Overcoming fear of death
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15-12-2012, 06:27 PM
RE: Overcoming fear of death
Hi omegamoo

First of all, I see that this is your first post here, therfore
WELCOME to the forum!!

Now, yes I understand your feeling very much. I had it myself, when I was little. I did not buy into religion, and after noone could give me a satisfying answer about death, I ended up believing in reincarnation. (Reincarnation is BS)

Death is final and it is not really easy to imagine to not be conscious, but you are wasting so much of your time and energy on concentrating on the fact that you are scared of that. It just takes away from your quality of living.
Knowing that you have only this one life should make it much more valuable to you, you should try and enjoy it as much as you can. You have only one chance, don't waste that chance by being scared of something that you can't avoid anyway.

You will keep thinking about it from time to time. And everytime you do,
you will obsess less about it because you will come to realize that
death, no matter how scared, is unavoidable. And with years to come, you will become pretty relaxed about this topic, I promise that to you.
Just right now, use the emergency stop, if you keep obsessing about this, you will end up with a serious mental problem, and you don't want that for sure.

And I am not telling you to not talk about it, of course do that. But while talking about it, also find, as kim mentioned, things that you enjoy and work on those, fill your mind with stuff that pleasures you. Pottery, writing, collecting stamps, watching soccer, origami, and physical love Big Grin ... or whatever else you might prefer Big Grin

cheers

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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15-12-2012, 10:12 PM
RE: Overcoming fear of death
(15-12-2012 05:42 PM)kim Wrote:  Maybe you're not really afraid of death. Sounds a bit as if you might be afraid of life.

Girly might be afraid of being afraid, ... Fuck that shit, Girly ain't afraid of dick.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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16-12-2012, 12:03 AM (This post was last modified: 16-12-2012 12:07 AM by fstratzero.)
RE: Overcoming fear of death
This.

“I would request that my body in death be buried
not cremated, so that the energy content contained within it gets
returned to the earth, so that flora and fauna can dine upon it, just as
I have dined upon flora and fauna during my lifetime”
Neil deGrasse Tyson

When you realize you were once many other things, that you simply have to return to that state.




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The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
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16-12-2012, 02:30 AM
RE: Overcoming fear of death
(15-12-2012 10:12 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Girly might be afraid of being afraid, ... Fuck that shit, Girly ain't afraid of dick.
Because they can actually be your friend Drinking Beverage

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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16-12-2012, 03:40 AM
RE: Overcoming fear of death
Unfortunately, you don't want a psychiatrist, but your fear takes place in....the mind.
Fear of death is very normal and very common, so you're not alone.
However, to the point of almost paralysis is doing you no good.
I see my thoughts and behaviors this way, if it helps me function and be effective within my life and add meaning to mine or another's; then it's a good thing. If not, it's wasting my time.
Your fear means that you don't understand the object of your fear.
It's not a THING, it's the label that describes the result of every living thing's term of existence.
If you accept that your body is comprised of a collection of cells and they die all the time; then it's merely the final logical step.
And to help my daughters, I explained it this way; our body at it's tiniest is merely a collection of atoms. The same as even the stars. And even when any other living thing dies, it's not that they disappear from existence, that would violate Lavoisier's principle. Instead, our universe is merely changing your constituents from the present form (you) to another.
To cap this, I'll quote Neil Degrasse Tyson "We are all connected, to each other; the biological; to the earth, the chemical; to the universe, the atomic." When you look at our own star the sun, realize that you and I wouldn't be here with out it anyway....
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16-12-2012, 04:05 AM
RE: Overcoming fear of death
(16-12-2012 03:40 AM)robsaugury Wrote:  Unfortunately, you don't want a psychiatrist, but your fear takes place in....the mind.
I don't like this one statement. Rest of your post, fine, but this statement bothers me a lot. Every fear takes place in the mind. Do you think that everyone with a fear should go see a doctor?
Psychiatrist and Therapists are probably helpful when your fear is unreasonable, but his is not.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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16-12-2012, 04:28 AM
RE: Overcoming fear of death
You are young, so as long as you try to stay safe you will probably live a long life. When death does finally get close enough to be a concern, you most likely won't care. I watched my grandfather die very slowly over a period of years. Believe me, he was ready for it long before it happened. It was his children and his wife that were not ready for it to happen.
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16-06-2015, 08:51 PM
How I'm handling fear of death.
Yes, I know this thread is old but I'm going to bump it anyway.

