Parents: What's Your Take on This?
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10-04-2013, 05:17 PM (This post was last modified: 10-04-2013 05:36 PM by Peanut.)
Parents: What's Your Take on This?
I work at a well-known retail store and I've been there more than five and half years. I have seen and experienced many exciting, funny, crazy and scary things while working there. One thing that sticks out to me a lot of the time are the instances where I see parents with their children. I am a parent and I love children. I love saying hi to them when they come through my lane and I like to play "peek-a-boo" with the really little ones. There are times, like what happened yesterday, that get me thinking.

It was about an hour before the end of my shift and I was cleaning up my work area. I had a headache and kept willing the clock to move faster! I just wanted to go home.

Then I heard an obnoxious noise in the distance. I remember commenting to a fellow team member that "it sounds like a baby dinosaur is trolling the store!" It was this incessant whine and it kept getting closer and closer to the front lanes. (When this happens, myself and the other cashiers make "bets" as to who will get the guest with the "unruly" child and also who would be able to ring up and end the transaction quickest. We get bored easily and find joy and entertainment in the smallest of instances. Sue us.) There was only one other cashier on the lanes and she has two daughters, one of which is my age. This particular cashier is very vocal about that which irritates her or "grinds her gears." I like to think of myself as diplomatic in most situations. I see everybody's perspective and can keep my personal beliefs about that subject on the back-burner in order to deliver a more unbiased opinion.

She says, "Jeez! Parents need to realize when it's time to leave the damn store!"

"I've been hearing it for the last ten minutes. I know, I hope the mom or dad isn't just shopping around while their kid yells at the top of their lungs. If they have a bunch of clothes in their cart, I'm gonna be even more irritated."

"No. When a child is freaking out like that, it's a proven FACT that they are tired or hungry. The mom should have left the second the kid started throwing a fit. Some people are unfit to be parents."

I pondered that statement for a second before saying, "I've been there before. I do not tolerate Billy throwing a tantrum in a store, but there are times I NEED to shop. I can't let him dictate when I can and can't get important things done. I think it should be looked at from individual cases... Besides, I can't say a parent is "bad" if their kid is crying throughout the store. What if they ran out of formula?!"

"A GOOD parent would never run out of formula. It's all an excuse. They let their kids walk all over them."

A guest appeared right then and we went about helping them and dropped the conversation.

The noise seemed to have died down for about five minutes, but I was busy doing other things that I didn't even notice. This lady appeared at my lane with a cart that had a car seat resting at the top and this little boy in tow. The little dude was probably four years old and his eyes were rimmed with red and he seemed to be having trouble breathing... That's when I realized he was the "baby dinosaur." He was at the phase in his tantrum where he was indeed trying to catch his breath while at the same time, trying come up with a stronger tactic to plead his case.

I greeted the mother with a genuine smile. (I had already developed a sympathetic attitude in regards to her current situation. I would not judge her.) She seemed a little frazzled. I went about ringing up her items and the boy didn't say much other than, "Mom! I really...*hiccup* want a toy! *hiccup*" She refused and at one point, even bent down to face him.

"Your behavior is inappropriate. I told you we weren't going to be getting any toys. And you crying like this would never get you anything."

(Good mommy. I like her style; She didn't yell at him, she didn't ignore him and she got down to his level in order to reason with him.)

The transaction was rather dull and otherwise uneventful. The boy didn't get his toy and I wished mom to "have a better day!"

I WILL comment on the fact that other guests were staring at her and didn't even seem to care that they were doing it. I remember watching her look up, as though she felt eyes on her back. She looked around and then gave a sheepish smile. I felt badly for her. I put myself in HER shoes. I couldn't imagine the pressure she was under to keep her cool. If she were to say anything more sternly to her son, she probably would've gotten criticism and had she ignored the boy, she would've gotten criticism. It is a no-win situation and I believe she handled it in a respectable manner.

Not long after she left, the cashier with whom I was debating about "bad parenting" earlier commented that I "could have moved the transaction along faster."

"I was fast! My speed score was green! You just got irritated and time seemed to have stopped or move slowly. Gimme your hangers."

Parents, how do you feel about this? Do you think that parents should just leave a store or other establishment all because their child is throwing a fit? Do you think it's fair for others to judge their parenting based on a SINGLE instance? How would you, or DID you, handle a situation such as the one mentioned?

I don't mind if "non parents" state their opinion; It'll make for a lively discussion. Cool

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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10-04-2013, 05:34 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
I would've pulled out, personally. Drinking Beverage

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10-04-2013, 05:38 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
(10-04-2013 05:34 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I would've pulled out, personally. Drinking Beverage

"Pulled out," as in "I wouldn't even have a child because I'd 'pull out' before..." Consider

Or do you mean you'd "pull out" and leave the store right when the kid started freaking out? Drinking Beverage

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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10-04-2013, 05:40 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
Pulled out/Butt-nut.

Laughat

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10-04-2013, 05:46 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
So eloquently stated, Miso. I should've expected that.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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10-04-2013, 05:49 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
I have a way with words, what can I say? Tongue

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10-04-2013, 06:03 PM (This post was last modified: 10-04-2013 06:14 PM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
As a parent...I don't give a shit about the icy stares of others. I demand my children behave properly in stores. I never point out bad behavior of other people's children.

I had a problem just a couple times when the boys were small. Once I carried my older son out of the park by the back of his Osh Kosh's and another time I walked out of the supermarket, leaving behind a basket full of groceries. The second was just for mild whining.

Honestly, my kids were taught from the time they could walk, to always hold a grown up's hand and to never make a scene in public. Grocery stores are not playgrounds.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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10-04-2013, 06:13 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
"Man, if dat be mah kid, I be like,

AW HELL NAW, SHUT DA FUCK UP LITTLE NIGGA

[Image: scrubs-beating.gif]

AND THEN I BE LIKE, LEARN YO PLACE YOU LITTLE PUSSY-ASS NIGGA."

In all seriousness, non-parents always seem to think they know more about parenting than actual parents.

[Image: Untitled-2.png?_subject_uid=322943157&am...Y7Dzq4lJog]
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10-04-2013, 06:26 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
OH! I find it EXTREMELY amusing when non-parents give their input. Smile

All I think is, "Just you wait... Just wait. Tell me it's "easy" raising a kid or how much insight you had before having a child is relevant after having a toddler in your house for a few months...!"

Smile Sadcryface2 It's not easy being a super awesome parent...

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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10-04-2013, 06:38 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
I suppose it depends how long the child acted up and how much longer you needed to shop.
You don't want to let the child get their own way (by either relenting or by leaving the premises as then they would know how to manipulate their parents).

I think she handled it quite well (although we don't know her particular circumstances and how many times this has happened).
Generally, when a child knows they're not going to get anything out of it by acting up, it stops and in the normal course of things it only takes a couple of times for them to realize that.
Of course, problem children are different and all children learn at different rates.

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