Physical scar from suicide attempt
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20-03-2014, 11:56 PM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
(20-03-2014 11:36 PM)LostandInsecure Wrote:  You know, that scar is not only a reminder of a place you never ever want to go back to, but also symbol of the strength you had to have to get away from that place. I also have a scar, mine isn't from a suicide attempt, and I can hide it. (It is on the left side of my stomach)I used to stare at that scar for hours and hate it and hate myself and hate the person who put it there. My life was filled with so much hate back then. Now, though, when I see it I think about how brave I was to get out of that place, I think about how I will never ever be in a place like that again.
It was actually my grandmother who helped me see it that way. She told me every time I see it to say "I am strong, I am beautiful, and I am free" and it seems silly at first talking about yourself out loud when you're all alone lol, but it really helped. Anyways, I don't think you should see that scar as a bad thing.
:hugs: Heart

^This.

Plus I love the idea of the phoenix feather tattoo. Great symbolism and a reminder to rise above. That you can, have, and will.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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21-03-2014, 03:02 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
I was never able to even attempt suicide even though I longed for it at one point throughout every waking moment during one particular winter in my early 20's.

Scars do fade over time but it does take many years. The way I see them now is that they are battle scars to be proud of. They mark your success over whatever life has thrown you.This won't help you now if the sight of the scar is giving you flashbacks though. You can get professional help for this. Either way, time is a great healer.

If you are worried about people asking about it then I found giving ridiculous answers with a perfect straight face helps a lot. What this tells people is that you don't want to answer the question but insisting on the ridiculous answer also means that if they persist they won't get anywhere.

So for example, when someone came up to me and asked what happened to my neck, I would reply "paper cut"

or

"it's where the alien ganglion exited my body"
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21-03-2014, 03:06 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
(20-03-2014 09:03 PM)Charis Wrote:  I have been to therapy. I cannot afford more atm, but the martial arts is less expensive, and quite frankly, more effective for me right now.

I've never actually been to therapy myself but I did do a hell of a lot of martial arts at one point. It certainly helped me grow in confidence and it also killed my depression. The exercise meant that I started eating properly and lost the desire to drink, this resulted in my base-line level of happiness increasing.
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21-03-2014, 03:31 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
If the tattoo option is a bit permanent, try bullshitting. Say you got the scar on an evening of heavy drinking with friends. You can frame the story however you want from there.

I think this route diffuses the suspicion of those that love to pry while making it appear as a pure accident.

8000 years before Jesus, the Egyptian god Horus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life."
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21-03-2014, 03:40 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
I am sorry to hear that things have been so dark for you that you attempted to end your life. However, I am really glad that you were not successful and you're still here. My daughters best friend committed suicide at just 18yrs old and we miss her so much and we so wish she had not been successful and was still here with us.

But...YES...get a tattoo! I have some swirly apple blossoms on my wrist that were designed by my daughter and I love it. I would say, find a tattooist with a really good rep and a style you like and then go for it. Thumbsup

"The person who is certain, and who claims divine warrant for his certainty, belongs now to the infancy of our species." - Christopher Hitchens

"Remember kids, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing. Have a great day!" - Ricky Gervais
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21-03-2014, 05:32 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
I can understand wanting to get rid of the scars or cover them up. I have scars on my arms myself from cutting that, while fortunately not very prominent, are still obvious enough that people always notice them eventually. And while it's not so much shame of my history anymore, it's still uncomfortable to always worry about the stigma and judgement of people seeing it. To have to deal with being labeled crazy or attention-seeking or whatever based on something very painful in your past. And it would be nice to not have that permanent reminder of what happened and not having to explain to people, especially children.

I think you should talk to your GP about options for minimizing the scars. Some creams or even plastic surgery might be an option for minimizing it. Alternatively, I agree that finding a skilled tattoo artist who can help you with the best way of covering it with a beautiful piece of art is a great idea.

Obviously in an ideal world we'd all learn to live proudly with the scars of our past and not feel the need to cover them up. But sometimes, in the real world, there are some things about yourself and your history that you would like to only share with those closest to you, not have posted prominently on your body for the whole world to see.
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21-03-2014, 06:32 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
Charis - sorry you are having to go through that. My second daugher is a cutter and has quite a few scars. Most of her cutting was done in places that are covered by every day outer wear. She did slash up her arm real good not to long ago. She has been wearing long sleeves ever since. We have her in consouling and it seems to be helping.

Anyway - at some point you are going to have to accept that the scar is part of you. Hopefully you can use it as a positive reminder of what you over came.

Best of luck, stay strong, hug.
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21-03-2014, 08:49 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
(20-03-2014 08:49 PM)sporehux Wrote:  You get to know the look of resignation in peoples eyes, I just rattle off any small talk that comes to mind when I think i see the signs, some times they just need someone to say hello, to release the pressure valve, you would have one hell of a conversation starter.

^^This.
I do the exact same thing.

Atir aissom atir imon
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21-03-2014, 08:56 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
Honestly, I would say keep the scar. You said you work with teens? What if one sees it and asks you for help? Would it be worth it to help just one person?

Atir aissom atir imon
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21-03-2014, 09:05 AM
RE: Physical scar from suicide attempt
Ive got two long scars on my left wrist from an attempt I made 14 years ago. Now I don't even register them. In all that time I have only caught one person looking and I am sure others have seen but have never asked.

If the scar distroubles you when you see it, ask yourself what is good about being alive, any reasons your glad you never succeeded in dying. Look at your scar and give it that association.

Your scar can be a dark broody thing or it can be a shining light....

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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