People make me so pissed
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24-12-2013, 06:29 PM
People make me so pissed
One of my old best friends recently became pregnant. She's two months along and by the time she graduates she'll be about 8 months. She'll feel terrible when we walk at graduation, but on the bright side, she doesn't have to worry about taking care of a baby while in high school (or the alternative- dropping out of high school to take care of a baby.) She's against abortion, so she's not bummed that she's going to have a baby, it's just extremely unexpected for her.

Oh, but did I mention her boyfriend is a douche bag? He's cheated on her in the past, and lies often, and for months she'd contemplated leaving him (I supposed she wasn't strong enough, and, simply, too attached to him to do it sooner) ... but then the baby came along.

Whenever she told her parents about the pregnancy, she expected them to be very disappointed. But they were thankful the baby wouldn't interfere with her graduating, and seemed very supportive. A week after, she and her boyfriend planned to tell his parents.

I got a text message and a load of phone calls last night, and I was completely horrified and infuriated. Instead of even remotely handling the situation okay, his parents blamed her for the pregnancy (it obviously takes two...) and stated that the boyfriend could see the baby and would provide for the baby, but my friend and her boyfriend were no longer allowed to communicate or see each other. ON TOP OF THAT, her boyfriend went ahead and dumped her and admitted he had been cheating on her (this hadn't been the first time.)

First off, I can't believe how fucking retarded his parents can be? Could two low life pieces of shit really give birth to a bigger low life piece of shit? Because that's how the situation is seeming.

She's in complete shock and completely depressed, and I lack the sources to really provide her suitable... advice, or condolences. But as of now, she's looking into seeking child support after the baby is born. I just don't really know what to do, and I feel like a shit friend. She confides in me and another friend. The other friend and I are planning a girls night out; some movies, food, simple stuff, because she really needs to get out of her house... and out of her head. I thought my situation was unbearable, but I know how it feels to be trapped in your head, asking yourself what you did wrong, when you haven't done anything wrong at all. I don't want to think of her going through that.

People absolutely infuriate me.
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24-12-2013, 06:41 PM
RE: People make me so pissed
Quote: it's just extremely unexpected for her.
Is it? She thought that sex is just for fun and that babies are delivered by storks? Consider

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24-12-2013, 06:42 PM
RE: People make me so pissed
People suck. I'm glad your friend has her parents to rely on.

If that boy were my son, the outcome would be totally different. Undecided


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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24-12-2013, 06:57 PM
RE: People make me so pissed
That's a really shitty situation and I feel for your friend although I gotta say this probably isn't the smartest idea she's had. She's in for one hell of a ride.
She'll need a crapload of support from family and friends as it's a hard slog being a single parent.
Good luck to her.

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
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24-12-2013, 07:04 PM
RE: People make me so pissed
I feel bad for your friend.

The son seems to be the product of his parents and their upbringing. Dodgy

Hell yes, she should go for that child support - that boy needs to learn that he can't hide in behind his momma and poppa. He needs a dose of reality and child support payments would play a part in it. He's a douche thinking he can get away with it.

It's okay to feel out of your depth, Ferdy. This is something you've not experienced. It'll be a trial but if you're willing to offer support, make sure your friend knows that this is a situation that is new for you and that your intentions are good. There's no magical fix for this. It's just patience and time and new experiences.

*hugs*

Take care, Ferdy.

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24-12-2013, 07:51 PM
RE: People make me so pissed
This is just the beginning of a VERY long (at least 18 yrs) bumpy road.

would her putting the baby up for adoption be out of the question? There are open adoptions and part of the agreement is that mom is able to be in contact with the baby.

If not, then she needs to know that the courts usually separate child support and visitation….meaning even if he doesn't pay his child support he is still able to have visitation.

She also needs to keep a detailed journal of every conversation and text from here on out with everything….doctor visits, conversations with baby daddy and his family, appointments with any social services. Because when it gets ugly (and it usually does at some point), she will need ALL of those notes to make her case.

And right now, she needs to realize that every choice she makes will have a consequence. If she mouths off to him because she's angry-it will end up being brought up in court at some point. If the judge sees her as responsible and has her head on straight they will usually do what they can to work things out for her……especially if he is being a slack-ass jerk. But they can only do so much, and she has to keep herself in check even when she's furious.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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24-12-2013, 07:56 PM (This post was last modified: 24-12-2013 08:21 PM by Bows and Arrows.)
RE: People make me so pissed
also, she needs to look into the local laws regarding custody issues. Many of my friends share custody but problems arise when they want to move. In Texas, a few friends can move to neighboring counties, but no further. A friend in PA, in an ugly divorce with a psycho, can't move next door without approval from her ex. She is pinned to that house. Her choice is to give up custody or stay put, or get approval. It doesn't matter the great job, education, or family member in crisis back home that needs her-she's stuck there.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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