Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
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20-06-2016, 04:44 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
Many years ago uber-creepy guy came back from a short stint in the military. I was living in a town about half an hour from my hometown and was hanging out with people who knew him before but I didn't. He got brought back into the group just because they all knew him...creepy cousin or kid brother type.

He had, in the past, been fixated on everyone my boyfriend at the time had ever dated and then I was the next one on his list. Pissed him off that Lance (seriously I dated a Lance and even had a child with him) could pretty much get any woman he wanted and he couldn't get any woman.

He constantly wanted to know what I saw in Lance. Ummm...the same thing every other woman around saw in Lance. DUH!

One night he eased up beside me and whispered in my ear, "I can make you feel things you've never felt before." I responded with, "What, sick to my stomach in bed?"

He really thought that line was going to the one sent me running to his bed while peeling off my clothes. Facepalm

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20-06-2016, 04:53 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
(20-06-2016 04:44 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Many years ago uber-creepy guy came back from a short stint in the military. I was living in a town about half an hour from my hometown and was hanging out with people who knew him before but I didn't. He got brought back into the group just because they all knew him...creepy cousin or kid brother type.

He had, in the past, been fixated on everyone my boyfriend at the time had ever dated and then I was the next one on his list. Pissed him off that Lance (seriously I dated a Lance and even had a child with him) could pretty much get any woman he wanted and he couldn't get any woman.

He constantly wanted to know what I saw in Lance. Ummm...the same thing every other woman around saw in Lance. DUH!

One night he eased up beside me and whispered in my ear, "I can make you feel things you've never felt before." I responded with, "What, sick to my stomach in bed?"

He really thought that line was going to the one sent me running to his bed while peeling off my clothes. Facepalm

Would have been weird if he would have said "You really like that Lance? Well you haven't seen mine yet."

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20-06-2016, 07:33 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
(20-06-2016 04:26 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  
(20-06-2016 11:44 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.

Or..

Man, that chick is as easy as carbon, she'll couple with alnost anything.
Oh burn...

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You must be the speed of light, because time stops when I look at you.

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20-06-2016, 08:28 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
Hey, this place is loud, right? Yeah, I... I SAID IT'S LOUD. Yeah, right. Hey you know what? They flash those lights in our eyes so we won't see each other clearly so all but the worst looking among us... I SAID THE WORST LOOKING AMONG US CAN GET LAID. Yeah, that's all that is. Deprive us of our two primary senses then pump us full of mandatory drinks... So, you wanna get out of... I SAID DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF... I SAID I AM LEAVING YOU CAN FOLLOW IF YOU WANT.

I don't get out much. Thank goodness I'm married.
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20-06-2016, 08:57 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
[Image: d7c99f1ea70f3a4c6a8e41db559c850e.jpg]

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20-06-2016, 09:01 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
"I don't even like to talk to my own family, the fuck I wanna talk to you."

#sigh
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20-06-2016, 09:02 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
Excuse me, do you have the time? I left my watch in my Lamborghini.

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20-06-2016, 09:06 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
<licks eyebrows>
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20-06-2016, 09:14 PM
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
(20-06-2016 09:02 PM)cactus Wrote:  Excuse me, do you have the time? I left my watch in my Lamborghini.

I left my Rolex in my Lamborghini.

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20-06-2016, 09:25 PM (This post was last modified: 20-06-2016 09:40 PM by Shai Hulud.)
RE: Pick up lines - ooooohhh yeh
Roses are red, violets are blue. If you were a null hypothesis, I'd fail to reject you.

If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you!

One I've actually used: Roses are red, the TARDIS is blue. With that said, I care about you.

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