Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
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22-10-2015, 03:40 AM
Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
I apologize if a thread of a similar topic has been posted recently. However, as of late, I've been seeing a lot of controversial posts on the internet regarding how parents discipline their misbehaving children.

So here's a couple of examples of different ways parents have disciplined their children.

First, there's this: A facebook video from a woman whose 10 year old was escorted home by a police officer, handcuffed, and expelled. The woman proceeds to give her child a spanking on her butt (not in the video) in front of the police officer. Later, a male social worker was sent to inspect the child's bare bottom. In the video, the mother curses at the social workers, insisting that disciplining one's child via spankings is not the same as actually physically abusing your child. Her video went viral and sparked a lot of local attention. According to the mother's recent posts, the school contacted her stating that they were lifting the expulsion and her daughter could return to their grounds.

Second, there's this: A daughter returns home from school. The father confronts her about how she is failing multiple classes. He takes away her iphone6 and forces her to use a track phone in an attempt to motivate her to do better.

Example two is somewhat going to go hand in hand with example three.

Third, there's this:
[Image: 28im1so.jpg]


In my opinion, I think it's okay to discipline your children in the form of spankings. I was spanked as a child, as were my relatives that were around my age by their parents. It helped me understand what not to do, and that if I did do something I wasn't supposed to do, or something really bad, I would have a consequence. Consequences are something we face in our every day lives if we do something bad/wrong/etc. I see it as a tool that was teaching me that, even as an adult, I would have consequences for my actions. I feel that spankings are definitely not the same as physical child abuse, as spankings are intended for discipline purposes, and child abuse is more extreme maltreatment, neglect and physical abuse of and beyond "simply disciplining" a child.

However, as for taking items away from children, I have mixed thoughts. I agree with the father taking away his daughter's phone because of her poor grades, but I'm not sure how I feel about the father in example three basically turning his little girl into a prisoner. I'm not sure I agree with the father's actions in example three, even though example two and three both regard taking possessions and items away from children in an attempt to discipline them.


Any thoughts?
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22-10-2015, 04:02 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
Spanking causes such a controversy, but handcuffing a 10 y/o doesn`t ?

Quote:In my opinion, I think it's okay to discipline your children in the form of spankings. I was spanked as a child, as were my relatives that were around my age by their parents. It helped me understand what not to do, and that if I did do something I wasn't supposed to do, or something really bad, I would have a consequence. Consequences are something we face in our every day lives if we do something bad/wrong/etc. I see it as a tool that was teaching me that, even as an adult, I would have consequences for my actions. I feel that spankings are definitely not the same as physical child abuse, as spankings are intended for discipline purposes, and child abuse is more extreme maltreatment, neglect and physical abuse of and beyond "simply disciplining" a child.

However, as for taking items away from children, I have mixed thoughts. I agree with the father taking away his daughter's phone because of her poor grades, but I'm not sure how I feel about the father in example three basically turning his little girl into a prisoner. I'm not sure I agree with the father's actions in example three, even though example two and three both regard taking possessions and items away from children in an attempt to discipline them.

I agree.

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22-10-2015, 04:12 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
Are you looking for a spanking, little girl? Tongue

I read a study a while back stating that corporal punishment is damaging to developing minds. Undecided

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22-10-2015, 05:24 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
I dun got my ass handed to me a few times when I was a kid - some I even deserved. Didn't learn me nothin'. Probably didn't do too much damage either.

I think the problem I have with spankings is not that they happen, it's that they provide an easy avenue of escape for when it *is* abuse - the abuser just says "Oh, I was just *disciplining* my kid, nothing abusey about it, no sirree."

It is non-consensual. It *is* hurting the kid physically. Also in societies where spanking has been banned things haven't gone to shit, so I think it's probably *also* unnecessary. On balance if I'm making the law I'd prefer to play it safe and ban it, or at least make sure that there's a clear legal line as to what constitutes acceptable discipline and what constitutes abuse, so that genuine abusers can be prosecuted.

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22-10-2015, 05:58 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
As far as removing items, I think it depends on the age and emotional maturity of the child. A kid old enough to have smart phones, computers, etc... yeah, take that stuff away. I see no issue there. How about a younger child is throwing blocks at a sibling? Take them away and explain why. Don't take away food, clothing, etc... and expect them to connect the dots.
I'm not comfortable with the jail scenario above. A young child is less likely to understand or remember what the punishment is for, especially for such a nebulous reason as "not acting right lately." I think each episode of disrespect/bad behavior should be addressed as they happen. You can't let a kid (or adult) run wild for months or years and expect a blanket punishment to turn shit around.
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22-10-2015, 06:01 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
We require people to have training and a license to operate a car, or fly an airplane ----

But - any moron with an IQ of 75 can mate up with another like minded moron - and punch out as many kids as they like........

What's wrong with this picture???

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22-10-2015, 06:30 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
In my opinion spanking your child is equal to loosing control. I sadly have spanked my daughter when she was smaller it also happens to be at that time I was doing really bad so I had no energy. I also yelled at her often over small stupid things. That too is a loss of control.

These days I much more prefer to encourage the good behavior and talk to her about the few bad things she do end up doing once in a while. I'm actually not sure the correction I'm doing is too effective as I tend to say that I'm disappointed in the way she chose to handle a certain situation. For instance one time when we had her cousin over and they where outside playing until he was to be picked up. So when their grandmother came to pick him up they where hiding from us. And we spent well over ten minutes looking for them. Until the came out from their hiding laughing. Now I wasn't mad that they had been hiding but that they let us get worried, they where close enough to hear us talk about that. So I told them that I was disappointed that they took it so far.

But I do find it much, much more easy to enforce good behavior. Say when we are at the shop to get groceries. When she was about 6 or 7 I started to ask her if she wanted to help me pack up the groceries. Which she loved. When she was done I thanked her and said it was quite nice to have a daughter who didn't mind helping out. Now she's eleven and does it automatic on her own. I still remember to say thanks. But stuff like that just makes it so much more easy. Last time she was here, she asked me if she should do the dishes while I cooked, which granted is seldom, but is si lovely when it happens. And normally when she's asked to do something she complies willingly.

Now if her room is a mess I tell her when she comes that I expect her to clean it during the weekend. Saturday I'll ask her if she want to do it today or tomorrow? Naturally she most often chooses to wait but sometimes she decide to get it over with.

So all there is let is to wait for her to become a proper teen and see how that changes things. Though I do see the beginning of hormones raging inside her already. I have to remember to understand that too. That should make things much more easy. (^_^)
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22-10-2015, 07:03 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
Talking is the most effective form of discipline most of the time, but sometimes raising one's voice or swiping them on the backside is an effective way to get their attention and ensure they know you are serious.

But the real punishment is forcing them though conversation to reflect on their actions.

So. What happened?
What do you think about that behavior?
Is there anything you could have done instead?
Do you understand how serious your actions were?
What kind of person so you want to be?
Do you think your actions reflect your best self?

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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22-10-2015, 07:58 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
I personally don't agree with spanking. Teaching a child a lesson by hitting them seems ridiculous to me and on the edge of barbaric. Anything done out of anger is.

Yes I was spanked a few times as a kid.

As for the extreme things, l Ike calling the police. That would have to be a serious last resort.
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22-10-2015, 08:05 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
I used to spank the both my boys all the time.....

What's the worst that could happen???


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