People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
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15-02-2017, 02:49 PM
RE: People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
(15-02-2017 12:54 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  There have been times, when making many phone calls like recently, I've forgotten who I was calling. [...]

LOL... that happened to me too recently after being on hold for 30 minutes.

The woman finally answered: "Hello, this is Joanna from customer service".

Me: "Uh... erm... what company do you work for?" Sadcryface

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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15-02-2017, 03:54 PM
RE: People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
(15-02-2017 11:37 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  
(14-02-2017 11:25 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  You wanna face palm? Back in grammar school (yes the same one that taught that dinosaurs didn't exist like at all) they also taught that men had 11 ribs. It's true.

Yup. I remember that too. I also remember learning about sexuality by passing around a piece of unwrapped candy and at the end, my "teacher" said that our bodies were like the candy and whether we would want to eat that candy after all the class handled it. Pisses me off now.

This was a "teachable moment". Bring your teacher a nice shiny apple.

Ask her if she knows how many people have handled that apple.
- The underpaid Mexican workers who don't have sanitary facilities in the orchards and have to crap behind a tree.
- The slew of minimum wage warehouse workers and grocery stock boys with all the hygiene that $10/hr will buy.
- The hooker with the herpetic sores that crotch-pollished it South Park style when you explained who it was for.

These questions are best asked half way through the apple to underscore the point.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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15-02-2017, 04:01 PM
RE: People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
In the summer I really enjoy my bicycle (and motorcycle, but that's another thread altogether). So I truly understand the issues that bicyclists have on city streets.

But jeez...

I've seen cyclists riding the wrong way down the road, the wrong way down a one-way street, through red lights, weaving in and out of traffic, riding on the sidewalk, riding through intersections, and dodging pedestrians...

And they STILL complain that they're the ones hard-done by even though they get preferential treatment.

If I, as a driver (or motorcyclist) did HALF of what most - yes, I do mean most - cyclists do on city streets every day, I'd lose my license and maybe even do time.
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15-02-2017, 04:17 PM
People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
The biggest problem on the road is polite drivers. Being nice in your car to other drivers causes traffic mayhem. Drive by the rules of the road and things should progress smoothly. Being polite just causes grief for everyone else. You want to be nice buy a coffee for the guy at timmys behind you.


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15-02-2017, 04:40 PM
RE: People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
People who get on the elevator on the top floor and ask if you're going down.
People who get on the elevator when you're in the basement and ask if you're going up.

No. I'm fucking going sideways.

People who get on the elevator and announce the floor they're going to, expecting someone else to push their floor number. I LOVE it when no one does, and just looks like "I don't see your arm in any sling".
Then they get huffy and do it themselves, and people smile and laugh.
Life's little dramas. Laugh out loadLaugh out loadLaugh out loadLaugh out load
(I'm such a bastard).

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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15-02-2017, 05:20 PM
RE: People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
(15-02-2017 04:17 PM)Goosesniper Wrote:  The biggest problem on the road is polite drivers. Being nice in your car to other drivers causes traffic mayhem. Drive by the rules of the road and things should progress smoothly. Being polite just causes grief for everyone else. You want to be nice buy a coffee for the guy at timmys behind you.


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What I really need is a gimbal-mounted Ma Deuce on the roof of my truck with a controller built into my stick-shift, so's I can shoot the bastard forcing me to downshift.
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15-02-2017, 06:12 PM
RE: People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
(15-02-2017 04:40 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  People who get on the elevator on the top floor and ask if you're going down.
People who get on the elevator when you're in the basement and ask if you're going up.

These are the fun people in life! You simply give them a deadpan "Nope." and watch the ensuing bafflement.

It's like when I shave off my five pound beard and people ask me, "Hey! Did you shave?"

"Nope."

---
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15-02-2017, 06:34 PM
RE: People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
(15-02-2017 11:55 AM)Loom Wrote:  Ya'know what I hate about shopping/working retail? Self-checkout machines.

Not the machines themselves, but the clueless people who use them. Who sit there and gawk at the screen, no idea what to do despite the massive blinky font and blinky lights telling them what to do.

How do these people get out of bed without someone holding their hand?

OMFG dude.. at work our carpark put in pay machines just before Christmas.
The thing is, before our carpark was 2 hours free parking and after that the company that we lease the carpark out too will tow your car. $180 to get it out of impound.
With the pay machines you STILL get 2 hours free parking except now you just have input your numberplate when you arrive. BUT instead of impounding you they'll just give you a $55 fine.

They put in huge obvious signage on how to use these machines and what you must do. It's written all over the machine. I've even used the machine because I was helping some dude who forgot his glasses and the machine is incredibly easy to use. You just put in your fucking number plate when you arrive, that's it. You don't need to display anything or put in anything when you leave.

The amount of customer complaints... omg dude... I can't even... because I'm on security most the time I'm the first person people see and so EVERYONE would bitch and moan to me like it's all my fault.

You know what though? Ever since they started ticketing people (because for like a month they weren't ticketing so people could adjust) everyone seems to suddenly understand how it works.. funny that.

Stupid customer fucks. And we're still the only free carpark in town so either learn the seemingly idiot proof system or fuck off somewhere else and pay.
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15-02-2017, 08:27 PM
People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
(15-02-2017 06:34 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  I'm on security most the time I'm the first person people see

Awww, I bet you are an adorable little fellow in your little security guard outfit.
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15-02-2017, 08:32 PM
RE: People who need to fuck off and die. A mini series by Muffs. S01E02
(15-02-2017 08:27 PM)KUSA Wrote:  
(15-02-2017 06:34 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  I'm on security most the time I'm the first person people see

Awww, I bet you are an adorable little fellow in your little security guard outfit.

1) I'm adorable no matter what I'm wearing.
and
2) I don't have a security guard outfit, I wear the companies uniform like everyone else.
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