Lately I have been extremely disturbed by the idea of my mortality. Since I finally acknowledged that I am an atheist, I've mostly been able to focus on other things and just live my life. However, during the last few days it's been hitting me very, very hard. Not so much dying, but just being gone and it lasting forever. I used to believe in ghosts, so even when I wasn't actively Christian I still took it for granted that my consciousness might/would survive death in some form. It wasn't until recently that I realized I hadn't reexamined that assumption. I start thinking about it, trying to conceptualize the idea of just stopping existing, and not ever existing as a person again, and the end result is that I cry until I find something to distract myself. I've been starting to worry that the extent to which I've been thinking about it is unhealthy.

I've been reading various articles and blog posts and watching videos about handling the fear of death as an atheist, looking for help, but to be honest, most of them haven't been helpful to me, and in some cases, just made it worse. The answers tend to boil down to variations on:

"Just forget about it and focus on living your life to the fullest because it's a waste of your life to spend it worrying about when it's over."
"It's stupid/selfish/childish/egotistical to fear death. I'm not afraid of it and you shouldn't be either."
"Our energy and bodies will be reabsorbed into the world/universe, and the people we leave behind will remember us, and we leave our legacy, whatever it may be, behind us, so essentially we'll still be around in some form."

None of these have provided me comfort. I'll still be gone after I die and I won't be me anymore, and there will be no me ever again, forever. I was beginning to get scared about how scared and upset I was getting and how much crying I was doing over it--I was wondering if I was going crazy, if I'm just psychologically not capable of handling being an atheist, if I was going to spend the rest of my life terrified of something I can't avoid. You can overcome a fear of heights or spiders or the dark by facing it, and come out on the other side of your life, but how do you overcome a fear of death when by definition death is always going to be ahead of you, until it comes?

Then, just earlier today, I had an epiphany about my fear and the other emotions attached to it that is helping me handle it and not be afraid of my fear.

I realized: I am going through the stages of grief.

It's just that instead of mourning someone else, I am mourning the loss of my belief in my consciousness's immortality.

I read over a couple of articles about the grief process, and it makes sense. I've been in denial for some time. Sometimes I feel angry--it's not fair, why should we just have one shot, what about all the infants and children and young people that die with hardly a fair chance? Sometimes I'm just depressed about it. I suppose the temptation to go back to organized religion or supernatural woo in order to be free of the fear of death is a form of bargaining.

As painful as going through these emotions is, though, looking at it as a grief process is already helping me. If I hang on through the fear and the emotions then I have hope of eventually coming to acceptance. So even though I still cry and feel scared about death, I'm at least not scared of my fear or that I'm going crazy and can't handle being an atheist, which was what I was beginning to think. I'm going through a perfectly normal and natural psychological process, which is difficult but will eventually be resolved, and I'll have good days and bad days but it won't last forever.
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17-06-2015, 02:41 PM
RE: Overcoming fear of death
(16-06-2015 08:51 PM)RyujinZero Wrote:  Yes, I know this thread is old but I'm going to bump it anyway.

Lately I have been extremely disturbed by the idea of my mortality. Since I finally acknowledged that I am an atheist, I've mostly been able to focus on other things and just live my life. However, during the last few days it's been hitting me very, very hard. Not so much dying, but just being gone and it lasting forever. I used to believe in ghosts, so even when I wasn't actively Christian I still took it for granted that my consciousness might/would survive death in some form. It wasn't until recently that I realized I hadn't reexamined that assumption. I start thinking about it, trying to conceptualize the idea of just stopping existing, and not ever existing as a person again, and the end result is that I cry until I find something to distract myself. I've been starting to worry that the extent to which I've been thinking about it is unhealthy.

I've been reading various articles and blog posts and watching videos about handling the fear of death as an atheist, looking for help, but to be honest, most of them haven't been helpful to me, and in some cases, just made it worse. The answers tend to boil down to variations on:

"Just forget about it and focus on living your life to the fullest because it's a waste of your life to spend it worrying about when it's over."
"It's stupid/selfish/childish/egotistical to fear death. I'm not afraid of it and you shouldn't be either."
"Our energy and bodies will be reabsorbed into the world/universe, and the people we leave behind will remember us, and we leave our legacy, whatever it may be, behind us, so essentially we'll still be around in some form."

None of these have provided me comfort. I'll still be gone after I die and I won't be me anymore, and there will be no me ever again, forever. I was beginning to get scared about how scared and upset I was getting and how much crying I was doing over it--I was wondering if I was going crazy, if I'm just psychologically not capable of handling being an atheist, if I was going to spend the rest of my life terrified of something I can't avoid. You can overcome a fear of heights or spiders or the dark by facing it, and come out on the other side of your life, but how do you overcome a fear of death when by definition death is always going to be ahead of you, until it comes?

Then, just earlier today, I had an epiphany about my fear and the other emotions attached to it that is helping me handle it and not be afraid of my fear.

