Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
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27-06-2011, 10:00 AM
 
Thumbs Up Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
I was wondering what scriptures people liked to pick when approached with the challenge of trying to apply a scripture to your life. Most of the time one is suggested for you, as they have a rehearsed response for that one in particular. Though do you let them start their pitch or do you quickly suggest one of your own?

Here is one of my favorites, as you could apply it to your life (without going to prison) but the idea of applying it to your life is completely ridiculous.

Leviticus 1:14-17 - If the offering to the lord is a burnt offering of birds, you are to offer a dove or a young pigeon. The priest shall bring it to the altar, wring off the head and burn it on the altar; its blood shall be drained out on the side of the altar. He is to remove the crop and the feathers and throw them down east of the altar where the ashes are. He shall tear it open by the wings, not dividing it completely, and then the priest shall burn it on the wood that is burning on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the lord.
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27-06-2011, 11:07 AM
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
(27-06-2011 10:00 AM)Maskelyne Wrote:  an aroma pleasing to the lord.
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27-06-2011, 11:26 AM
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
(27-06-2011 11:07 AM)The_observer Wrote:  
(27-06-2011 10:00 AM)Maskelyne Wrote:  an aroma pleasing to the lord.
[Image: vomit-boy01-vomit-puke-sick-smiley-emoti...-large.gif]

MMM... fire roasted squab (pigeon meat).

LOL the "lord" must be some sort of redneck or something, that's the only people I know that find squab appealing.

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27-06-2011, 11:31 AM
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
A lot of was Jesus preached is actually pretty bad to apply to your life.

Matthew 5:39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Matthew 25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

If anyone really applied this they would be killed or probably die of starvation.

"Do what though wilt shall be the whole of the Law." - The Book of the Law
"There is no God but man" - Liber OZ

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27-06-2011, 11:47 AM
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
(27-06-2011 11:31 AM)Robertus_ Wrote:  If anyone really applied this they would be killed or probably die of starvation.

Or in the very least, they'd be running around nekkid!......


.......hey wait a minute. I think I'm starting to like this Jesus guy.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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27-06-2011, 12:02 PM
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
Quote:Or in the very least, they'd be running around nekkid!.....

Jesus was a visionary! As it turns out, Jesus was not the son of god, but the son of Garth and all he ever wanted to do was open a nudist colony where everyone ate nuts and berries.

The Romans decided that Jesus was a threat to their naked frolicking seaside resorts, so they decided to "take care of business"...

This sounded a lot more funny in my head, mind you.

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27-06-2011, 02:39 PM
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
(27-06-2011 11:26 AM)monkeyshine89 Wrote:  
(27-06-2011 11:07 AM)The_observer Wrote:  
(27-06-2011 10:00 AM)Maskelyne Wrote:  an aroma pleasing to the lord.
[Image: vomit-boy01-vomit-puke-sick-smiley-emoti...-large.gif]

MMM... fire roasted squab (pigeon meat).

LOL the "lord" must be some sort of redneck or something, that's the only people I know that find squab appealing.
ever smelled burning feathers?

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27-06-2011, 03:45 PM
 
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
God can't have been a redneck, he specifically forbade eating roadkill in Deuteronomy 14:21! (And cooking goats in their own mother's milk, whatever that means)

"Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an alien living in any of your towns, and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner. But you are a people holy to the LORD your God. Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk."
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28-06-2011, 08:27 AM
 
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
Deuteronomy must be God's cookbook.

28:53-57 (depending on version the cannibalism has been significantly downplayed or not downplayed at all) - Because of the suffering that your enemy will inflict on you during the siege, you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the Lord your God has given you. Even the most gentle and sensitive man among you will have no compassion on his own brother or the wife he loves or his surviving children, and he will not give to one of them any of the flesh of his children that he is eating. It will be all he has left because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege of all your cities. The most gentle and sensitive woman among you - so sensitive and gentle that she would not venture to touch the ground with the sole of her foot - will begrudge the husband she loves and her own son or daughter the afterbirth from her womb and the children she bears. For she intends to eat them secretly during the siege and in the distress that your enemy will inflict on you in your cities.
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28-06-2011, 09:45 AM
RE: Pick a scripture, any scripture ....
(27-06-2011 11:31 AM)Robertus_ Wrote:  A lot of was Jesus preached is actually pretty bad to apply to your life.

Matthew 5:39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Matthew 25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

If anyone really applied this they would be killed or probably die of starvation.

Christianity has long been the religion "about" Jesus... not the religion "of" Jesus... hahahaha Nobody cares what he "says"... especially what he says in the synoptic gospels. To modern Christians, in my opinion, they are only concerned with him dying for their sins (thanks Paul)... and if he has something to say that furthers their cause or is in line with their prejudices.. then they will quote Jesus... otherwise they will ignore or "reinterpret" his message. How may christian bumper stickers have you seen that say sell everything and give to the poor.....

Mark 10: 17-21
17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.
19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’
20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”
21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.” Orson Welles
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