People who hug
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14-06-2014, 04:29 PM
RE: People who hug
(14-06-2014 04:23 PM)evenheathen Wrote:  
(14-06-2014 03:33 PM)Takelababy Wrote:  Trying to reject a hug doesn't always work. My DIL will tell someone straight in a loud voice "don't touch me" whether male or female. This stops the potential hugger in their tracks. She cares not if there's an audience and I applaud her for that. She has her space and no one is to enter it. The potential hugger is risking being publicly embarrassed.

Or is already publicly embarrassed for simply trying to extend a warm gesture. Everyone is entitled to their own space, but you don't have to automatically be a bitch about it.

I agree with evenheathen. There's no reason to yell if you don't like being touched, unless you suffer from a relatively mild form of autism or another disorder that makes you panic or whatever when touched. You can (and should) say "I don't like to be touched"/"Please don't touch me" without making a big deal out of it.

The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
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14-06-2014, 04:51 PM
RE: People who hug
(12-06-2014 09:38 AM)Takelababy Wrote:  I'm not referring to family and very close friends, but acquaintances. I get very uncomfortable when people, especially men who try to hug me as there's always that sexual overtone to it. Women will do a neck hug but men seem to go for the full body, almost bear hug with a woman. I was raised to respect another's space but with too many men, when I've tried to opt for a handshake instead, they grab my hand and pull me toward them. I find myself covering my breasts with my other arm and pulling back. How do others deal with this. I left a social group for this very reason. People have this idea it makes others feel loved. They don't love me and I certainly don't love them nor feel loved by them. How do others deal with this?

People who hug are weird,especially family and friends. I opt for a handshake instead.
Plus,there is "2 kisses on zeh cheek". I'm always wondering if i should kiss them on the cheek or if i should be the one getting them.

But then again,human contact is weird for me.


So i always opt for a handshake.
When people hug me,i keep it as short as posibble and move away as fast as possible. There is always a small chance some crazy relative will try to grab and shake my cheek while saying "ooooooh you're so cute" Dodgy

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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14-06-2014, 04:57 PM
RE: People who hug
There is only one type of hug i accept:

---> Hug Hug from TTA people

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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14-06-2014, 06:06 PM
RE: People who hug
(14-06-2014 04:23 PM)evenheathen Wrote:  
(14-06-2014 03:33 PM)Takelababy Wrote:  Trying to reject a hug doesn't always work. My DIL will tell someone straight in a loud voice "don't touch me" whether male or female. This stops the potential hugger in their tracks. She cares not if there's an audience and I applaud her for that. She has her space and no one is to enter it. The potential hugger is risking being publicly embarrassed.

Or is already publicly embarrassed for simply trying to extend a warm gesture. Everyone is entitled to their own space, but you don't have to automatically be a bitch about it.

I had some girl yell "DON'T TOUCH ME" once... I IMMEDIATELY jumped back and screamed Sadcryface2"HELP! I NEED AN ADULT!"... That'll teach her for starting a LOOK AT ME! contest...
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14-06-2014, 09:24 PM
RE: People who hug
Evenheathen I can only conclude that you are a man to make the comment about being a bitch by loudly protesting being touched. Would you rather that someone who is afraid of being touched or hugged shot the hugger at point blank range in self defence?
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14-06-2014, 09:27 PM
RE: People who hug
I used to not like it AT ALL, (the huggy thing). Now I just don't care. Never thought about what changed. If you don't want a hug, and they pull you in, turn 90 degrees, so they get your shoulder, or say "you don't really want to do that, I have a cold".

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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14-06-2014, 09:43 PM
RE: People who hug
(14-06-2014 09:24 PM)Takelababy Wrote:  Evenheathen I can only conclude that you are a man to make the comment about being a bitch by loudly protesting being touched. Would you rather that someone who is afraid of being touched or hugged shot the hugger at point blank range in self defence?

Your conclusion would be correct! Thumbsup

However, I wasn't trying to be sexist, both men and women are capable of being bitches about things. Like One Above All said, there are easier and more amiable ways of letting someone know that you'd rather not be touched than loudly making a scene in public. Especially when the other person is doing nothing other that trying to be friendly.

And I don't quite get the comment about the hugger being shot, but whatever. No offense meant, I just get annoyed when people make a big deal out of nothing.

So you're not a hugger....I can respect that. But if you have to act like a bitch just to let me know, I won't respect that. By the way, I'm not a big hugger myself, but I do like hugs. I think they're nice when appropriate.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

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14-06-2014, 09:59 PM
RE: People who hug
OK. I'm going to move this thread.

The Personal Issues and Support is section is set aside for a purpose and I'm seeing general conversation rather than fulfillment of the purpose of providing support specifically addressed to the OP.

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14-06-2014, 10:04 PM
RE: People who hug
To be perfectly honest, I didn't notice it was in the PIAS until just a while ago. I suppose I was being slightly antagonistic, for which I apologize, just stating my opinion and given the section I shouldn't have. But I really don't mean any offense, Takelababy.

I'm not trying to rile anyone up. No

Forgive me?

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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15-06-2014, 09:34 AM
RE: People who hug
Thank you, apology accepted. Many men, not all, ignore the signs that someone doesn't wish to be hugged and I'm referring to the chest to breast hug. So many women have been abused as children and panic at the idea of someone they barely know trying to hug them. They may react by screaming hysterically, standing still too frightened to react or in the worst scenario pull a weapon. A woman who stands still isn't giving consent, she may be paralyzed with fear. Men need to realize they could be charged with sexual assault and use better judgement and wait until the woman offers a brief handshake.
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