PTSD
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23-10-2015, 04:49 AM
RE: PTSD
(23-10-2015 02:16 AM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  I think the only shame involved in any of this is the way our society has not yet gotten the message out there that there's no difference between a neurotransmitter imbalance and any other malfunction of the body. The fact that our brains are complex and that such imbalances can be made worse by traumatic experiences (which cause our brains to change the hormone environment so severely that it "breaks" from a "normal" regulatory level) does not make it the fault of the person, yet too often we treat it that way... it is made worse by the tendency of the imbalances in the emotional regulators to prevent us from "checking" whether the feedback our brains are giving us on our feelings are reasonable, or the result of a "feedback loop".

It's 3:15 AM, and I woke up 40 minutes ago because I was seeing visions of a man who was stabbed nearly to death on my dinner tray in the chowhall, right in front of me. I still feel the blood spray hitting me. I still have times when I wake up and for just a second I'm in the isolation cells where I nearly lost touch with reality, again. I saw a thousand things I don't think I will ever be able to not see, when I try to find my lost calm. When I was released following my exoneration six months and two days ago, I hoped it was over... and yet I still cannot sleep like a normal human being, generally avoid social interaction, and live in pretty much permanent fear of all authorities. I just saw the doctor on Wednesday, hoping to try some new chemicals to help my brain establish a sleep and emotional-cycle pattern that isn't so wild.

I shudder to read what you wrote, because I've been living with the hope that it will get better...

All I can say is you have my sympathies... and thank you for what you sacrificed on my behalf. Thank you for your service.

Hug
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23-10-2015, 05:38 AM
RE: PTSD
It`s nightmares for me in which I relive the abuse that I had to suffer during my childhood. But they come randomly and it is impossible for me to predict when they come and for how many weeks they will last.

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23-10-2015, 05:40 AM
RE: PTSD
(23-10-2015 05:38 AM)The Germans are coming Wrote:  It`s nightmares for me in which I relive the abuse that I had to suffer during my childhood. But they come randomly and it is impossible for me to predict when they come and for how many weeks they will last.

Hug I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
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23-10-2015, 09:07 PM
RE: PTSD
(23-10-2015 05:38 AM)The Germans are coming Wrote:  It`s nightmares for me in which I relive the abuse that I had to suffer during my childhood. But they come randomly and it is impossible for me to predict when they come and for how many weeks they will last.

If you lucid dream you can turn the tables and fuck them up. I did it. Drinking Beverage

#sigh
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24-10-2015, 07:00 AM
RE: PTSD
(23-10-2015 09:07 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(23-10-2015 05:38 AM)The Germans are coming Wrote:  It`s nightmares for me in which I relive the abuse that I had to suffer during my childhood. But they come randomly and it is impossible for me to predict when they come and for how many weeks they will last.

If you lucid dream you can turn the tables and fuck them up. I did it. Drinking Beverage

Yes, you can do that. Easier than doing it yourself is calling someone into your dream to step in and end the situation any way you want it to end. I once had a client who was a psychologist specializing in dreams, and he told me about it and it works. All you need to do is to resolve that next time this shit happens, XXX will step in and fix it. Then, when you have a half lucid dream (and these nightmares tend to be that way) consciously insert XXX. Give it a shot, it worked for me too.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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28-10-2015, 08:34 PM
RE: PTSD
(23-10-2015 09:07 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(23-10-2015 05:38 AM)The Germans are coming Wrote:  It`s nightmares for me in which I relive the abuse that I had to suffer during my childhood. But they come randomly and it is impossible for me to predict when they come and for how many weeks they will last.

If you lucid dream you can turn the tables and fuck them up. I did it. Drinking Beverage

Nice! Ima try that against the RCC. Do you think they might invade my brain and make me a puppet, though, like in the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"? Gasp J/K

I've been a member of a number of atheist sites, but this is the first one that actually looks at resolution of our type of issues, with a nice support structure. Thank you, TTAF, and all its denizens!
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07-11-2015, 09:40 PM
RE: PTSD
**Update**

So I've been enrolled in a substance abuse program per the AFI(Air Force Instruction) which states that if you commit a "crime" such as DUI,DWI, or a positive urinalysis. The program last 90 days to which your counselor makes the decision to let you go or keep you in the program based off of their diagnosis.

Now I completed my first class which was this past Thursday and Friday. It was....interesting. It's basically like AA but with a military format. They don't force god or some spiritual being on you(at least this teacher didn't) so they was a plus. Now the entire class the only thing they really talked about was alcohol I had to make a point that we weren't all there for that but the entire curriculum really hammered the point of alcohol being bad. So it was tough to try and get something out of it especially since I don't do well in groups. I eventually was able to get some things to help myself but I couldn't help feel that voice in the back of my head going "Oh bullshit".

I guess for the past few day's I've been back and forth about the whole thing. On one hand I felt that since I was using marijuana to help with my insomnia, poor appetite and anger it wasn't a abuse problem just me using something that helped when the prazozin and Zoloft wasn't helping and causing more problems. Then on one hand I felt that I did have a problem and that that's what an "addict" would say.

Luckily my instructor touched on something very important, it's all about what works for you. You'll always have half of some doctors saying it's good and others saying no. If he hadn't gotten a second opinion on his clean bill of health from another doctor he would've died from the colon cancer that had been with him for years. So it's all about what works for you. But again I'm on the fence about what the hell is best.

So the pro's- helps me sleep which is something that has plagued me since 2013 and with staying asleep through the night. Helps my appetite which has steadily declined to the point of me eating only once a day. Helps my anger and irritability. Helps with the paranoia when I hear sirens or loud bangs and the spacing out which comes from that. Helps with my suicidal thoughts which have picked up steam these last 2 years(something that's been VERY hard since I've stopped and haven't been prescribed anything due to my psychiatrist being an asshole last visit) Helps me have a better outlook on life all together.

Cons- Legality in my state plus the weird medical marijuana laws in Maryland which makes you techinically protected from any time in jail if you posses the recommended amount but you still would have to go to court and pay a fine IF the judge deems you were acting within your prescription(we don't even have actual cards here). I might develop an addiction(Half saying it is addictive others saying it's not).

So I don't know what to do. Here it is something that helps me feel like I use to and actually having motivation to do things. But I can't due to my current situation. And now I'm falling back into that place where nothing motivates me, I haven't a clue what I want to even do with myself. Although I've gotten better at fighting off the suicidal thoughts they still are there. Now when I was on Zoloft or Prazozin for a good while it did NOT help with this just made me zombie but the thoughts were still there. I was just so out of it I didn't have the energy to do it. Plus my irritability was even worse. So it's a question of do I do what will keep me living? Which makes me sound like an addict. Or do I just follow the law and see myself slip back into a deep dark depression? I know I hold the answer to that ultimately but I feel really trapped.
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07-11-2015, 10:56 PM
RE: PTSD
I would say to go with your instructor's advice and do what is working for you. Sure the cons are a possibility, but the benefits seem to outweigh the potential risk, imo.

On a side note, have you ever tried yoga? Here's a website that might be of interest to you.

http://www.yogawarriors.com/
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08-11-2015, 08:12 AM
RE: PTSD
(07-11-2015 10:56 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I would say to go with your instructor's advice and do what is working for you. Sure the cons are a possibility, but the benefits seem to outweigh the potential risk, imo.

On a side note, have you ever tried yoga? Here's a website that might be of interest to you.

http://www.yogawarriors.com/

Funny enough my wife makes me and seeing as I'm not able to workout due some knee and back troubles it's the best alternative.
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