Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
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22-10-2015, 03:18 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
I was spanked as a child, hit with a belt and those big wooden spoon and shit. I turned out relatively ik, and I'll probably won't use corporal punishment on future kids(if any) , not because I was spanked and shit, but because studies show there is less long term compliance, more aggressive behaviour in kids when using corporal punishment.

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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22-10-2015, 04:15 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
Late to seeing this thread.

Okay...

Didn't actually know who my father was until being told at age 8

( "Honey? You know the guy we're living with? Yeah... Dad. He's.... not your father.." *Long drawn out and confusing conversation followed*)

So, it was my Mother who gave out the discipline. With a wooden cooking spoon. Admittedly it was only one or two swats but... I did come to fear that kitchen implement.

This form of discipline continued until I was actually into my mid teens. I'd do something wrong (Either I was a rebellious, teenage dick, or not. Mostly I was a rebellious, teenage dick)

There was this one time she comes at me, swings. I put up my arm and 'SNAP" is splits up on my elbow. I don't feel anything. She's standing there with this short, broken twig. I laugh like an idiot. She laughs. Then goes and gets a second one out of the drawer.

Until I was about 17 or 18.

On that day I had a 'Light-bulb' moment. My fear for the spoon simply disappeared. Instantly. Like a literal light being turned off. Mother is advancing, brandishing this thing which has instilled greater fear than any deity into all these decades and I just... blinked... Reached out and simply took it from her hand.

I'm looking at the spoon. She's looking at the spoon. It's like neither of us can believe the spoon has gone from her... to me. I look to her and.. she started screaming. Literally blowing the roof off the house screaming, calling to/for my adopted Father of the time. She's backing away from me while I stand there dumb as a post holding this thing.

She's suddenly terrified that I am going to revers the tables and admonish her with it.

Step dad appears like a locomotive, sees me with a weapon and *BAM* I'm down and the spoon is in his hand and snapped like a twig. Even as I'm clearing the stars... with this implement of mass terror 'gone'..the whole mood changes.

Step-dad wants to know what the fek is going on. I'm all muzzy, trying to explain my point of view. ( I can't even remember today if it was me having been a teenage dick or me asserting my Mother's idea/order/whatever was simply stupid and wrong at the time )

Mother is holding Step dad calm and sort of explaining that it's all okay, every thing's cool etc. We all sit down at the dinner table and actually talk like adults about what ever the problem had been for the first time.

Weird, huh?

That's what I get for posting on Flue meds...

Friends should never let friends be under the influence and post. Tongue
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22-10-2015, 04:31 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
I remember the wooden spoon. One time, as a teenager I got a whack of the spoon and I just laughed and said to my mother that it didn't hurt. She went to the kitchen and reappeared brandishing the sweeping brush.... the laughing stopped and I ran out the door. I got the odd whack from my parents, usually for being an asshole. But I was educated by the experts in corporal punishment , the Christian brothers. Psycho fucks!

“The first duty of a man is to think for himself” ― José Martí
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22-10-2015, 05:19 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
I was spanked when I was really young. The 'discipline' turned to actual beatings by the time I hit middle school. Bruises, blood, hair torn out, nose broken, slugged in the stomach, slammed against walls...brutal, brutal stuff. Having one side of my face smashed into the steering wheel of my car and the other side of my face slammed into the car door wasn't bad enough, I was then dragged down the driveway on my back, dragged by my hair. Then kicked all over as I lay on the asphalt. The black eyes were quite impressive...the marks that didn't show because of clothes, even more so.

I swatted my kids on the butt a few times, usually through a diaper. Beatings don't help - I was actually scared with my first one that if I started with spankings I would ramp up to the beatings that I thought everyone got. I didn't want to reach that point.

Oddly, I would take the beatings over the verbal and emotional abuse my mother dished out. My physical wounds have healed though some scars remain. The mental damage still hurts. Undecided

That kind of crap isn't what I wanted my kids to remember. I didn't learn how to parent from mom and dad...I learned how not to parent.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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22-10-2015, 05:39 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 05:19 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I was spanked when I was really young. The 'discipline' turned to actual beatings by the time I hit middle school. Bruises, blood, hair torn out, nose broken, slugged in the stomach, slammed against walls...brutal, brutal stuff. Having one side of my face smashed into the steering wheel of my car and the other side of my face slammed into the car door wasn't bad enough, I was then dragged down the driveway on my back, dragged by my hair. Then kicked all over as I lay on the asphalt. The black eyes were quite impressive...the marks that didn't show because of clothes, even more so.

I swatted my kids on the butt a few times, usually through a diaper. Beatings don't help - I was actually scared with my first one that if I started with spankings I would ramp up to the beatings that I thought everyone got. I didn't want to reach that point.

