Parents want to send me to a religious community
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06-08-2015, 09:43 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
In America we have 911 to call in an emergency, I am sure you have some version of that in Poland, they could send an ambulance or police to you to transport you to the hospital?


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06-08-2015, 09:46 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 09:41 AM)Marsillya Wrote:  
(06-08-2015 09:13 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  what about a local hospital? go to the ER, tell them you are suicidal. are there any suicide prevention hotlines?

what country or city are you in?

I live in poland.
I've been to a hospital a few times in my life and it has always been a somewhat traumatic experience. Our health care sucks.
Assuming we have great hospitals I am still unable to go out. I only barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom and eat.
I'm sorry I...well it's ok if there's no way out. I'm sorry don't think I posted here to get attention.

Kid, it's OK. This is a section for support, you'll naturally have some attention. 'Sides we're all just talkative anyway.

Are you depressed because of the religion thing or... is there other stuff?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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06-08-2015, 10:18 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 09:43 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  In America we have 911 to call in an emergency, I am sure you have some version of that in Poland, they could send an ambulance or police to you to transport you to the hospital?

But I don't have a working phone...

(06-08-2015 09:46 AM)morondog Wrote:  Kid, it's OK. This is a section for support, you'll naturally have some attention. 'Sides we're all just talkative anyway.

Are you depressed because of the religion thing or... is there other stuff?

I think I have some symptoms as a result of religious upbringing and stuff like parents telling me I'm posessed and evil or at least I don't know what I think or feel and whatever I do only hurts myself.
There's definitely an issue of lack of support, my parents never really knew what they were doing in terms of caring for a child.
Then when I told them I didnt believe in god I was cast out in more or less subtle ways. Just to show you how much they suck - my older sister had a major nervous breakdown last year. She spent 6 months in a mental hospital, she had to be heavily sedated for most of the time. She's still on massive doses of serious medication. I'm not sure what her condition is - we never talk.
Ok to sum up, I know there are more proximate and more ultimate causes for my depression but I don't have much detail because I was never in a serious therapy.
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06-08-2015, 10:22 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
Yes, this section is for support, even if it is empathetic support. Just vent away. You need not feel bad about anything.

I can't believe that your aunt, with whom you are living with and who sees you struggling would willingly not talk to your parents into getting the help you need because of her religion. This is outrageous.
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06-08-2015, 10:26 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
Hmm. Perhaps you could give the Catholic therapy a try? It will give you the opportunity at least to talk to someone other than your parents. Religious people aren't all bad - mostly just... stuck on religious stuff rather than real world stuff - and maybe you'll connect with someone who can help you?

Also if you're young you can play the in-the-closet game with some success. Your parents *want* to believe that you're a good little Christian, if it would make life easier for you, *let them believe it*, I know you said you outed yourself already but because they're crazy and they want to believe it, if you tell them that you've thought it over and realised the truth they will probably be easy to lie to - just throwing it out there as an option, if you feel that you can't do the lying thing that's also good.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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06-08-2015, 10:34 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
im so sorry you are going through this.
I can't imagine being in your particular situation, but I have also struggled with depression and thoughts suicide before. I can tell you this... It isn't worth it. I know that life is a bitch, but the alternative is nothingness. When we die, we cease to exist. There is no going back. That is what makes this life so precious, and in my opinion, makes it much more precious than religious people think it is. Please try to seek help. You can come to this forum, and we will do our best to console you, but local help would probably be best. If you need someone to talk to one on one, I will gladly give you my number through a private message, and you can text me. I'm no therapist, but I know that in my experience with depression, just having someone to talk to, who showed me that they cared, helped tremendously.
Be strong, my friend.
hugs from the U.S.
Edit: just saw that you do not have a working phone. :/
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06-08-2015, 10:58 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
Guys I'm so moved.... I know it might sound ridiculous but I have never received such support from anyone.
My aunt doesn't live with me, she comes by to give me food but she feels she shouldn't interfere any more than that.
morondog I see Your point... I guess I still have a kind of irrational fear of catholics. I don't think it's a result of one traumatic experience. It's hard to explain to people because usual response would be "what had a catholic ever done to you?". It's a few of things for sure. It hurts me to even try to remember one. Each time I try harder I just have a full on panick attack. I clearly need proffesional compassionate and secular help but here in poland I just don't know how to find it. Oh yeah there's this issue - I don't get along with polish people. I don't feel...like I'm one of them. I feel like I don't belong. I guess I might sound a bit like this girl in the news not a long time ago - a white woman that said she was black. I know I am polish, I'm not crazy that way. But for example when I was in uni I struggled to study from polish textbooks. Something just changes for me with language. Damn this might sound insane. I swear it's not very bad.
Thank you for letting me get off my chest.
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06-08-2015, 11:05 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
Do you have a doctor that you see for checkups or minor illnesses? If so, I would make an appointment and ask the doctor for a referral to appropriate counseling that will fit your symptoms and your financial resources.

I can't quite understand what is going on with your medications and how your parents are involved in keeping them from you. Did your prescriptions run out, or are you not able to afford medication? I ask because if meds have helped you in the past, and now you aren't on them and feel things are deteriorating, probably a high priority is to get onto them again. Maybe A visit to the provider who gave you the meds in the first place would help?

When I'm in a stressed or depressed state, it helps me to vent in a sympathetic spot, such as here. It also helps for me to sit down and write for a while, with the goal first of making sense of my feelings, but then going a step beyond that and writing a list of next steps to take. Once I have plans to deal with the problem, I feel more calm about it. Writing things down might also help you in your talks with your parents, so that you can clearly tell them what kind of help you would like and why you think it will work better than what they are suggesting.

I hope things get better for you soon.
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06-08-2015, 11:11 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
We're all nuts one way or another Wink Especially if you're a teenager you're gonna be nuttier than usual, that's just how things are. So one thing you need to recognise about being depressed is that it might not really be *you*, it might be that your hormones are going crazy and driving you to thoughts of suicide and so on.

Another thing to recognise is that therapy - secular or not - may not be the thing that saves you. It's maybe part of the solution... Since you have this hang up about Catholics then it's maybe better not to go for that... Hmm. I'd suggest do a little googling and see if you can't find somewhere close to you that offers a better kind of therapy than the one your parents are suggesting.

If you can't find therapy my suggestion would be a sport group. Are you in school at all? Sport or some kind of activity (maybe music) is a good way to meet people and to take your mind off being depressed.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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06-08-2015, 11:20 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
The most important question is what are you on medications for?

Secondly, you mentioned getting panic attacks. Are you sure they are panic attacks? Do feel like you can't breath at all suddenly or that you are suffocating? You also mentioned that you are trying not to remember. Both these things point towards history of possible abuse you may have suffered. I suggest you tell your parents what happened to you and why you can't go where they want you to go.
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