Open Marriages - thoughts?
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21-01-2016, 09:45 AM (This post was last modified: 21-01-2016 09:50 AM by WeAreTheCosmos.)
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-01-2016 09:19 AM)coyote Wrote:  
(21-01-2016 09:00 AM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  I agree, but probably for different reasons.

I doubt I'd have an issue with my SO sexing up other people. I'd probably just become jealous at how easy it would be for her. I'd have to either spend way too much time on a stranger that I don't actually care about, which would take away time with my SO, or I'd have to make some kind of deal with the devil to up my game. The whole thing seems tiring and time consuming to say the least.

I'm not at all worried about being replaced though.

Open relationships don't cause jealousy. Rather, monogamy is inherently jealous! It is an expression of jealousy. And mostly unrealistic IMO. The idea that one person can fulfill all the needs and desires of another is preposterous. Should my wife be the only person with whom I ever eat? Exercise? Chat? Why then should physical pleasure be so limited?

Congratulations, you've completely avoided the point I raised, and restated the part I have no issue with. Why even reply to my post at all with something absolutely unrelated?
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21-01-2016, 09:50 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
My second cousin, now 49, is going thru some severe problems. When he was a kid of 12 years old his parents had an "open relationship" which was so open it included sexual parties in the living room with a dozen or more couples all humping each other. One night he wandered out of his bedroom and his father noted it and welcomed him and paired him up with a woman who at the moment had no man on top of her. Within a few weeks he was expected to attend the parties and play with the adults male and female and be played with as a sex toy.
Yes this crossed the line from all adult fun to child abuse, but when all the adults are drunk and carrying on somewhere across the line of normally accepted behavior presumably the line is already blurred. Said cousin goes to 2 different counselors and writes often on Facebook and other places about suicide. His wife of 18 years recently died, which added to his problems. WHich all started due to Open Relationships!
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21-01-2016, 09:56 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-01-2016 09:44 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  I'm a one-woman guy. Well, I'm a no-woman guy right now.

But I'm not marriage material anyway. Serial monogamy with no legal strangles for me, thankyouverymuch.
One of my uncles, that's 69, who was a big time 'player' in his day and has still been up to such things in recent years the best he possibly can (too much damn work, I reiterate from the previous post!), every time I see him he always asks me, "How many girlfriends do you have now?" (he does this to pretty much me and all my cousins, most of which are in their late 30s and 40s!) The last time I saw him, and I told him one, he looked at me and said, "the only time and place to be a one-woman man is a place where there's only one woman". Your post reminded me of that.Consider He's a crazy SOB.
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21-01-2016, 09:57 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
I'm not bothered by the concept, and I think it's more in line with our genetic predispositions. But also taking into account modern cultural adaptations and the reasoning behind them, it's not for me. I'd theoretically be quite content spending my life with one person. I was happy with my ex wife for a few years with absolutely no desire to stray, then she cheated, and I'd be good with my current girlfriend if she actually liked me, so I'm not exactly there yet, but theoretically Tongue

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21-01-2016, 10:03 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-01-2016 09:45 AM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  
(21-01-2016 09:19 AM)coyote Wrote:  Open relationships don't cause jealousy. Rather, monogamy is inherently jealous! It is an expression of jealousy. And mostly unrealistic IMO. The idea that one person can fulfill all the needs and desires of another is preposterous. Should my wife be the only person with whom I ever eat? Exercise? Chat? Why then should physical pleasure be so limited?

Congratulations, you've completely avoided the point I raised, and restated the part I have no issue with. Why even reply to my post at all with something absolutely unrelated?

I wasn't really replying to you so much as to jennybee, though I left your post there as a contrast to my own.
It's not all about you.
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21-01-2016, 10:03 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(19-12-2015 10:16 PM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  Taxes bro

There are few tax advantages in the US for married couples earning two-paychecks. If only one of you work then yes you get an extra personal exemption on your single source of income. If both of you work all it does is move part of your income into a higher tax bracket. If my SO and I were to get married it move all of her income from the 10-15% bracket to the 28% bracket. Getting married would cost us 13-18% of her taxable income.

Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.

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21-01-2016, 10:13 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-01-2016 10:03 AM)coyote Wrote:  
(21-01-2016 09:45 AM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  Congratulations, you've completely avoided the point I raised, and restated the part I have no issue with. Why even reply to my post at all with something absolutely unrelated?

I wasn't really replying to you so much as to jennybee, though I left your post there as a contrast to my own.
It's not all about you.

Actually my post WAS specifically about me. It was addressing a point of personal contention.

..And it wasn't even in contrast to yours! The point you raised was the part that I agree with...
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21-01-2016, 10:21 AM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-01-2016 10:03 AM)Popeyes Pappy Wrote:  
(19-12-2015 10:16 PM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  Taxes bro

There are few tax advantages in the US for married couples earning two-paychecks. If only one of you work then yes you get an extra personal exemption on your single source of income. If both of you work all it does is move part of your income into a higher tax bracket. If my SO and I were to get married it move all of her income from the 10-15% bracket to the 28% bracket. Getting married would cost us 13-18% of her taxable income.
I asked this questionwhen your siggie doesn't copy.
But tell us about greyhounds Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.
Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.
as in save a life etc... How do you find retired greyhounds as housemates? I knew a couple who adopted one in Hollywood Florida and the poor untrained dog didn't have enuff sense to walk 12 steps outside to pee and poop. He'd stand up and do it and lie right down on top of it. My friends said that he had lived in a little square box all his life and they were hoping that one day he could get trained beyond that point. Tell us about your greyhound experience in that respect. I hope iIam not hijacking this thread, but know not how to start a new one.
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21-01-2016, 05:59 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-01-2016 09:19 AM)coyote Wrote:  
(21-01-2016 09:00 AM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  I agree, but probably for different reasons.

I doubt I'd have an issue with my SO sexing up other people. I'd probably just become jealous at how easy it would be for her. I'd have to either spend way too much time on a stranger that I don't actually care about, which would take away time with my SO, or I'd have to make some kind of deal with the devil to up my game. The whole thing seems tiring and time consuming to say the least.

I'm not at all worried about being replaced though.

Open relationships don't cause jealousy. Rather, monogamy is inherently jealous! It is an expression of jealousy. And mostly unrealistic IMO. The idea that one person can fulfill all the needs and desires of another is preposterous. Should my wife be the only person with whom I ever eat? Exercise? Chat? Why then should physical pleasure be so limited?

I don't think open rships cause jealousy *for everybody.* Some people (like Heatheness mentioned on her post) don't get jealous over things involving open rships. If two people are in a rship and the idea of fucking other people doesn't bother them, then I think it's fine, as long as ground rules are established ahead of time.

I was making the statement about jealousy re: open rships more from my own point of view. I would find it incredibly difficult being in a rship where my husband or bf was out screwing some other woman. I think it's fine (again my opinion) when men check out other women or watch porn with other women in it or go to strip clubs etc., but actually fucking another woman--that would really bother me.

I understand the biological basis for multiple partners, but emotionally I know it wouldn't sit well with me. Again, I'm talking about me personally. That said, I do think there are things you can do to maintain a fun, exciting sexual rship with one person (I gave examples in a previous post).

I don't think one person can fulfill all needs, so I agree with you there, but I do think if monogamy is important to you, you find someone who at least meets the most important things you are looking for and find someone who is also your best friend and then maintaining monogamy can be fun and exciting.
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21-01-2016, 06:30 PM
RE: Open Marriages - thoughts?
(21-01-2016 10:03 AM)Popeyes Pappy Wrote:  
(19-12-2015 10:16 PM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  Taxes bro

There are few tax advantages in the US for married couples earning two-paychecks. If only one of you work then yes you get an extra personal exemption on your single source of income. If both of you work all it does is move part of your income into a higher tax bracket. If my SO and I were to get married it move all of her income from the 10-15% bracket to the 28% bracket. Getting married would cost us 13-18% of her taxable income.

The sad part is, that this is the only benefit from marriage. I posted some where how marriage fucks men over, though I am sure it doesn't help women either, but I haven't looked into how cohabitation benefits women like men..

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