Please help :( Voice in my head...
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06-02-2014, 04:55 PM
Please help :( Voice in my head...
I am suffering for this irrational guilt :/ Is not getting better in time so far :/
Let just start from beginning. I am 25... 6 years ago I was hitting the bottom. Friend of mine offered me to join in a group of people who like to discuss problems. I did not realise that was actually group of believers who were there to convince that God exist. Well it happened I try not to think about this as a mistake but rather try to find positive site of it. Like “I made it, I did not let them to get me” or “I know more about how irrational they are” etc. But they get me in some part. I gave them rational arguments etc but the answer was “We are not smart enough to understand, but that’s ok” but also there were “Think like we do or you will go to hell”. Well for 4 years was ok, but a few months ago, a girl who was in this group as well and who become a big irrational believer, wrote to me on my FB and ask if I am still non-believer. I said yes, after having an argument from my site rational arguments, from her just “I have right, i don’t care about science, I believe, Jesus exist if you like it or not, and you will understand after you die, better start to believe or you will go to hell”. I know how ridicules it is sounds but this unhappy (I know it from conversation) and irrational 22 old, depress lady get me :/ Everything just comes back. Fear and uncontrolled thoughts. My rational part of ego says that it is not truth, no evidence, bullshit but there is a voice in my head that I have in every single move of mine act. It is everything, reading, education, listening some music brands, watching movies like Harry Potter, flirting with woman, and worse all my plans for future are not value anymore and I stop do go forward, because I have this voice, that i should left everything and join them, or i will get ticket to hell. I can’t enjoy in any of it anymore so far, because I am losing motivation before I even start. Because there is a voice that says “you can’t do that, will go to hell, etc” I recall this moments from this group before I start to do anything. It is killing me :/

Any advices for me? I would be extremely grateful.
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06-02-2014, 04:59 PM
RE: Please help :( Voice in my head...
There might be others that can help...

Hugs


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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06-02-2014, 05:12 PM
RE: Please help :( Voice in my head...
I think I was at a similar stage a few years ago during my deconversion, an irrational fear of "what if I'm wrong?" (if I understand correctly?)
I would suggest start educating yourself. You're scared of the unknown, so start asking questions and finding your own path. You'll feel much more confident and you'll no longer have to fear that stuff

Atir aissom atir imon
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06-02-2014, 05:13 PM
RE: Please help :( Voice in my head...
It happens to me when I'm in my weakest moments that the old catholic guilt train gets me, and it takes some time to make the sparks in my brain to behave as they should. So...

First, hell doesn't exist, these people made you feel fear of fake things so they can feel better about themselves, they prey upon your suffering, don't let them, cut them off, block them from FB, block them from your life, end things on bad terms if you have to, they don't deserve your respect and you shouldn't even offer it to them. They take you in your weakest moments and threat you and call that "help", fuck it, help yourself by getting rid of toxic assholes.

Second, seek professional help, when you hit rock bottom it's terribly hard pick yourself up, even more if you've been mind-raped by that kind of fundie theists. It seems you have some underlying problem beyond that guilt, maybe a mild (or not so mild) depression, so if your brain is playing trick on you, talk to a professional. At least a few sessions can help enormously.

And vent here whenever you need, we're can't do much, but we can write nice things to make you feel a bit better Smile

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06-02-2014, 08:52 PM
RE: Please help :( Voice in my head...
You are letting a bunch of religious control freaks get to you. Guess what. There have been many brilliant minds who didn't believe and if they've gone to hell, think how interesting it must be. Heaven accepts converted killers from death row. That's who that group will be spending eternal life with. Not for me, thanks.
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06-02-2014, 09:05 PM
RE: Please help :( Voice in my head...
I'm very skeptical of this story. I think this story may be a farce... just saying.
I'm very skeptical of some of the crazy stories here. I think they might be made by believers who want to use subliminal messages to warp our minds.
Well, who cares.

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