Opportunity Squandered
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27-12-2014, 04:33 AM
Opportunity Squandered
Leave it to the Catholics to blow it big time. Now, all religious practice squanders opportunity constantly, most principally the opportunity to enrich life's experiences and give it purpose and meaning beyond narrow selfish interest, but it takes Catholicism to waste a truly earth altering potential. Let's look at the math.

The mass of a standard communion wafer is 1/6 gram. The sip of wine/juice is 1/6 ounce. The full repast clocks in at 4.89 grams. That's a standard serving as mass produced and distributed to Catholic dispensaries by truckloads.

Christ at his heftiest never saw 80 KG. The holy carcass of his lordship was probably no more than 60 KG drooping and dying on the cross, browning in the sun to a nice medium rare.

12,266 people given a standard serving can feast on a 60 KG body without having to start hacking up saints and priests to make up any shortfall; an 80 KG corpse would feed 16,354.

I'll interrupt this narrative for a moment to deflect an obvious criticism: that if the wine is blood and the wafer meat and entrails, the standard communion ratio by mass of wine to wafer would exhaust the available blood supply long before the meat and entrails ran out. But Catholicism uses its power to rectify that imbalance: the moment of transubstantiation converts BOTH the wine and wafer into body matter, so that most of the wine becomes meat and entrails, and a few flecks of wafer become blood. Neat.

One can immediately see that if a congregation, or a group of congregations, gets close to the size stated above, if necessarily means that some partakers of communion wind up eating part of Christ's rectum as that 60 to 80 KG gets transubstantiated into existence. I wonder if they can tell.

But here's where the Catholic Church has squandered an astounding opportunity for hundreds of years. It uses its power to transubstantiate bits of wafer and wine into the actual flesh and blood of Jesus Christ, only to instantly scarf it down like a sandwich, when with a large enough congregation it could reconstitute Christ absolutely whole.

Keep in mind that transubstantiation does not depend on swallowing or chewing to take place: it occurs upon utterance of the eucharist blessing by a properly certificated Catholic representative. There's no need to consume the vittles.

Given the importance attached to Christ showing up again, calling him into existence only to mush him up in thousands of digestive tracts is a stupendous waste of potential. Catholics and others have waited centuries in futile anticipation of his return and not once has a Catholic enterprise taken initiative and heaped 80 KG of wine and biscuits on the altar and uttered the blessing and brought the man back hale and maybe a little disoriented but ready to start work. Not once.

And with enough wine and biscuits, why stop at one Christ? An ambitious church could reconstitute a hundred Christs, give them airline tickets to all the major cities and accomplish some serious evangelizing by Christ himself. As far as numbers go, it's what the Catholic Church is doing already: invoking multiple Christs into existence, because well over 16,354 Catholics partake of communion on a Sunday.

But the only thing the Catholics can think to do with this power of theirs is make their savior snack food. What a waste.
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27-12-2014, 05:20 AM
RE: Opportunity Squandered
Awesome!

But I'm a little confused. Wouldn't this just result in creating a Zombie Jesus?

The well tested, and well attested to, process reanimates the body of christ but, as we know because of the already proven facts of dualism, the soul is a separate matter.

Having a soulless Jesus wandering around simply won't look good and this is why they don't do it.

Consider

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27-12-2014, 07:24 AM
RE: Opportunity Squandered
Mr Deity and the Host




Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
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07-01-2015, 02:27 PM
RE: Opportunity Squandered
(27-12-2014 04:33 AM)Airportkid Wrote:  Leave it to the Catholics to blow it big time. Now, all religious practice squanders opportunity constantly, most principally the opportunity to enrich life's experiences and give it purpose and meaning beyond narrow selfish interest, but it takes Catholicism to waste a truly earth altering potential. Let's look at the math.

The mass of a standard communion wafer is 1/6 gram. The sip of wine/juice is 1/6 ounce. The full repast clocks in at 4.89 grams. That's a standard serving as mass produced and distributed to Catholic dispensaries by truckloads.

Christ at his heftiest never saw 80 KG. The holy carcass of his lordship was probably no more than 60 KG drooping and dying on the cross, browning in the sun to a nice medium rare.

12,266 people given a standard serving can feast on a 60 KG body without having to start hacking up saints and priests to make up any shortfall; an 80 KG corpse would feed 16,354.

I'll interrupt this narrative for a moment to deflect an obvious criticism: that if the wine is blood and the wafer meat and entrails, the standard communion ratio by mass of wine to wafer would exhaust the available blood supply long before the meat and entrails ran out. But Catholicism uses its power to rectify that imbalance: the moment of transubstantiation converts BOTH the wine and wafer into body matter, so that most of the wine becomes meat and entrails, and a few flecks of wafer become blood. Neat.

