Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
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17-07-2015, 09:35 AM
Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
Hello all,

I was wondering if there is any philosopher who wrote on the subject of self-doubt and fear? Tonight I am beating myself up; feeling completely regretful for not taking actions earlier. I met some students from the University of Winchester after work that were evidently interested in my experience here in Thailand, if not more! I do not mean to come off egotistic, but one female student in particular wanted to converse with me. I granted her that for a small while before doubting myself and heading home (which was my original plan before bumping into them). I had a choice of staying and getting to know them longer, but something inside me rejected this idea and before I knew it I was saying goodbye and walking away.

I know what my underlying issue is; lack of confidence, fear and self-doubt. My personal experiences with people has left me reserved and guarded. These are obviously things I have to overcome. I can't expect to read some philosophical texts and magically change will occur. However, like many of you, I think deeply into things and if I could understand the truth behind these fears and doubt then I can begin to make the appropriate actions.

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works...bitches.” - Richie D Da Illest
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17-07-2015, 09:43 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
Hello! Big Grin

Hug
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17-07-2015, 10:01 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
Fear is a good thing. It's an evolved trait that's there for a reason. It causes you to approach new situations with caution --- which 9 times out of 10 is a good thing.

Don't worry too much about it.

It'll change as you age and gain experience.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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17-07-2015, 10:15 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
"Thick Face Black Heart" by Chin Ning Chu is probably my favorite book on the subject of overcoming fear, self doubt, and criticism (and a few other related subjects).

You can find it in PDF form online pretty easy, but I'd suggest grabbing the book. I reread it at least once every year or two. She incorporates a lot of various philosophies into a more evolved, broader outlook, and does so in a much more straight forward and brutally honest manner than many other authors who have tried to tackle the subject and end up regurgitating bullshit cookie cutter solutions like "just stop being negative."

She was Catholic, and she does incorporate some of her religious views into the book, but she's not over the top with it and it's easy to incorporate most of what she says into your own philosophy without being religious.

'Murican Canadian
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17-07-2015, 10:17 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
(17-07-2015 10:01 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Fear is a good thing. It's an evolved trait that's there for a reason. It causes you to approach new situations with caution --- which 9 times out of 10 is a good thing.

Don't worry too much about it.

It'll change as you age and gain experience.

I try not to worry about it but I can't help feel that fear is going to cripple the possible relationships and connections I could make. What if that opportunity that I ran away from was my ticket to my dream job or life long friend? Shouldn't I be open to all encounters?

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works...bitches.” - Richie D Da Illest
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17-07-2015, 10:27 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
(17-07-2015 10:15 AM)yakherder Wrote:  "Thick Face Black Heart" by Chin Ning Chu is probably my favorite book on the subject of overcoming fear, self doubt, and criticism (and a few other related subjects).

You can find it in PDF form online pretty easy, but I'd suggest grabbing the book. I reread it at least once every year or two. She incorporates a lot of various philosophies into a more evolved, broader outlook, and does so in a much more straight forward and brutally honest manner than many other authors who have tried to tackle the subject and end up regurgitating bullshit cookie cutter solutions like "just stop being negative."

She was Catholic, and she does incorporate some of her religious views into the book, but she's not over the top with it and it's easy to incorporate most of what she says into your own philosophy without being religious.

Thank you for the recommendation. I just recently found out I could convert pdf files into Kindle friendly versions so I will probably take that route. All the English book stores here only carry "50 Shades of Grey" and the "Game of Throne" series.

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works...bitches.” - Richie D Da Illest
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17-07-2015, 10:28 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
(17-07-2015 10:17 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  
(17-07-2015 10:01 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Fear is a good thing. It's an evolved trait that's there for a reason. It causes you to approach new situations with caution --- which 9 times out of 10 is a good thing.

Don't worry too much about it.

It'll change as you age and gain experience.

