Parents: What's Your Take on This?
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10-04-2013, 07:22 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
(10-04-2013 06:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  As a parent...I don't give a shit about the icy stares of others. I demand my children behave properly in stores. I never point out bad behavior of other people's children.

I had a problem just a couple times when the boys were small. Once I carried my older son out of the park by the back of his Osh Kosh's and another time I walked out of the supermarket, leaving behind a basket full of groceries. The second was just for mild whining.

Honestly, my kids were taught from the time they could walk, to always hold a grown up's hand and to never make a scene in public. Grocery stores are not playgrounds.

This...
Mine are spaced out (in age and other ways at times) and they were about 10, 6, and 2. The older two were not behaving well at all. I told them if they didn't stop bickering in the store we would leave. Having been a single mom or a mom whose husband was on the road a lot they had gotten away with it before knowing I could only go shopping if they were with me. Not that day, I had had my 'nough (as my sister would say). Two warnings then I pushed the cart to customer service, apologized but said the kids wouldn't behave and I was removing them from the store.
It was a pain in rear for me to have to go back and shop all over again but I didn't ever have to say it more than once and eventually just the 'mom look' was enough. They knew I wasn't playing any more.
Effective and less stressful to shop from then on.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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10-04-2013, 07:51 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
I've heard of moms leaving a full cart at the check out because they had had enough.

I've never been pushed that far, but I can admit that I'd not think twice about doing it. I'd rather have to go shop all over again than let my kids run around, acting like douchebags.

I HATE it when parents bribe their kids right when they get to the store to "be good and you'll get a treat!" FUCK THAT.

"Be good...PERIOD." My son will get "the look," and he will look away because he KNOWS he's getting close to mom's breaking point. Drinking Beverage NO KID WANTS to get "the look" from mom or dad. (I wasn't even aware I'd have one of my own until I had my son.") Also, if he hears me say, "William Jack!" he knows he's in trouble. When a parent uses your first and middle name, something is 'bout to go down!

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10-04-2013, 08:06 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
To this day, all I have to do is raise my eyebrow at any of them.

They will say...don't look at me in that tone of voice.

They are now 26, 31 and 35...it still works.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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10-04-2013, 08:18 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
(10-04-2013 07:51 PM)Peanut Wrote:  I've heard of moms leaving a full cart at the check out because they had had enough.

I've never been pushed that far, but I can admit that I'd not think twice about doing it. I'd rather have to go shop all over again than let my kids run around, acting like douchebags.

I HATE it when parents bribe their kids right when they get to the store to "be good and you'll get a treat!" FUCK THAT.

"Be good...PERIOD." My son will get "the look," and he will look away because he KNOWS he's getting close to mom's breaking point. Drinking Beverage NO KID WANTS to get "the look" from mom or dad. (I wasn't even aware I'd have one of my own until I had my son.") Also, if he hears me say, "William Jack!" he knows he's in trouble. When a parent uses your first and middle name, something is 'bout to go down!

I left a cart filled with stuff in the middle of aisle three of Safeway! As I left the store I told my then favorite checker there was meat and ice cream in the cart, where they could find it and why. And we never had to bribe them either.

My kid learned. Honestly.

Even in restaurants the server would ask if we wanted the kids food right away and my husband would always chime in with a firm, "no they'll eat when we eat" No shenanigans in restaurants either.

In fact when we moved to Portland we were appalled at "common toys" in restaurants where children were allowed to run back and forth between the table and the toys! No games at the table, either. Sure we'd let them color on the menus for the kids...but a three year old a couple feet tall and servers carrying large platters of food is NEVER good or safe thing! This wasn't like a Chuck E Cheese either. It was a pub!

When our youngest was around 4 we went to a very nice restaurant. They stuck us in a corner...lol. Probably anticipated an issue with our children. Not our kids, napkins in their laps, and they spoke kindly to wait staff.

The next time we visited, we were seated at the front. The owner gave our boys free dessert!

They shared a Jack Daniel's bread pudding and slept all the way home! We were exceptionally proud of them.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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10-04-2013, 08:22 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
(10-04-2013 08:06 PM)Anjele Wrote:  To this day, all I have to do is raise my eyebrow at any of them.

They will say...don't look at me in that tone of voice.

They are now 26, 31 and 35...it still works.

I love that! Yes!!! It does still work with my oldest (he's 19) too. My younger son...well he's always well behaved...almost wish he would act up in a "normal" or "typical" way.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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10-04-2013, 09:00 PM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
We didn't worry that our son would act out or play in a store or other place because we played with him in those places. And because he saw us enjoying ourselves in a respectful manner, he learned how to do so as well. If he couldn't have a toy when we went to a store, we explained to him exactly why he couldn't have one and he accepted the explanation and went on about being a child. He understood when to be quiet because he was told why it is necessary to be quiet sometimes and that if we (not just he) weren't quiet at that time or place, why people might be annoyed. We used very little discipline with him, instead opting for earning his respect by offering him ours and if we had another child, there would be no discipline or coercion whatever.

My father taught me to say yes sir and no sire by embarrassing me in front of other people when I didn't say them. I still remember how unpleasant those times were. I taught my son to say yes sir and no sir by saying yes sir and no sir to him. At 26, he still says it with genuine respect to all who earn it and, like the example he was given, not to those who don't.

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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11-04-2013, 06:21 AM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
(10-04-2013 08:06 PM)Anjele Wrote:  To this day, all I have to do is raise my eyebrow at any of them.

They will say...don't look at me in that tone of voice.

They are now 26, 31 and 35...it still works.


Son #1: "How is it that Mom can still push my buttons?"

Son #2: "Well, she installed them!"

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11-04-2013, 09:20 AM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
My daughter still cringes at the "dad look". I got lucky with her though. Never, not even once, has she had a fit in public. She learned very young that in public places we maintain our composure and quiet.

That being said, the two of us like to have fun. A common "game" we have played since she was 12ish is she will kinda follow me at a distance, and then I'll start asking her where her mommy is, and suggest she go find her. She has a twisted sense of humor, just like her old man.

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11-04-2013, 09:53 AM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
(11-04-2013 06:21 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(10-04-2013 08:06 PM)Anjele Wrote:  To this day, all I have to do is raise my eyebrow at any of them.

They will say...don't look at me in that tone of voice.

They are now 26, 31 and 35...it still works.


Son #1: "How is it that Mom can still push my buttons?"

Son #2: "Well, she installed them!"

This is getting sent to my kids!

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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11-04-2013, 10:03 AM
RE: Parents: What's Your Take on This?
My thoughts are pretty much this (at 7:03)






And it is not also possible to predict if the kid is hungry or tired even. Even if that is the case. My son is just over a year old and will scream and get mad when hungry, but will often times not eat anything we give him. So, we have little options at hand when a hungry kid won't eat. And as for tired, my son is very fickle about taking naps when we are out and we do indeed have to go out with him during the day. If he happens to fall asleep in the car, he will not go back to sleep after you take him out.

Good parenting does not mean always keeping your son/daughter from crying.

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