Outdoor preacher in my area
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23-06-2013, 08:20 PM
RE: Outdoor preacher in my area
I love those door-to-door preaching jehovah's witnesses.
I have scared them out of my house quite a few times.
A few ways to get them away(i have quite some practice,they try to visit every week):
1.play a gay video or any video where the guy moans in your bedroom. If they ask,say its your brother and his boyfriend.
2.release the dogs.
3.draw a pentagram on the ground and put candles on it. When they come in,say you were busy worshiping satan and ask if they want to join.
4.play demented.
5.use a tiny voice and explain mommy and daddy are in the bedroom making weird noises ,but do not open the door.



Maybe you could addapt a few and use them against that stupid jebus infected moron.

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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23-06-2013, 08:25 PM
RE: Outdoor preacher in my area
(23-06-2013 08:20 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  I love those door-to-door preaching jehovah's witnesses.
I have scared them out of my house quite a few times.
A few ways to get them away(i have quite some practice,they try to visit every week):
1.play a gay video or any video where the guy moans in your bedroom. If they ask,say its your brother and his boyfriend.
2.release the dogs.
3.draw a pentagram on the ground and put candles on it. When they come in,say you were busy worshiping satan and ask if they want to join.
4.play demented.
5.use a tiny voice and explain mommy and daddy are in the bedroom making weird noises ,but do not open the door.



Maybe you could addapt a few and use them against that stupid jebus infected moron.

Well the second way is possibly the stupidest and cruel thing I have ever seen put into action to get rid of Witnesses.

Think of this: a child brought with the witnesses nearly getting their arm bit off by the householders dog.

Yup, that was a close call for me, all right.

[Image: 3d366d5c-72a0-4228-b835-f404c2970188_zps...1381867723]
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23-06-2013, 08:35 PM
RE: Outdoor preacher in my area
(23-06-2013 08:25 PM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  
(23-06-2013 08:20 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  I love those door-to-door preaching jehovah's witnesses.
I have scared them out of my house quite a few times.
A few ways to get them away(i have quite some practice,they try to visit every week):
1.play a gay video or any video where the guy moans in your bedroom. If they ask,say its your brother and his boyfriend.
2.release the dogs.
3.draw a pentagram on the ground and put candles on it. When they come in,say you were busy worshiping satan and ask if they want to join.
4.play demented.
5.use a tiny voice and explain mommy and daddy are in the bedroom making weird noises ,but do not open the door.



Maybe you could addapt a few and use them against that stupid jebus infected moron.

Well the second way is possibly the stupidest and cruel thing I have ever seen put into action to get rid of Witnesses.

Think of this: a child brought with the witnesses nearly getting their arm bit off by the householders dog.

Yup, that was a close call for me, all right.

i let my dog loose when the door was still closed.
He went to the door and kept barking. I said out loud "no,timmy. That isnt food"
for some reason,the knocking stopped.
It also helps that my parents are away at sunday morning

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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24-06-2013, 10:29 AM
RE: Outdoor preacher in my area
(23-06-2013 08:35 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  
(23-06-2013 08:25 PM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  Well the second way is possibly the stupidest and cruel thing I have ever seen put into action to get rid of Witnesses.

Think of this: a child brought with the witnesses nearly getting their arm bit off by the householders dog.

Yup, that was a close call for me, all right.

i let my dog loose when the door was still closed.
He went to the door and kept barking. I said out loud "no,timmy. That isnt food"
for some reason,the knocking stopped.
It also helps that my parents are away at sunday morning
Sadly there are people who act out like Mr. Burns. Glad you're not one of them! Yes

[Image: tumblr_lz4lyl1W6h1qig17qo1_250.jpg]

Thanks for clearing that up, Lightvader. I know Vader liked his force-choke ability - you think Anakin would have used force-mouth-shut on public preachers? Big Grin

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24-06-2013, 11:14 AM
RE: Outdoor preacher in my area
(24-06-2013 10:29 AM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  
(23-06-2013 08:35 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  i let my dog loose when the door was still closed.
He went to the door and kept barking. I said out loud "no,timmy. That isnt food"
for some reason,the knocking stopped.
It also helps that my parents are away at sunday morning
Sadly there are people who act out like Mr. Burns. Glad you're not one of them! Yes

[Image: tumblr_lz4lyl1W6h1qig17qo1_250.jpg]

Thanks for clearing that up, Lightvader. I know Vader liked his force-choke ability - you think Anakin would have used force-mouth-shut on public preachers? Big Grin

i hope so

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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24-06-2013, 01:49 PM
RE: Outdoor preacher in my area
Quote:I love those door-to-door preaching jehovah's witnesses.
I have scared them out of my house quite a few times.
A few ways to get them away(i have quite some practice,they try to visit every week):
1.play a gay video or any video where the guy moans in your bedroom. If they ask,say its your brother and his boyfriend.
2.release the dogs.
3.draw a pentagram on the ground and put candles on it. When they come in,say you were busy worshiping satan and ask if they want to join.
4.play demented.
5.use a tiny voice and explain mommy and daddy are in the bedroom making weird noises ,but do not open the door.

A great set of points, since the Witnesses and Mormons are religious cults who prey primarily on Christians not strong in the scriptures. Where as if you did those behaviors with me or other born again Christians, you'd get an earful of witness.
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28-06-2013, 10:01 PM
RE: Outdoor preacher in my area
Toronto has a few preachers if you go down to Dundas square. You get all kinds. The past weekend there were some Muslim preachers and before that some Christians. The only regular guy is this weird fellow who stands on one corner of the intersection. He doesn't say anything except every once and a while he shouts out the word believe and scares the shit out of someone.

here is a video of him although it doesn't do him justice on how loud his voice can get.





just listened to an interview with him and apparently he is out there every day and has been doing it for 15 years.

I'm homophobic in the same way that I'm arachnophobic. I'm not scared of gay people but I'm going to scream if I find one in my bath.

I'm. Also homophobic in the same way I'm arachnophobic. I'm scared of spiders but I'd still fuck'em.
- my friend Marc
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