People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
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27-07-2014, 04:19 PM
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
I certainly don't abandon my friends when I enter one. Then again, I'm COMFORTABLE with myself and I would hope my partner is comfortable with themselves as well. So long as the other person isn't pursuing others, I see no reason why people should abandon their friends. Seems silly and immature to me. Unless they have self control issue. But if that is the case, I likely don't want to be with them anyway.

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27-07-2014, 06:43 PM
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
(27-07-2014 12:52 PM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  
(27-07-2014 12:36 PM)give me moon rocks Wrote:  A "friend" recently contacted me after breaking up with his girlfriend. He's been a serial monogamist as long as I've known him and getting him to hang out is like pulling teeth.

I just told him to fuck off. We're in our 30s and it blows my mind that anyone over the age of 15 does this or promotes this type of behavior. You need a healthy balance of seclusion, romance, and platonic relationships. Those who abandon their friends after getting a girlfriend or boyfriend are the types of people I respect the least.

Anyone know someone like this?

Well... I was going to say "me", but I'm not EXACTLY like that.

I have a strong sense of obligation and guilt that forces me to keep only a few close people in my life at any given time. If I keep too many friends, I start to feel like an asshole for not checking up on them or spending time with them; even if they're fine with that.

I do notice, however, that when I spend a lot of time with a girl, that through some mysterious mechanism, I somehow have LESS time to do other things? How is that possible, when there are unlimited hours in the day? Dodgy

I'm not suggesting that a person has to hang out with their friends every waking moment.
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27-07-2014, 07:43 PM
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
If I spend over 3 hours with friends in a week, I consider that a pretty social week. I have to rotate through my friends though as I have about 15 close friends that I like to spend time with. If I see you at least three times a year that means you are important to me. That's my situation at least.

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28-07-2014, 03:35 AM
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
I don't see why you wouldn't just have your new girlfriend/boyfriend and your regular friends hang out together. Seems logical.

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30-07-2014, 02:39 PM
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
I don't mind hanging out with a couple (assuming we all get along) but I think it's unreasonable to allow your significant other to tag along each time you hang out with someone. I know a dude who won't go anywhere without his wife.
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30-07-2014, 04:31 PM
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
I've dealt with situations like this. I think that, in the very beginnings of a relationship, it's natural to just be totally infatuated and want to spend every second with your S.O. However, even in those early stages, I don't think it's right to completely block out your friends, especially your closest ones. Obviously couples need their space and time spent with just the two of them. It's what people who like/love each other do. My best friend has been dating her boyfriend for a year now, but we still hang out a ton and she invites him out when we're doing group things. I'm a part of her life as he is part of her life, and she understands that.

I'm in agreement with you in that this kind of behavior is likened to teenagers. You wouldn't expect something like that out of a grown ass person, but people can be immature whether they're 17 or 57. I think you did the right thing in expressing your anger. Real friends don't do stuff like that.

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31-07-2014, 12:32 PM
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
Between work, wife, kids, siblings, parents and a little me time there is nothing left for friends.
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01-08-2014, 01:01 PM (This post was last modified: 01-08-2014 01:12 PM by Cathym112.)
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
(27-07-2014 12:36 PM)give me moon rocks Wrote:  A "friend" recently contacted me after breaking up with his girlfriend. He's been a serial monogamist as long as I've known him and getting him to hang out is like pulling teeth.

I just told him to fuck off. We're in our 30s and it blows my mind that anyone over the age of 15 does this or promotes this type of behavior. You need a healthy balance of seclusion, romance, and platonic relationships. Those who abandon their friends after getting a girlfriend or boyfriend are the types of people I respect the least.

Anyone know someone like this?

Sorry, since this isn't the support section, I can tell you that I whole heartedly agree.....With your Friend.

You are in your THIRTIES and taking personal offense to a man putting his partner above his friends? It sounds like you are the one thats needs to fuck off.

