Opinion: Inside our scary, society-destroying family
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01-02-2012, 03:12 PM
Opinion: Inside our scary, society-destroying family

Quote:By Marci Weis, Special to CNN

"Mama, if it doesn’t pass, will we still be able to be a family?"

Those were the words of my then-7-year-old daughter on the night of the 2009 election. Over the prior months, sides had been chosen, harsh words had been hurled from all fronts, battle lines drawn. Up for vote was a referendum on whether Washington state would allow gay and lesbian couples to have several of the rights and responsibilities of legally married heterosexual couples. My true love, my lesbian life partner of now 20 years, had watched the debate unfold along with our two daughters. We had heard the harsh condemnation of our relationship, of our family.

And so it has begun again, this time for the legalization of marriage for gays and lesbians in Washington state. The battle has occurred in the legislature and most likely will move to a general election. Again, sides have been chosen and a fair number of my fellow Christians have argued that my love, my family, undermines society by our very existence. While I strongly support marriage equality, the debate over the right for gays and lesbians to marry raises a much more pressing concern for me. Why do my Christian brothers and sisters feel so strongly that my love, my relationship, my family has the power to shred the fabric of our very society?

So I have to ask, do you know my family? We are not unlike many of you. We are a family formed from the foundational love of two people, formed through tentative steps, risks taken and hearts put on the line. We moved from the blush of first love to the challenges of living in union with each other while allowing the other the chance to grow and change. We failed as often as we succeeded, sometimes learning, sometimes not. We made the decision that we were called to be together for the rest of our lives. We shared sacred and holy (though not legal) vows in front of our God, our family and our friends. On that day, we danced in celebration with our community and we danced in celebration with our God.

We chose to start a family. We lived through the heartache of infertility, trying month after month to get pregnant. We lived through the fear, the anticipation and the subsequent shocking and awe-inspiring beauty of holding our newborn daughter in our arms. Twenty months later, we held her sister, tears streaming down our faces as the four of us lay in a hospital bed, marveling at the miracle of life and love. We struggled as new parents. We struggled through a job layoff and the subsequent financial challenges many families with young children face. We struggled to remember that we were in love when faced with two toddlers whose needs were always front and center. We watched our daughters grow and change. Now, as they enter their tween years, my partner and I can begin to see flashes of the women that they are becoming and it scares us, excites us and saddens us.

Through it all, my true love, our two daughters and I have loved each other in that beautiful, flawed and ever-expanding way that we humans love. Through it all, we have tried to be good members of the communities we are blessed to walk in. Through it all, we have tried to rest peacefully in the beauty of a God that clearly shines through in our love for each other.

"Mama, will we still be able to be a family?" My daughter voiced the fear that had gnawed at her throughout the prior election season. I told her then, "No law, no government will ever take away our love for each other. It’s that love that makes us a family."

Will my partner, our daughters and I still be a family when this current battle is over? I have faith that we will be. Will we continue to feel the warm and loving embrace of a God that dances in delight at our family’s love? I have faith that we will.

Is my family really that scary, that dangerous? I do believe that ultimately the fear people have of my family will dissipate and most will recognize the healing and fulfilling power of love, all love, in this world. I have hope that ultimately my fellow citizens in Washington state, and in particular my Christian brothers and sisters, will realize that my family is not that different from theirs.

I have faith also that someday soon, the enormous wedding that my daughters are planning will come to fruition. On that day, the woman who I have been blessed to spend 20 years with will stand with me in front of our family, our friends, our faith community, our God and our children and we will reiterate sacred and holy vows. We will dance in celebration with our community and our God.

I have faith that day will come, soon. It had better. My daughters have already picked out my gown.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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02-02-2012, 01:45 AM
RE: Opinion: Inside our scary, society-destroying family
i was watching the new a few hours ago and was going to make a topic on gay marriage being legalized here. my dad and sister said it was disgustingAngry, and that they said that made me sick. i may be strait, and a virgin, but i dont think gay sex is any more disgusting than strait sex. if people are in love and willing to commit, they should be able to.

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02-02-2012, 07:40 AM
RE: Opinion: Inside our scary, society-destroying family
Such small minded people should not be deciding matters concerning peoples emotions. If you want to be gay and shoot rainbow lasers from your eyes then who am I to stop you.....well I might stop you if you're melting people with said rainbow lasers.

Regardless of what gay inspired superpower you may posses. You should be allowed to choose your own sexual preference. To hell with the tight ass scum that say you're not allowed to be gay or have kids because you and your partner are of the same sex.
I call bullshit on the American government (how frequently I use that line.)

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03-02-2012, 04:35 AM
RE: Opinion: Inside our scary, society-destroying family
I would so love to have a life where I had the time and energy to be so concerned about what others where up to in their own homes.
Not that I would worry about what they do, it concerns me not in the slightest.

If two people love each other, regardless whether they are the same sex or different races they should have the same rights as anyone else.
They have to obey the same laws and pay the same taxes so why shouldn’t they have a right to the same protection the law allows for others?
That is what they pay the taxes for isn’t it?

If the policy makers are going to segregate out a small percentage of the population where will it end?
As an atheist am I going to have my marriage of 19 years overturned as I don’t go to some church?

Marriage isn’t a christian invention, they may have claimed it to gain a little more control over the people they held in thrall, but it is much older.
It has little to do with god, it is to do with two people making a pact to stick it out regardless on what life throws at them.

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. Friedrich Nietzsche
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