Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
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22-10-2015, 08:23 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 07:54 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(22-10-2015 07:48 PM)Anjele Wrote:  A sudden move to touch me doesn't give me time to think it through. It's a learned response to try to move away from physical contact. Undecided

I've overcome the learned response and retrained and replaced it with no response. I ain't gonna be the guy in the office who they say "Don't touch him. He's sensitive."

Military training helps with that, I guess. But then, most guys don't touch other guys in the military. Except for that time these two Marines and I had a disagreement. Those weren't friendly pats, though.

I still don't even like to be patted on the back, after all this time from my childhood.
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22-10-2015, 08:55 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 08:23 PM)Fireball Wrote:  
(22-10-2015 07:54 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I've overcome the learned response and retrained and replaced it with no response. I ain't gonna be the guy in the office who they say "Don't touch him. He's sensitive."

Military training helps with that, I guess. But then, most guys don't touch other guys in the military. Except for that time these two Marines and I had a disagreement. Those weren't friendly pats, though.

I still don't even like to be patted on the back, after all this time from my childhood.

I think military experiences may vary.

When I was in the Navy, we had one guy once who was a bit homophobic, and it became a thing to grab his ass at every opportunity. One time someone got him by surprise while he was eating some ramen and he panicked and threw them through a wall into the XOs office. They landed on top of him covered in noodles. At that same place, I also got duct taped to the pipes running along the basement ceiling once. It took me like 2 hours to cut myself out. Good times...

And in the Army, holy shit... We do everything from getting in fights just for fun whenever there's more than two minutes of downtime to water boarding each other on rare occasions. Then, of course, there's the squad tents we can pile like 12 people into during winter survival training to keep warm. No privacy there. Granted, line units are a different beast. In any case, I couldn't imagine being in the military and being sensitive about contact with other guys. Maybe if I had one of those military office jobs with a bunch of officers and political correctness present at all times Tongue

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22-10-2015, 09:00 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 08:55 PM)yakherder Wrote:  
(22-10-2015 08:23 PM)Fireball Wrote:  Military training helps with that, I guess. But then, most guys don't touch other guys in the military. Except for that time these two Marines and I had a disagreement. Those weren't friendly pats, though.

I still don't even like to be patted on the back, after all this time from my childhood.

I think military experiences may vary.

Dress right dress.

#sigh
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22-10-2015, 09:45 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
Anjele, what you went through is just unimaginable. All the credit goes to you for breaking the chain and for sharing it here.
I saw a lot of compassion for her and others here, and I have faith that it was most sincere.
This is a very nice place you have here, ladies and gents.
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22-10-2015, 09:51 PM (This post was last modified: 22-10-2015 10:09 PM by Fireball.)
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 08:55 PM)yakherder Wrote:  
(22-10-2015 08:23 PM)Fireball Wrote:  Military training helps with that, I guess. But then, most guys don't touch other guys in the military. Except for that time these two Marines and I had a disagreement. Those weren't friendly pats, though.

I still don't even like to be patted on the back, after all this time from my childhood.

I think military experiences may vary.

When I was in the Navy, we had one guy once who was a bit homophobic, and it became a thing to grab his ass at every opportunity. One time someone got him by surprise while he was eating some ramen and he panicked and threw them through a wall into the XOs office. They landed on top of him covered in noodles. At that same place, I also got duct taped to the pipes running along the basement ceiling once. It took me like 2 hours to cut myself out. Good times...

And in the Army, holy shit... We do everything from getting in fights just for fun whenever there's more than two minutes of downtime to water boarding each other on rare occasions. Then, of course, there's the squad tents we can pile like 12 people into during winter survival training to keep warm. No privacy there. Granted, line units are a different beast. In any case, I couldn't imagine being in the military and being sensitive about contact with other guys. Maybe if I had one of those military office jobs with a bunch of officers and political correctness present at all times Tongue

YMMV
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22-10-2015, 09:59 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 09:45 PM)skyking Wrote:  ... I have faith that it was most sincere. ...

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22-10-2015, 10:10 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 09:51 PM)Fireball Wrote:  
(22-10-2015 08:55 PM)yakherder Wrote:  I think military experiences may vary.

When I was in the Navy, we had one guy once who was a bit homophobic, and it became a thing to grab his ass at every opportunity. One time someone got him by surprise while he was eating some ramen and he panicked and threw them through a wall into the XOs office. They landed on top of him covered in noodles. At that same place, I also got duct taped to the pipes running along the basement ceiling once. It took me like 2 hours to cut myself out. Good times...

And in the Army, holy shit... We do everything from getting in fights just for fun whenever there's more than two minutes of downtime to water boarding each other on rare occasions. Then, of course, there's the squad tents we can pile like 12 people into during winter survival training to keep warm. No privacy there. Granted, line units are a different beast. In any case, I couldn't imagine being in the military and being sensitive about contact with other guys. Maybe if I had one of those military office jobs with a bunch of officers and political correctness present at all times Tongue

YMMV



I put up a fight but was severely outnumbered. I got some of them back, though. Me and a couple other guys went to the server room, which was in a vault, and got IT to start locking their accounts out one at a time. We'd wait for them to come to the vault to get their password reset, jump them, tie them up, then move on to the next one. We ended up with a pile of like 8 guys tied up in the corner before they figured out what was going on and stopped cooperating. Again, good times Tongue

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22-10-2015, 11:06 PM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 10:08 AM)Tonechaser77 Wrote:  This is an interesting subject that I have often thought about since my deconversion. I'm still undecided. However, since then I have spanked my kids a lot less and tried a lot harder to come up with nuanced punishments that fit the crime. Sometimes spanking is the short way out because parents don't want to put the effort into figuring out how different situations should be handled with different decisions.

I'm somewhat surprised that no one has made the attempt to cite actual studies involving spanking. If the data is measurable, we should be surveying it to see if this is in fact the best way to punish, given all other variables and potential actions.

Here is a link that leads to several studies that have been done:

Psychological studies on spanking

Too much info, not really sure how to parse it. I start with wikipedia always Tongue

Quote:Some scientists have claimed that "non‑abusive" spanking is not harmful.[10] Dr. Durrant, on the other hand, argues that "over 100" studies have shown that spanking can be harmful to children. She asserts that spanking inhibits children's cognitive development and predicts various mental illnesses in adulthood. Dr. Durrant maintains that no study has demonstrated any long‑term benefit to spanking.[28] Dr. Alan Kazdin, psychology professor at Yale University and former president of the American Psychological Association, echoed Dr. Durrant's assertion in 2012, saying, "There is no need for corporal punishment based on the research. We are not giving up an effective technique. We are saying this is a horrible thing that does not work".[10]

Bolding mine.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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23-10-2015, 04:29 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
(22-10-2015 07:20 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(22-10-2015 07:15 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I hate physical contact - even a hug or a touch. Physical contact is too tied to hurt. I still recoil when someone tries to even just touch my hand. I can't seem to shake it.

Sucks...

I don't hate it but it feels awkward to me. I have trained myself to not react at all when someone touches me. I don't want to recoil.

Me too.
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23-10-2015, 07:02 AM
RE: Parenting: "Whoopings"/Spanking your kids/Other forms of discipline
You guys have my sympathy about this aversion to touch. I was so fortunate that my mom and dad broke the chain on each side of the family.
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