One can immediately see that if a congregation, or a group of congregations, gets close to the size stated above, if necessarily means that some partakers of communion wind up eating part of Christ's rectum as that 60 to 80 KG gets transubstantiated into existence. I wonder if they can tell.

But here's where the Catholic Church has squandered an astounding opportunity for hundreds of years. It uses its power to transubstantiate bits of wafer and wine into the actual flesh and blood of Jesus Christ, only to instantly scarf it down like a sandwich, when with a large enough congregation it could reconstitute Christ absolutely whole.

Keep in mind that transubstantiation does not depend on swallowing or chewing to take place: it occurs upon utterance of the eucharist blessing by a properly certificated Catholic representative. There's no need to consume the vittles.

Given the importance attached to Christ showing up again, calling him into existence only to mush him up in thousands of digestive tracts is a stupendous waste of potential. Catholics and others have waited centuries in futile anticipation of his return and not once has a Catholic enterprise taken initiative and heaped 80 KG of wine and biscuits on the altar and uttered the blessing and brought the man back hale and maybe a little disoriented but ready to start work. Not once.

And with enough wine and biscuits, why stop at one Christ? An ambitious church could reconstitute a hundred Christs, give them airline tickets to all the major cities and accomplish some serious evangelizing by Christ himself. As far as numbers go, it's what the Catholic Church is doing already: invoking multiple Christs into existence, because well over 16,354 Catholics partake of communion on a Sunday.

But the only thing the Catholics can think to do with this power of theirs is make their savior snack food. What a waste.

I liked your insights and working out the math was humorous. But you underscore a principle of mine that Roman Catholic doctrine is way off. Yes, there have been thousands of Protestant and nondenominational groups, what they ALL have in common is that NONE of them believe in transubstantiation, the Queen-ship of Mary, praying to dead saints, etc. It's almost like the false sheds light on what is true.

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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07-01-2015, 02:31 PM
RE: Opportunity Squandered
(07-01-2015 02:27 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  
(27-12-2014 04:33 AM)Airportkid Wrote:  Leave it to the Catholics to blow it big time. Now, all religious practice squanders opportunity constantly, most principally the opportunity to enrich life's experiences and give it purpose and meaning beyond narrow selfish interest, but it takes Catholicism to waste a truly earth altering potential. Let's look at the math.

The mass of a standard communion wafer is 1/6 gram. The sip of wine/juice is 1/6 ounce. The full repast clocks in at 4.89 grams. That's a standard serving as mass produced and distributed to Catholic dispensaries by truckloads.

Christ at his heftiest never saw 80 KG. The holy carcass of his lordship was probably no more than 60 KG drooping and dying on the cross, browning in the sun to a nice medium rare.

12,266 people given a standard serving can feast on a 60 KG body without having to start hacking up saints and priests to make up any shortfall; an 80 KG corpse would feed 16,354.

I'll interrupt this narrative for a moment to deflect an obvious criticism: that if the wine is blood and the wafer meat and entrails, the standard communion ratio by mass of wine to wafer would exhaust the available blood supply long before the meat and entrails ran out. But Catholicism uses its power to rectify that imbalance: the moment of transubstantiation converts BOTH the wine and wafer into body matter, so that most of the wine becomes meat and entrails, and a few flecks of wafer become blood. Neat.

One can immediately see that if a congregation, or a group of congregations, gets close to the size stated above, if necessarily means that some partakers of communion wind up eating part of Christ's rectum as that 60 to 80 KG gets transubstantiated into existence. I wonder if they can tell.

But here's where the Catholic Church has squandered an astounding opportunity for hundreds of years. It uses its power to transubstantiate bits of wafer and wine into the actual flesh and blood of Jesus Christ, only to instantly scarf it down like a sandwich, when with a large enough congregation it could reconstitute Christ absolutely whole.

Keep in mind that transubstantiation does not depend on swallowing or chewing to take place: it occurs upon utterance of the eucharist blessing by a properly certificated Catholic representative. There's no need to consume the vittles.

Given the importance attached to Christ showing up again, calling him into existence only to mush him up in thousands of digestive tracts is a stupendous waste of potential. Catholics and others have waited centuries in futile anticipation of his return and not once has a Catholic enterprise taken initiative and heaped 80 KG of wine and biscuits on the altar and uttered the blessing and brought the man back hale and maybe a little disoriented but ready to start work. Not once.

And with enough wine and biscuits, why stop at one Christ? An ambitious church could reconstitute a hundred Christs, give them airline tickets to all the major cities and accomplish some serious evangelizing by Christ himself. As far as numbers go, it's what the Catholic Church is doing already: invoking multiple Christs into existence, because well over 16,354 Catholics partake of communion on a Sunday.

