Parenting with a believer rant
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13-12-2013, 02:40 PM
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
was your wife abused by any chance? or something like that? that bitchy reaction sounds like there's something weird going on...

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13-12-2013, 02:51 PM (This post was last modified: 13-12-2013 02:56 PM by Gordon.)
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(04-12-2013 08:26 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  because it looks like she's going to have a killer body when she grows up.

Interesting observation...dad. I'm worried about something long before then. Confused

Quote:I'm getting professional couples counseling asap.

Do go to the counseling, by all means.
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13-12-2013, 03:00 PM
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(13-12-2013 02:51 PM)Gordon Wrote:  
(04-12-2013 08:26 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  because it looks like she's going to have a killer body when she grows up.

Interesting observation...dad. I'm worried about something long before then. Confused

Quote:I'm getting professional couples counseling asap.

Do go to the counseling, by all means.

prejudiced much?

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13-12-2013, 03:36 PM
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(13-12-2013 02:32 PM)Nick Danger Wrote:  This is really something you don’t have to worry about now, chances are that by the time your daughter is that age she is going to have a few things to say about it herself. I raised four daughters, believe me, she will have some things to say.

Nick is right. I raised three daughters and believe me they'll carve out their own decisions pretty much - sometimes more than you'd wish.

I do disagree with the wife's statement "when you have a vagina we'll talk..." Because parenting by two parents - well takes TWO............. not one having ownership over a particular area. Now her being a woman she might have more Input BUT no...you should not be excluded entirely from your daughters 'girl-ness'.

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13-12-2013, 04:43 PM
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(13-12-2013 03:36 PM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 02:32 PM)Nick Danger Wrote:  This is really something you don’t have to worry about now, chances are that by the time your daughter is that age she is going to have a few things to say about it herself. I raised four daughters, believe me, she will have some things to say.

Nick is right. I raised three daughters and believe me they'll carve out their own decisions pretty much - sometimes more than you'd wish.

I do disagree with the wife's statement "when you have a vagina we'll talk..." Because parenting by two parents - well takes TWO............. not one having ownership over a particular area. Now her being a woman she might have more Input BUT no...you should not be excluded entirely from your daughters 'girl-ness'.

Yeah, both spouses need to learn to fight better. Ridicule directed at the other’s religious beliefs (or lack thereof) doesn’t accomplish anything, both parties are guilty of this.

But the most important rule, let it go. Have your fight, have your say, let it go. If she wants to forget the whole thing and go to bed, then you need to learn to do that.

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13-12-2013, 07:17 PM
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(13-12-2013 03:00 PM)nach_in Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 02:51 PM)Gordon Wrote:  Interesting observation...dad. I'm worried about something long before then. Confused


Do go to the counseling, by all means.

prejudiced much?

I hope that you aren’t inferring here that dad’s observation about his daughter is necessarily salacious. As the father of four daughters and even more granddaughters, most of whom are stunningly beautiful, I can tell you that a father and/or a grandfather is allowed to be cognizant of the fact that his daughter or granddaughter has a killer figure. If you think that implies anything untoward, then the problem is yours.

BTW, if that wasn’t your inference, then, nevermind.

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13-12-2013, 07:29 PM
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(13-12-2013 07:17 PM)Nick Danger Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 03:00 PM)nach_in Wrote:  prejudiced much?

I hope that you aren’t inferring here that dad’s observation about his daughter is necessarily salacious. As the father of four daughters and even more granddaughters, most of whom are stunningly beautiful, I can tell you that a father and/or a grandfather is allowed to be cognizant of the fact that his daughter or granddaughter has a killer figure. If you think that implies anything untoward, then the problem is yours.

BTW, if that wasn’t your inference, then, nevermind.

I thinks that it was what he was trying to say. He's a prick but whatever.
I was molested when I was little and believe me I find it the inferences Gordon was trying to make more repulsive than he ever will.

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13-12-2013, 07:35 PM (This post was last modified: 13-12-2013 07:58 PM by Free Thought.)
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(04-12-2013 08:26 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  I feel there's more of these to come but i need to rant somewhere and since I have no atheist friends I hope this does the trick.

Our oldest daughter is 5. My wife brings up the issue of how we're going to have problems with boys (or girls) once she grows up because it looks like she's going to have a killer body when she grows up. I start asking how we're going to approach the issue when she is 13 and interested in boys (or girls, you never know).

My wife starts telling me off that she's not going to date until she's at least 16.
And I start asking questions. "Why 16? You were having sex at 13, isnt it hypocritical to burden her with expectations you didnt live up to? Why do you feel used, etc?"
She shuts me down with "now that you're an atheist anything goes. I'm not going to let her make the same mistakes". I respond, yes when I dont have a dictator in the sky I'm able to question things a bit. I ask,"why do you feel like it was a mistake?", she says "dont bring religion into this!". (Facepalm) I go "What? you brought up atheism in the first place".
She says "you would never understand because you dont have a vagina", I respond "That's why I'm asking questions, I sincerely want to understand how you feel".
She replies "we'll talk when you grow a vagina"
aaargghghghgAngry
I had to walk out of the room and rant.
Thanks for reading
I'm getting professional coupes counseling asap. Weeping
I also dont know what age is appropate for her to date. I feel like is more of a maturity question and age might be arbitrary. Thoughts?

Your wife doesn't seem to be very rational in this discussion... It's possible that she is projecting her regrets and insecurities onto your daughter, but I don't know her personally so I don't think I can render judgement of that sort...

I will say that the both of you have had far more active lives than I am having! So power to you for that.

Good luck with your daughter, and you both have my condolences for when the teen years hit; I'm still living through my own sister's bitchy evil.

[Edit: spelling]

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13-12-2013, 07:36 PM
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(13-12-2013 02:40 PM)nach_in Wrote:  was your wife abused by any chance? or something like that? that bitchy reaction sounds like there's something weird going on...

She was I'm afraid to say. And she is an adopted baby. She has some anger management issues and used to be at times emotionally and verbally abusive when I was a believer. I obviously had to be a "godly" husband. Once I became an unbeliever, I stopped letting her walk all over me and it took a few nasty fights but the abuse stopped from her. Nowadays we are in a better relationship than she had when I was a believer mostly because we stopped having ridiculous bible based expectations of each other. Once in a while her issues come up but we settle them quite quickly now.

Having said that, I think we still need counseling to work out some rough edges but overall we're doing much better than when we were going to church.

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13-12-2013, 07:49 PM
RE: Parenting with a believer rant
(13-12-2013 07:36 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 02:40 PM)nach_in Wrote:  was your wife abused by any chance? or something like that? that bitchy reaction sounds like there's something weird going on...

She was I'm afraid to say. And she is an adopted baby. She has some anger management issues and used to be at times emotionally and verbally abusive when I was a believer. I obviously had to be a "godly" husband. Once I became an unbeliever, I stopped letting her walk all over me and it took a few nasty fights but the abuse stopped from her. Nowadays we are in a better relationship than she had when I was a believer mostly because we stopped having ridiculous bible based expectations of each other. Once in a while her issues come up but we settle them quite quickly now.

Having said that, I think we still need counseling to work out some rough edges but overall we're doing much better than when we were going to church.

Yeah, that sounded it had that kind of deeper roots. Go to counseling, it's amazing how much it can help, my parents did it after a rather nasty fight and it helped them more than they dare to aknowledge Tongue

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