I realized: I am going through the stages of grief.

It's just that instead of mourning someone else, I am mourning the loss of my belief in my consciousness's immortality.

I read over a couple of articles about the grief process, and it makes sense. I've been in denial for some time. Sometimes I feel angry--it's not fair, why should we just have one shot, what about all the infants and children and young people that die with hardly a fair chance? Sometimes I'm just depressed about it. I suppose the temptation to go back to organized religion or supernatural woo in order to be free of the fear of death is a form of bargaining.

As painful as going through these emotions is, though, looking at it as a grief process is already helping me. If I hang on through the fear and the emotions then I have hope of eventually coming to acceptance. So even though I still cry and feel scared about death, I'm at least not scared of my fear or that I'm going crazy and can't handle being an atheist, which was what I was beginning to think. I'm going through a perfectly normal and natural psychological process, which is difficult but will eventually be resolved, and I'll have good days and bad days but it won't last forever.


If you think of non life as nothingness instead of death it might help. Before you were born you were nothing and nonexistent, but you certainly weren't dead. After you stop living...in a way you aren't dead, you just don't exist.


Nothing...........................(something).................................no​thing. Kinda sums it up.

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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17-06-2015, 03:27 PM
RE: Overcoming fear of death
(17-06-2015 02:41 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(16-06-2015 08:51 PM)RyujinZero Wrote:  Yes, I know this thread is old but I'm going to bump it anyway.

Lately I have been extremely disturbed by the idea of my mortality. Since I finally acknowledged that I am an atheist, I've mostly been able to focus on other things and just live my life. However, during the last few days it's been hitting me very, very hard. Not so much dying, but just being gone and it lasting forever. I used to believe in ghosts, so even when I wasn't actively Christian I still took it for granted that my consciousness might/would survive death in some form. It wasn't until recently that I realized I hadn't reexamined that assumption. I start thinking about it, trying to conceptualize the idea of just stopping existing, and not ever existing as a person again, and the end result is that I cry until I find something to distract myself. I've been starting to worry that the extent to which I've been thinking about it is unhealthy.

I've been reading various articles and blog posts and watching videos about handling the fear of death as an atheist, looking for help, but to be honest, most of them haven't been helpful to me, and in some cases, just made it worse. The answers tend to boil down to variations on:

"Just forget about it and focus on living your life to the fullest because it's a waste of your life to spend it worrying about when it's over."
"It's stupid/selfish/childish/egotistical to fear death. I'm not afraid of it and you shouldn't be either."
"Our energy and bodies will be reabsorbed into the world/universe, and the people we leave behind will remember us, and we leave our legacy, whatever it may be, behind us, so essentially we'll still be around in some form."

None of these have provided me comfort. I'll still be gone after I die and I won't be me anymore, and there will be no me ever again, forever. I was beginning to get scared about how scared and upset I was getting and how much crying I was doing over it--I was wondering if I was going crazy, if I'm just psychologically not capable of handling being an atheist, if I was going to spend the rest of my life terrified of something I can't avoid. You can overcome a fear of heights or spiders or the dark by facing it, and come out on the other side of your life, but how do you overcome a fear of death when by definition death is always going to be ahead of you, until it comes?

Then, just earlier today, I had an epiphany about my fear and the other emotions attached to it that is helping me handle it and not be afraid of my fear.

I realized: I am going through the stages of grief.

It's just that instead of mourning someone else, I am mourning the loss of my belief in my consciousness's immortality.

I read over a couple of articles about the grief process, and it makes sense. I've been in denial for some time. Sometimes I feel angry--it's not fair, why should we just have one shot, what about all the infants and children and young people that die with hardly a fair chance? Sometimes I'm just depressed about it. I suppose the temptation to go back to organized religion or supernatural woo in order to be free of the fear of death is a form of bargaining.

As painful as going through these emotions is, though, looking at it as a grief process is already helping me. If I hang on through the fear and the emotions then I have hope of eventually coming to acceptance. So even though I still cry and feel scared about death, I'm at least not scared of my fear or that I'm going crazy and can't handle being an atheist, which was what I was beginning to think. I'm going through a perfectly normal and natural psychological process, which is difficult but will eventually be resolved, and I'll have good days and bad days but it won't last forever.


If you think of non life as nothingness instead of death it might help. Before you were born you were nothing and nonexistent, but you certainly weren't dead. After you stop living...in a way you aren't dead, you just don't exist.


Nothing...........................(something).................................no​thing. Kinda sums it up.

I don't think atheism can prove that some form of consciousness post physical death is impossible. If death is total oblivion then at least that is peaceful. If 'something else' what can we do? By living life with consideration for others and to the full we seem to address both possibilities.
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