But the only thing the Catholics can think to do with this power of theirs is make their savior snack food. What a waste.

I liked your insights and working out the math was humorous. But you underscore a principle of mine that Roman Catholic doctrine is way off. Yes, there have been thousands of Protestant and nondenominational groups, what they ALL have in common is that NONE of them believe in transubstantiation, the Queen-ship of Mary, praying to dead saints, etc. It's almost like the false sheds light on what is true.

And of course, your particular sect is the true one.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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07-01-2015, 06:28 PM
RE: Opportunity Squandered
(07-01-2015 02:27 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  ... It's almost like the false sheds light on what is true.

Funny, that's just what that little boy wrote in his letter to Santa Claus, about his sister being a dolt because she believes in a tooth fairy.
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07-01-2015, 06:31 PM
RE: Opportunity Squandered
(07-01-2015 02:27 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I liked your insights and working out the math was humorous. But you underscore a principle of mine that Roman Catholic doctrine is way off. Yes, there have been thousands of Protestant and nondenominational groups, what they ALL have in common is that NONE of them believe in transubstantiation, the Queen-ship of Mary, praying to dead saints, etc. It's almost like the false sheds light on what is true.

So your brand of bullshit is superior?

Bullshit is bullshit no matter where it comes from.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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07-01-2015, 06:48 PM (This post was last modified: 07-01-2015 06:55 PM by Reltzik.)
RE: Opportunity Squandered
(07-01-2015 02:27 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I liked your insights and working out the math was humorous. But you underscore a principle of mine that Roman Catholic doctrine is way off. Yes, there have been thousands of Protestant and nondenominational groups, what they ALL have in common is that NONE of them believe in transubstantiation, the Queen-ship of Mary, praying to dead saints, etc. It's almost like the false sheds light on what is true.

There have been thousands of non-Christian religions which do not believe in the Abrahamic god, the messiahood of Jesus, or the need for salvation from Hell. It's almost like the false sheds light on what is true.

"If I ignore the alternatives, the only option is God; I ignore them; therefore God." -- The Syllogism of Fail
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07-01-2015, 08:04 PM
RE: Opportunity Squandered
(27-12-2014 05:20 AM)DLJ Wrote:  ... Having a soulless Jesus wandering around simply won't look good and this is why they don't do it.

Telling point. But that raises the question of why consume the body if it's only a body. Presumably Christ's body is distinct from common flesh, and the one distinction that makes any sense (if "sense" is the word) is the soul.

The Eucharist blessing doesn't make a plate of dead meat, it makes an MRE of Christ's spirit. Live meat.

But if some future engineer were to go back in time and deliver Christ's actual body laid on a platter, and the parishioners each given a fork and a battery operated bone saw and directed to limit themselves to one small portion, they would be offended, horrified and disgusted (the same as we are already). There's a pathetic irony in believing a pretense is real only so long as it stays pretend.
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07-01-2015, 09:56 PM
RE: Opportunity Squandered
(27-12-2014 04:33 AM)Airportkid Wrote:  Leave it to the Catholics to blow it big time.

Actually, I'm going to say the Catholics have done the smart thing on this occasion. Given the maxim that you should never underestimate human stupidity and that this is even more true where superstition and religion get mixed in, you just know that somebody, somewhere has probably tried this. And if they haven't, they will now. I learned long ago to never try and out-crazy crazy people. They don't have to act crazy.

I think we can all count our blessings that this doesn't work. First, your contention that Christ's soul somehow takes part in this is patently wrong. Christ's spirit and soul remain in heaven until the second coming. Secondly, there's nothing to suggest that the bits and chunks show up in any order or with any connectedness. So even if you did get a big enough congregation together all you're going to get is a festering heap of stew meat that passed it's sell-by date when Tiberius was still ruling Rome.

It can only get worse if there was some organization to it. With ~1.1 billion Catholics on the planet chowing down on their savior on a more or less weekly basis you just know that one of them is going to request a portion half way through your bunch getting served. Congratulations! You seem to have brought Christ back but he's soulless, missing some bits and has some spare parts that don't properly fit.

Do you stop there? Hell no! You almost got him, try again! All you need is lots of wine, lots of crackers and a priest who can speak Latin at auctioneering speeds. One after the next you'd churn out zombie Christs with gaping flesh wounds and extra bits, though within about twelve hours of either side of Sunday the interference would probably get so bad you'd be back to stew meat all over again.

Inevitably though, like any good organized religion, it would produce the ultimate in futility: a soulless Christ with no arms and two dicks. Doubly celibate and topples over when crucified.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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