Parents want to send me to a religious community
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06-08-2015, 11:34 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
I completely understand that feeling of not belonging. I have been having that discussion with my wife a lot here recently. I live in the middle of the Bible Belt, so my immediate family, extended family, peers, EVERYONE around me is religious conservatives, and I'm a liberal atheist. They are all so shallow-minded and pedantic, that if you try to make them actually think about something in depth, they get uncomfortable and offended. The only information they get about politics, current events, etc, is why they see on Fox News or the like. The only music they listen to is the meaningless crap they play on the radio. They never fully appreciate anything. They don't dig deeper or ever try to find the true meaning behind something. It's horrible. I've always been an introvert, who is most often lost in thought, and it is so upsetting to me to see them live and die for nothing. God, guns, and 'Murica, that's all they pretend to care about. IMHO, if they really cared about anything, they would try to find a deeper understanding of it, rather than floating through life without any real substance. From one black sheep to another, you just gotta learn to let it be, and live your own life, rather than worrying about theirs.
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06-08-2015, 11:38 AM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 05:22 AM)Marsillya Wrote:  I apologize in advance if this post turns out chaotic.
I am depressed. Since my parents cut me off and I lost my medication it's gotten much worse. I also have symptoms of religious trauma syndrome.
I reached a point of such desperation that a few days ago I wrote to my parents. Once again, I told them I needed medication and therapy. Their response was...
They want me to go to some kind of a...catholic rehab?...i couldnt stand being on it's website for too long. I am not even addicted to anything!
They ignored my request for a doctor and gave me this one solution. Because they "believe it will help". I know I cant tell them about RTS - it would only reinforce their belief that I'm possessed by a demon.
I am afraid. Teriffied. I have no phone, no one to talk to, no one on my side. In my country most people that want to help are really religious.
Every day without proper medication and therapy I feel worse. Mentally and physically. I am afraid I might become suicidal. I'm not strong enough to live surrounded and completely controlled by ultra fundamentalist catholics. I just cant. you have no idea...It would be like a rape victim forced to live with the person that raped them. I know it's a hyperbole, I don't mean to offend anyone.
I'm posting here because I thought maybe I'm missing something and there's an obivious solution. If not, at least I was able to share it.

Where are you living and what are you currently investing your time in? Are you working or going to school?

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06-08-2015, 01:10 PM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 11:05 AM)julep Wrote:  Do you have a doctor that you see for checkups or minor illnesses? If so, I would make an appointment and ask the doctor for a referral to appropriate counseling that will fit your symptoms and your financial resources.

I can't quite understand what is going on with your medications and how your parents are involved in keeping them from you. Did your prescriptions run out, or are you not able to afford medication? I ask because if meds have helped you in the past, and now you aren't on them and feel things are deteriorating, probably a high priority is to get onto them again. Maybe A visit to the provider who gave you the meds in the first place would help?

When I'm in a stressed or depressed state, it helps me to vent in a sympathetic spot, such as here. It also helps for me to sit down and write for a while, with the goal first of making sense of my feelings, but then going a step beyond that and writing a list of next steps to take. Once I have plans to deal with the problem, I feel more calm about it. Writing things down might also help you in your talks with your parents, so that you can clearly tell them what kind of help you would like and why you think it will work better than what they are suggesting.

I hope things get better for you soon.
My last appointment was in January. After that I had a break from my medication but then I started taking it again and it really worked. In early June my parents stopped supporting me financially (I was completely dependent on them).
Since then I haven't been able to get a doctor's appointment(she requires payment) or to buy medication. Obviously any effective psychotherapy is off the table with no money.
Thank you for the advice and kind words!
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06-08-2015, 01:21 PM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 11:11 AM)morondog Wrote:  We're all nuts one way or another Wink Especially if you're a teenager you're gonna be nuttier than usual, that's just how things are. So one thing you need to recognise about being depressed is that it might not really be *you*, it might be that your hormones are going crazy and driving you to thoughts of suicide and so on.

Another thing to recognise is that therapy - secular or not - may not be the thing that saves you. It's maybe part of the solution... Since you have this hang up about Catholics then it's maybe better not to go for that... Hmm. I'd suggest do a little googling and see if you can't find somewhere close to you that offers a better kind of therapy than the one your parents are suggesting.