Oddly, I would take the beatings over the verbal and emotional abuse my mother dished out. My physical wounds have healed though some scars remain. The mental damage still hurts. Undecided

That kind of crap isn't what I wanted my kids to remember. I didn't learn how to parent from mom and dad...I learned how not to parent.

Dayamn. I thought I had it bad. Hug
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22-10-2015, 06:41 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
Hug Anj

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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22-10-2015, 06:44 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 05:19 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I was spanked when I was really young. The 'discipline' turned to actual beatings by the time I hit middle school. Bruises, blood, hair torn out, nose broken, slugged in the stomach, slammed against walls...brutal, brutal stuff. Having one side of my face smashed into the steering wheel of my car and the other side of my face slammed into the car door wasn't bad enough, I was then dragged down the driveway on my back, dragged by my hair. Then kicked all over as I lay on the asphalt. The black eyes were quite impressive...the marks that didn't show because of clothes, even more so.

I swatted my kids on the butt a few times, usually through a diaper. Beatings don't help - I was actually scared with my first one that if I started with spankings I would ramp up to the beatings that I thought everyone got. I didn't want to reach that point.

Oddly, I would take the beatings over the verbal and emotional abuse my mother dished out. My physical wounds have healed though some scars remain. The mental damage still hurts. Undecided

That kind of crap isn't what I wanted my kids to remember. I didn't learn how to parent from mom and dad...I learned how not to parent.

Hug
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22-10-2015, 06:59 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 05:19 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I was spanked when I was really young. The 'discipline' turned to actual beatings by the time I hit middle school. Bruises, blood, hair torn out, nose broken, slugged in the stomach, slammed against walls...brutal, brutal stuff. Having one side of my face smashed into the steering wheel of my car and the other side of my face slammed into the car door wasn't bad enough, I was then dragged down the driveway on my back, dragged by my hair. Then kicked all over as I lay on the asphalt. The black eyes were quite impressive...the marks that didn't show because of clothes, even more so.

I swatted my kids on the butt a few times, usually through a diaper. Beatings don't help - I was actually scared with my first one that if I started with spankings I would ramp up to the beatings that I thought everyone got. I didn't want to reach that point.

Oddly, I would take the beatings over the verbal and emotional abuse my mother dished out. My physical wounds have healed though some scars remain. The mental damage still hurts. Undecided

That kind of crap isn't what I wanted my kids to remember. I didn't learn how to parent from mom and dad...I learned how not to parent.

Hug

Poor thing.

I've had belts across my ass, 2x4s across my ass, got into a fist fight with my dad when I was sixteen. We got into an argument, I was young and full of píss and vinegar, and thought that I could take him.

I was wrong.

But I never had it that harsh. I'm so, so sorry. Sadcryface

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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22-10-2015, 07:03 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 05:19 PM)Anjele Wrote:  That kind of crap isn't what I wanted my kids to remember. I didn't learn how to parent from mom and dad...I learned how not to parent.

That's an excellent lesson. Far more useful than the Catholic Parenting classes I had to endure to marry ManlyGirl in a Catholic Church in front of a Priest.

Four offspring all young adults now. Never raised a hand to them or my voice in anger. I was never worried about the damage I'd do to them, I was always worried about the damage I'd do to me.

#sigh
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22-10-2015, 07:05 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 05:19 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I was spanked when I was really young. The 'discipline' turned to actual beatings by the time I hit middle school. Bruises, blood, hair torn out, nose broken, slugged in the stomach, slammed against walls...brutal, brutal stuff. Having one side of my face smashed into the steering wheel of my car and the other side of my face slammed into the car door wasn't bad enough, I was then dragged down the driveway on my back, dragged by my hair. Then kicked all over as I lay on the asphalt. The black eyes were quite impressive...the marks that didn't show because of clothes, even more so.

I swatted my kids on the butt a few times, usually through a diaper. Beatings don't help - I was actually scared with my first one that if I started with spankings I would ramp up to the beatings that I thought everyone got. I didn't want to reach that point.

Oddly, I would take the beatings over the verbal and emotional abuse my mother dished out. My physical wounds have healed though some scars remain. The mental damage still hurts. Undecided

That kind of crap isn't what I wanted my kids to remember. I didn't learn how to parent from mom and dad...I learned how not to parent.

That's horrible, just horrible.

When I was in high school I had a friend whose father used to beat her. I went over to visit her one time and it was a frightful place. There was concern that one should never make her father angry over any small thing for fear of retribution. It was so different than my home and my dad who was such a gentle, nice man. She loved coming over to my house. I felt so bad for her.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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