I try not to worry about it but I can't help feel that fear is going to cripple the possible relationships and connections I could make. What if that opportunity that I ran away from was my ticket to my dream job or life long friend? Shouldn't I be open to all encounters?

This isn't the 60's.......

Back then - yeah -- now??? Not so much.

It's all a roll of the dice - so you do have to take chances -- just take chances prudently.

You may miss an opportunity -- but you might miss a catastrophe as well.

You can punish yourself second guessing your actions -- but why?? That's for the Catholics.....

Half the fun is figuring shit out.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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17-07-2015, 10:32 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
When I was young I had a fear of telephones. Well, not of the phone, of placing a call. Answering a ringing phone was no problem. But for some irrational reason I never understood I dreaded making calls to people I didn't know or know well. Imagine being trepidatious about ordering a pizza. Or, since I fly, being nervous about calling flight service to get the weather (back when the internet didn't exist and the telephone was the principal instrument of inquiry).

Then one day needing a job I took the first thing I could get, a commission only desk at a small employment agency that found jobs. It was a good move - within three months I'd found a better job. Clever. But it was also a good move in what the job was: making cold calls on the phone to people to persuade them to interview my candidates.

It was like chucking someone afraid of the water into a deep pool with no life preserver - swim or drown. I'd completely lost my anxiety about calling up strangers before the end of the first day. And there's no trace of that anxiety now, 40 years later.

All of which is to say that social circumstances you find make you anxious - seek them out, get immersed. I think you'll find sooner than you think you'll not just become comfortable but will look forward to them.
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17-07-2015, 10:39 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
(17-07-2015 10:28 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  
(17-07-2015 10:17 AM)HappyTiger Wrote:  I try not to worry about it but I can't help feel that fear is going to cripple the possible relationships and connections I could make. What if that opportunity that I ran away from was my ticket to my dream job or life long friend? Shouldn't I be open to all encounters?

This isn't the 60's.......

Back then - yeah -- now??? Not so much.

It's all a roll of the dice - so you do have to take chances -- just take chances prudently.

You may miss an opportunity -- but you might miss a catastrophe as well.

You can punish yourself second guessing your actions -- but why?? That's for the Catholics.....

Half the fun is figuring shit out.

Thanks. That made me smile. I'm still figuring out this whole atheism thing out which is convenient with sorting out this whole post-college shit storm.

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works...bitches.” - Richie D Da Illest
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17-07-2015, 11:02 AM
RE: Philosophy on self-doubt/fear
(17-07-2015 10:32 AM)Airportkid Wrote:  When I was young I had a fear of telephones. Well, not of the phone, of placing a call. Answering a ringing phone was no problem. But for some irrational reason I never understood I dreaded making calls to people I didn't know or know well. Imagine being trepidatious about ordering a pizza. Or, since I fly, being nervous about calling flight service to get the weather (back when the internet didn't exist and the telephone was the principal instrument of inquiry).

Then one day needing a job I took the first thing I could get, a commission only desk at a small employment agency that found jobs. It was a good move - within three months I'd found a better job. Clever. But it was also a good move in what the job was: making cold calls on the phone to people to persuade them to interview my candidates.

It was like chucking someone afraid of the water into a deep pool with no life preserver - swim or drown. I'd completely lost my anxiety about calling up strangers before the end of the first day. And there's no trace of that anxiety now, 40 years later.

All of which is to say that social circumstances you find make you anxious - seek them out, get immersed. I think you'll find sooner than you think you'll not just become comfortable but will look forward to them.

Thank you. I will keep that in mind as I proceed through my day. I was a pizza delivery driver during college and I learned how to become an expert at small talk, I suppose it's the same here, except the language and culture is different here. It's a matter of applying the same technique with different customs. Which I am still learning. I still have trouble going beyond small talk though.

“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design of planes on science, they fly. If you base the design of rockets on science, they reach the moon. It works...bitches.” - Richie D Da Illest
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