People come and go, sometimes more than once, from your life. Most of my friends and I see each other infrequently. We have busy work schedules, kids, stress, vacation, volunteering and sometimes live in separate parts of the country. My sister of the heart just had a new baby with serious health problems. So she has no time for me, no money for lunches or drinks, and only has a sitter for an hour a day so that she can get in a run or grocery shop or whatever. So if i want to see her, I need to run with her, or go with her grocery shopping, while she multi-tasks. Its always me who arranges to see her, because she is too preoccupied with her family at the moment. And thats ok. Its not personal. When we see each other (sometimes friends I haven't seen in 10 years), its all good.

Perhaps you too can pick up where you left off without making it a personal affront to you that they...I dunno...didn't revolve their life around you?

You sound needy and need more friends or a relationship of your own.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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01-08-2014, 04:00 PM
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
(01-08-2014 01:01 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(27-07-2014 12:36 PM)give me moon rocks Wrote:  A "friend" recently contacted me after breaking up with his girlfriend. He's been a serial monogamist as long as I've known him and getting him to hang out is like pulling teeth.

I just told him to fuck off. We're in our 30s and it blows my mind that anyone over the age of 15 does this or promotes this type of behavior. You need a healthy balance of seclusion, romance, and platonic relationships. Those who abandon their friends after getting a girlfriend or boyfriend are the types of people I respect the least.

Anyone know someone like this?

Sorry, since this isn't the support section, I can tell you that I whole heartedly agree.....With your Friend.

You are in your THIRTIES and taking personal offense to a man putting his partner above his friends? It sounds like you are the one thats needs to fuck off.

People come and go, sometimes more than once, from your life. Most of my friends and I see each other infrequently. We have busy work schedules, kids, stress, vacation, volunteering and sometimes live in separate parts of the country. My sister of the heart just had a new baby with serious health problems. So she has no time for me, no money for lunches or drinks, and only has a sitter for an hour a day so that she can get in a run or grocery shop or whatever. So if i want to see her, I need to run with her, or go with her grocery shopping, while she multi-tasks. Its always me who arranges to see her, because she is too preoccupied with her family at the moment. And thats ok. Its not personal. When we see each other (sometimes friends I haven't seen in 10 years), its all good.

Perhaps you too can pick up where you left off without making it a personal affront to you that they...I dunno...didn't revolve their life around you?

You sound needy and need more friends or a relationship of your own.

Exactly. Thumbsup


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01-08-2014, 04:15 PM (This post was last modified: 01-08-2014 04:25 PM by give me moon rocks.)
RE: People who abandon their friends after entering a romantic relationship
(01-08-2014 01:01 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(27-07-2014 12:36 PM)give me moon rocks Wrote:  A "friend" recently contacted me after breaking up with his girlfriend. He's been a serial monogamist as long as I've known him and getting him to hang out is like pulling teeth.

I just told him to fuck off. We're in our 30s and it blows my mind that anyone over the age of 15 does this or promotes this type of behavior. You need a healthy balance of seclusion, romance, and platonic relationships. Those who abandon their friends after getting a girlfriend or boyfriend are the types of people I respect the least.

Anyone know someone like this?

Sorry, since this isn't the support section, I can tell you that I whole heartedly agree.....With your Friend.

You are in your THIRTIES and taking personal offense to a man putting his partner above his friends? It sounds like you are the one thats needs to fuck off.

People come and go, sometimes more than once, from your life. Most of my friends and I see each other infrequently. We have busy work schedules, kids, stress, vacation, volunteering and sometimes live in separate parts of the country. My sister of the heart just had a new baby with serious health problems. So she has no time for me, no money for lunches or drinks, and only has a sitter for an hour a day so that she can get in a run or grocery shop or whatever. So if i want to see her, I need to run with her, or go with her grocery shopping, while she multi-tasks. Its always me who arranges to see her, because she is too preoccupied with her family at the moment. And thats ok. Its not personal. When we see each other (sometimes friends I haven't seen in 10 years), its all good.

Perhaps you too can pick up where you left off without making it a personal affront to you that they...I dunno...didn't revolve their life around you?

You sound needy and need more friends or a relationship of your own.

Dude, what does your bullshit story about friends in other parts of the country have to do with what I said?
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