and one foot in dating, it just doesn't make sense to me from a strictly pragmatic point, you know? Consider

(19-12-2015 10:27 PM)jennybee Wrote:  No, I wouldn't do the open marriage thing. I think if you are with someone who is sexually compatible and you both try and make an effort in keeping things fresh and sexy, then that would satisfy me and hopefully, whoever I end up marrying.

Agree with you jenny! And some people have affairs because of emotional reasons, but, again...just stay single, and date. I wouldn't be able to date two people at the same time, that's just me. lol I used to be a serial dater, but only one at a time. It just would get too confusing. Big Grin

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19-12-2015, 10:38 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(19-12-2015 10:32 PM)Clockwork Wrote:  I'm not sure I understand the concept. If you like or love or have great sex with someone, why look elsewhere? If you've become friends and not lovers then why not split up and go about your merry way?

My brother has a friend who offered her husband free play time, but even he said no. And he's an asshole so I'm surprised he refused. (Not to suggest only assholes have open marriages.)

I guess for me I never would. I've considered the possibility it's a holdover from my theist days. However I don't think that's the case, at least not for me.

I'd rather work in a long, rich relationship than playing around town.

Thanks for commenting, this is a great perspective, and nice to see that you would want to work on your relationship. Of those I know who have open marriages, they seem 'together,' but every time they are around others, they flirt non stop...it's like what are you missing in your life, that you need constant attention from the opposite sex outside of your marriage? To me, in some cases, it might have nothing to do perhaps with the marriage, and the person is seeking validation from others.

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19-12-2015, 10:41 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
I think one can commit to more than one person though. Hell look at the band Rush. They've been in a three way marriage for decades. And being in a band is very much a relationship.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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19-12-2015, 10:51 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
Open marriage better reflects the context in which we evolved pre civilization, and are still genetically predispositioned to prefer. Monogamy is more in tune with the cultural adaptations we've undergone since then, but have not yet adapted to physically.

Choose open marriage and you'll be more in tune with your biology and at odds with your culture and society. Choose monogamy if you want to reduce the drama you'll get from the rest of society but always feel like you're at odds with your instincts.

I would highly suggest the book Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. It's not without flaws, but is for the most part fairly well researched, and an eye opener if you've always accepted the standard narrative presented by religion, that we were meant to be in monogamous, life long relationships and often feel the urge to stray simply because we're sinners. Unless we buy into that particular line of religion, can anyone honestly believe that it makes sense for our instincts to be so out of line with the way we were meant to be? Those few species that actually do practice monogamous pair bonding, such as the gibbon, don't have to fight inner battles to stay faithful or give in to the temptation and end up feeling like assholes. There is no temptation for them because, unlike us, monogamy is actually in their programming.

And even if you do plan on remaining in a socially acceptable monogamous relationship as a way of dealing with the realities of social identification in a world where many of our strongest instincts have become more of a burden than a survival aid, such as I have, it helps to at least be aware of what you're dealing with and why it's there. Like they say, "Know your enemy." Even if that enemy is your own biological imperatives.

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19-12-2015, 10:55 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
I think it would be hard not to get jealous in an open marriage. I think that would be the most difficult part and could ultimately cause problems in your rship.
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