Open Marriages - thoughts?
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22-12-2015, 05:20 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(22-12-2015 04:30 PM)Commonsensei Wrote:  Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, what might be right for you, may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of means. Then along come two, they got nothing but their dreams.

What i'm trying to say is It takes Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story; Everybody finds a way to shine.
It don't matter that you got not a lot.

So what?

They'll have theirs, you'll have yours, and I'll have mine. And together we'll be fine!

'Cuz it takes Diff'rent Strokes to move the world, Yes it does.
It takes Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

agree, and later after some wine, i might dance to this...it's catchy. Big Grin

Be true to yourself. Heart
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22-12-2015, 05:24 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(22-12-2015 04:30 PM)Commonsensei Wrote:  'Cuz it takes Diff'rent Strokes to move the world, Yes it does.
It takes Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

Ima gonna leave. Weeping




#sigh
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22-12-2015, 06:53 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(22-12-2015 02:46 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(22-12-2015 12:41 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  Nope. I like my boxes to only be stuffed by me.

Great 2000th post. Thumbsup

Ha. I didn't even notice that.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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22-12-2015, 07:27 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(22-12-2015 12:41 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  Nope. I like my boxes to only be stuffed by me.

At first, I thought this read 'boxers' but then I realized it read 'boxes.' It made more sense when it read boxers.

I think. Unsure

Be true to yourself. Heart
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24-12-2015, 06:42 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-12-2015 11:57 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  I don't think there is anything wrong with an open relationship in theory. But in practice you have to deal with trust/jealousy/clashes of morality/children/STDs etc. It would be a lot of trouble.

But if two people decided that they were okay with their significant other having relationships with others then there is no problem...as long as they both want it.

As for why you would do it if you chose to get married. To me that's like asking why would you have friends if you have a best friend. Or why would you want to eat at Chipotle when you get free food at Azteca.

I think humans crave variety, possibly males more than females. But variety often threatens security and stability (although it doesn't have to).

I actually don't think polygamy is inherently wrong either (My anthro classes changed my views on this), but that's a different topic Tongue. In short, it just comes down to what the people involved in the relationship agree upon and expect.

P.S. what Yakherder posted early on makes a lot of sense.

If both sides want to explore an open relationship, you then discuss ground rules. Something like "do not sleep with people we both know" for example. Also, open or no, you don't start telling your partner how much you want to fuck someone else, that is not cool. A successful open relationship is like a unicorn. I can't even tell if I'm capable of it or not, but if my boyfriend ever asked me, my answer would obviously be NO! Because I would assume he already wants somebody Laugh out load.

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21-01-2016, 08:47 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(19-12-2015 10:09 PM)Deidre32 Wrote:  I've known only a handful of people who subscribe to an 'open marriage,' and they seem to be 'happy.' But, it just makes one wonder...why get married, then? According to this article, open relationships will be a positive for the longevity of marriages. But, if you're interested in dating others, why get married? Because if things don't work out, you still have the burden of going through a divorce, even if you are in an open relationship. So, why not just stay single and date?

Posted this elsewhere, and thought I'd ask you all here what you think?

I'm not contemplating having mine be open Big Grin, but I'm just posing the question here for a hopefully interesting discussion on the topic.

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/...open-marriage/

I'm in a semi-open marriage. I can't have any woman I want, they have to be women that are friendly with, and trusted by, my wife. Some are married but a few of them are single... and my wife insists on being present to watch, and often join in, when I'm having one or two of her girlfriends. lol

I let her do what she wants. Turns out she doesn't like having other guys all that much lol, but digs the scenario with her girlfriends.

Our marriage has prospered since this began. Our sex life in particular is faaaar better than it was, and that plus the trust of allowing each other pleasure while knowing neither will stray has amplified the trust we have between us in the overall marriage.

Btw, I was not the one who asked for or initiated this. It happened quite by accident.... but damn am I glad it did Big Grin
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21-01-2016, 09:00 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(19-12-2015 10:55 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think it would be hard not to get jealous in an open marriage. I think that would be the most difficult part and could ultimately cause problems in your rship.

I agree, but probably for different reasons.

I doubt I'd have an issue with my SO sexing up other people. I'd probably just become jealous at how easy it would be for her. I'd have to either spend way too much time on a stranger that I don't actually care about, which would take away time with my SO, or I'd have to make some kind of deal with the devil to up my game. The whole thing seems tiring and time consuming to say the least.

I'm not at all worried about being replaced though.
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21-01-2016, 09:19 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-01-2016 09:00 AM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  
(19-12-2015 10:55 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think it would be hard not to get jealous in an open marriage. I think that would be the most difficult part and could ultimately cause problems in your rship.

I agree, but probably for different reasons.

I doubt I'd have an issue with my SO sexing up other people. I'd probably just become jealous at how easy it would be for her. I'd have to either spend way too much time on a stranger that I don't actually care about, which would take away time with my SO, or I'd have to make some kind of deal with the devil to up my game. The whole thing seems tiring and time consuming to say the least.

I'm not at all worried about being replaced though.

Open relationships don't cause jealousy. Rather, monogamy is inherently jealous! It is an expression of jealousy. And mostly unrealistic IMO. The idea that one person can fulfill all the needs and desires of another is preposterous. Should my wife be the only person with whom I ever eat? Exercise? Chat? Why then should physical pleasure be so limited?
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21-01-2016, 09:36 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
I don't think I could ever do the open marriage thing. I have more candid thoughts reserved for later, when I'll be able to post in the intimacy/etc. forum after I've settled in here for the appropriate amount of time.

I'm extremely open minded, and I'll expound on that in the said subforum, but I like the idea of monogamy. For a lot of people, I don't think it translates well. I didn't read this thread at all, so maybe others have talked about it, but I've read that a lot of people are of the opinion that human beings aren't exactly monogamous by nature. That can be debated to death, but I think it's subjective to the individual.

I don't believe in the fairytale, "there's one person for everyone" shindig. I believe, with the world as big as it is and with all the human inhabitants on earth, that we have the ability to connect with a multitude of people, not just "one special somebody out there for ya!"

I've been with my current girlfriend for close to two years and have known her for around four. She, like me, is also open minded in respect to many things, but there are limits, for the both of us. We have fantasies about certain topics, but we've kept them that way, because most of the time fantasies are much better than the reality.

I'm a simple guy. That might be boring. I have no desire to go after thrills (extramarital related). Too much of an overbearing, guilty conscience and, from the sounds of affair, they are too damn much work. One relationship is enough work! I know, I know... that is not what this topic is about whatsoever, but it got me thinking. I'd rather be faithful to one person for the rest of my life. That's less stress. "Less is more".

I think an open marriage is doable, though. No question about it. It just takes the right personalities and enough self-esteem to go through with it. Insecurity has no place for it. I know a couple who pretty much have an open marriage -- they are 'swingers'. No, they don't openly boast of it, of course, but I'm close to both of them. That's right up their alley, for their personalities. They are both fairly extroverted and confident individuals. More power to them, I say. As long as they are doing it safely, I don't see the issue.
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21-01-2016, 09:44 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
I'm a one-woman guy. Well, I'm a no-woman guy right now.

But I'm not marriage material anyway. Serial monogamy with no legal strangles for me, thankyouverymuch.
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