If you can't find therapy my suggestion would be a sport group. Are you in school at all? Sport or some kind of activity (maybe music) is a good way to meet people and to take your mind off being depressed.

Just for the record - I'm 21. It was my birthday yesterday actually Smile
I never really knew who the "real me" was.

I think that the right therapy paired with appropriate medication is the most effective way for me. The thing is that catholic place isn't even a therapy. It's a community for "lost souls". If I haven't made things complicated enough before - I have a real issue with any kind of closed facility. I've had multiple traumas regarding hospitals and I just could not live, let alone get better in a hospital now. Regardless, I looked for a place many many times and there's just nothing I could find for myself.
I'm not in school. No activity, no hobbies. I mean I'm not passionate about anything. My theory is it's a defense mechanism - my parents used to take away anything I started to enjoy (like my pets, kickboxing training, certain books, posters in my room).
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06-08-2015, 01:31 PM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 11:20 AM)π¶∆ Wrote:  The most important question is what are you on medications for?

Secondly, you mentioned getting panic attacks. Are you sure they are panic attacks? Do feel like you can't breath at all suddenly or that you are suffocating? You also mentioned that you are trying not to remember. Both these things point towards history of possible abuse you may have suffered. I suggest you tell your parents what happened to you and why you can't go where they want you to go.

The medication I was taking was an anti-anxiety antidepressant. It also helped with sleeping problems.
Yes actually. Sadly, I never got the chance to discuss it with a doctor so I suppose I can't use the term in a technical sense.
Abuse, exactly. It's just a very broad term, sadly many people forget that emotional abuse is a thing - I mean psychologists. I actually told my mum the little I am able to remember but she's stuck...She "believes"(which equals "knows" to her) that it will help. In her mind religion and faith is pure good, answer to all life's problems, etc. When I tell her about trauma related to religion it ends up being taken against me. Like I am evil for being traumatised by such a good thing.
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06-08-2015, 01:34 PM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 11:38 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  Where are you living and what are you currently investing your time in? Are you working or going to school?

So I have a single room in a flat. There are 3 other people living here, we're not on very good terms, fortunately they are rarely home.

I spend my time in this very room. That's pretty much it.
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06-08-2015, 02:07 PM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 01:31 PM)Marsillya Wrote:  
(06-08-2015 11:20 AM)π¶∆ Wrote:  The most important question is what are you on medications for?

Secondly, you mentioned getting panic attacks. Are you sure they are panic attacks? Do feel like you can't breath at all suddenly or that you are suffocating? You also mentioned that you are trying not to remember. Both these things point towards history of possible abuse you may have suffered. I suggest you tell your parents what happened to you and why you can't go where they want you to go.

The medication I was taking was an anti-anxiety antidepressant. It also helped with sleeping problems.
Yes actually. Sadly, I never got the chance to discuss it with a doctor so I suppose I can't use the term in a technical sense.
Abuse, exactly. It's just a very broad term, sadly many people forget that emotional abuse is a thing - I mean psychologists. I actually told my mum the little I am able to remember but she's stuck...She "believes"(which equals "knows" to her) that it will help. In her mind religion and faith is pure good, answer to all life's problems, etc. When I tell her about trauma related to religion it ends up being taken against me. Like I am evil for being traumatised by such a good thing.

Can you be more specific to what kind of emotional abuse you suffered?

If you feel suicidal, it is very important that you get in touch with a doctor immediately.
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06-08-2015, 04:11 PM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
Lots of good advice in this thread Smile

Szuchow lives in Poland. He might have some ideas that can help you. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Hug

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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06-08-2015, 04:54 PM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 02:07 PM)π¶∆ Wrote:  If you feel suicidal, it is very important that you get in touch with a doctor immediately.
I appreciate the advice but I have no way of doing that.

Jennybee thank you, I'll text him
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06-08-2015, 05:28 PM
RE: Parents want to send me to a religious community
(06-08-2015 04:54 PM)Marsillya Wrote:  
(06-08-2015 02:07 PM)π¶∆ Wrote:  If you feel suicidal, it is very important that you get in touch with a doctor immediately.
I appreciate the advice but I have no way of doing that.

Jennybee thank you, I'll text him

Hug Jennybee's suggestion sounds good. You have a lot of people here that are concerned about you. Keep posting so we know what's going on and can keep in touch with you.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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